Nengkoy in a Zip Line

Posted on July 17, 2011 by heavenliner

Nengkoy just did an uncommon feat for a woman who is turning seventy five years old next year. It is an accomplishment that some would even include in their bucket list. Others don’t ever dare do it because of fear. They would simply shiver by the mere thought of it.

Too bad I was not around to personally witness it. It is good nonetheless, because if I was there I would have not allowed her to do it (because I – who would be scared to death if I do it – will use her as my major reason that me and her will not do it since she’s too fragile for such a challenge).

Nengkoy spent a four-day vacation in Puerto Princesa, Palawan with my younger sister, my eldest nephew Denden and nieces Erika and Thatcher. And here is the proof of what Nengkoy did in that beautiful adventure land…

inside the ugong rock

getting ready to fly

nengkoy in a zip-line

Yeah, my mother did the ala-fear factor zip-line! That is after going upwards though the maze, cracks, crevices and honeycomb limestone caves of Ugong Rock, Nengkoy went down this karst topography via the 330-meter aerial rope-slide.

When I asked her why she did it, she simply answered, “Eh gusto ko eh! At mas mahirap kaya bumaba sa kweba!” (I want it! And besides it’s harder to climb down those caves). According to my nephew as he was told by the zip-line controllers, the oldest person to ride their zip-line so far is an 84-year old male tourist. But they could not confirm if Nengkoy is the oldest female flying fox slider they had. Nengkoy also told me that some of the people there were so amazed, they were asking for her autograph!

Yan si Nengkoy, may pagka-Amasona ang byuti! Ano susunod bungee jumping?! Hihihi

A Rare Birthday Celebration Suggestion

Posted on July 8, 2011 by heavenliner

luis

During the birthday dinner of my Ate Gaying at Nengkoy’s humble abode, she asked the members of Nengkoy’s dynasty on what would be a brilliant activity the family would like to do to celebrate her only child’s birthday. Luis, my darkest dashing and school-heartthrob pamangkin, is celebrating his 15^th birthday on July 12 but since it is a weekday, the family agreed to celebrate it on a weekend. When it was my turn to air out my ideas, I presented two spectacular suggestions.

Option number 1 was for the whole clan to go to the long-been-neglected and dilapidated Manila Zoo. I explained that it has been a long time since any of us has entered and witnessed this ancient zoo in the metropolis. It would be a good chance for the whole family to see how the stinky elderly animals live their boring lives in captivity.

The second option, my personal choice, was the rarest which I believe no single soul in this planet has done to celebrate a birthday. Option number 2 was for the whole clan to ride the crammed and jam-packed Manila Rail Transit (MRT) train from Pasay Rotonda station to North Avenue station in Quezon City then back!

The idea was for the whole family to get off the train and take photos (with wacky poses) of the whole group in every stop and station. I’m sure these pictures will be posted in the private Facebook page of the family called Team Langit. Clever and brain twisting parlor games will be played while the coach is running in between stations, one great game sample would be the classic Pinoy Henyo.

When the whole clan reached North Avenue station (the last station), Nengkoy and her descendants will be treated to a sumptuous afternoon meal catered either by susyal Cibo or mas susyal LaMer Catering. The caterer’s set-up will not be in any of the dining venues inside the mall adjacent to North Avenue station but will be right there at the MRT station’s train landing (of course with the permission from MRT management).

After the lavish meal, the whole family will take the train ride back to Pasay Rotonda. Since Pasay Rotonda station is only 10 minutes away from SM Mall of Asia, the whole tribe will proceed to this mall riding the luxurious Kuliglig (an urban jungle motorized pedicab). To culminate the birthday dude’s celebration, the whole family will wait to watch for the mall’s spectacular weekend fireworks extravaganza!

O di ba kakaiba at magandang aydiya?! Adbans Happy Birthday Luis… : )

Cuaderno

Posted on May 17, 2011 by heavenliner

Regular schooling will re-open and start in less than a month. In the 80’s it is the time of the year when me and my siblings are busy collating all unused pages of our previous school year’s notebooks and stitch it together to create a new but recycled cuadernos (notebooks). Thanks to my Lola Teray who provided us with colorful strings which we used in binding. This yearly recycling practice enables Nengkoy to purchase only few additional notebooks which we would use for the fresh school year.

During those days, what was so chic to have as cuadernos were those with covers of popular Pinoy celebrities – Maricel Soriano with William Martinez; Sharon Cuneta with Gabby Concepcion; Snooky Serna with Albert Martinez; and (of course the ever popular) Leni Santos and PJ Abellana! I was one of those deprived with these modish cuadernos because Nengkoy always settle for the cheap notebooks with low-grade paper quality.

True enough, I never really envied those kids and classmates who had those notebooks with celebrities in the cover. If I would be given a chance again to relive my life’s schooldays I would still stick on choosing those recycled left-over papers bunched together and transform it into useful storage of written knowledge and information. It’s personalized; its earth friendly, and, it’s a product of precious family bonding.

my present journal

Now that I am bigger, I no longer call cuadernos as notebooks but instead dub it as journals. Para sosyal! And now that I am older and have an extra money to spend, I would gladly and instantaneously purchase a journal whose fine print cover would be the photos of two of the greatest antagonist legends in Philippine cinema – Paquito Diaz and Bella Flores.

Cuaderno sa Ispanish, nowtbuk sa Ingles, eh ano sa Tagalog?

(Sagot: Aklat ng Nota)

Nengkoy & Me in a Photo (A Mother’s Day Feature)

Posted on May 7, 2011 by heavenliner

Facebook account holders who have fantastic relationship with their respective mothers have been changing their profile picture to photos of their mother or with their mother. They vow to keep it there till the last hour of May 8 (Mothers Day). But let me deviate a little from this delightful bandwagon. Instead of changing my gorgeous looking profile picture, let me post a photo of me and Nengkoy in this blog. This photo will not only remain until the last hour of May 8 but until this blogging comes to an apocalyptic end.

Every photo has a tale. A good photo could even rouse multiple narratives out from the depicted visual content or subject matter. In this manner, I would like to put a title to the photograph I posted that would best describe this shot. But lots of thoughts come into my ridiculous mind.

Some of the titles that cropped out of my wits were as follows:

“The Beautiful Main Course and the Naughty Dessert“

“Si Aling Lupe at si Gary” (from telenovela Mara Clara)

“Ang Bida at Ang Kontra Bida“

“Madonna and Child-ish“

“Nengkoy with her Yummy Kid“

“Ang Mahjongera at ang Taong Grasa“

“The Impossibly Stunning & The Pornographically Sexy“

Hapi Maders Dey Nanay! Kises, kises, kises… Pengeng pera!

Shhh… Patay Ang Diyos!

Posted on April 22, 2011 by heavenliner

nengkoy's shhh

I am from Manila, probably the loudest city in the world. But today is a totally different Manila. It’s freaking quiet! There literally are no cars on the streets, no ear splitting karaoke buzz emanating from households, the malls are closed and everybody is out of town. Manila today is a dead zone.

For me, the most horrific day of the year is Good Friday. It is scarier that Halloween and most horrendous than a Physics exam at school or a day you need to pay for household bills. It is so petrifying because today is the day God died.

This fear has been inculcated in my moronic brain since childhood. Since childhood as a tradition, today is the day that we couldn’t make noise before 3:00 PM because God is in misery and we couldn’t make noise after 3:00 PM because God is dead.

It is a common and ancient convention in our family’s compound in Pasay that we would receive fierce looks from the elders (starting with Lola Teray and Lola Anghiling) and say “Shhh! Patay ang Diyos!”, if you happen to have been the cause of any sound or noise.

This was fossilized into my deepest subconscious that up to this point, I made sure to zip my luscious lips all throughout the day. This also made me terrified that if God is dead, then it connotes that evil spirits and other loathsome creatures wanders the entire planet lurking in the aparador or lying in wait sa ilalim ng kama (under the bed) ready to suck your blood or devour on little children.

Now that I am grown up, what really solidifies my red and while corpuscles is that horrifying monsters need not wait for Good Friday anymore. They ramble and scramble the earth every single day and need not manifest in those horrible appearances like fangs, horns and tails with leathery wings on a bad hair day. Today they wear ordinary clothing like that of a taxi driver, a street dweller or an office worker. They may even be dressed in over-priced suits, drive luxury cars and live in opulent houses. They simply look like everybody else so you can’t identify them on sight.

Aswangs nowadays no longer sap and suck up your blood what they simply want is either: your hard-earned money, your livelihood or your reputation.

Makahulugang Biyernes Santo sa ating lahat…

Slick and Slippery Versions

Posted on March 7, 2011 by heavenliner

Last weekend, my whole family invaded one of the private resorts in Laguna for the extended birthday celebration of Nengkoy. This was the day I ventured in conquering one of my fears, that is, gliding through a wet slide and dropping to a deep water pool at the end. Here are two versions of my story. It would be up to you which one of these stories actually transpired.

Version 1

While stepping up the ladder leading to the top of the slide, I was full of nothing but confidence. I told myself that I need to make a good impression making sure that all my nephews and nieces would ask how I did my fantastic slide acrobat. Reverse three and a half somersaults with two and a half twists. This is the degree of difficulty that I executed when I glided through the 15 feet water slide. While flexing and twisting my body, conscious of what I was doing, I entered smoothly and effortlessly into the water without a single splash of water. When I emerged from the water I was throwing punches in the air knowing I executed a perfect slide. I smiled upon seeing all spectators showing off 10 as a score on their flashcards. The applause reverberates and reached the outer space even the creatures from Mars were alerted and applauded upon knowing that I just executed a flawless slide. The spectators asked me how I felt. I told them that it was just one of those ordinary routines.

Version 2

My knees were shaking when I was ascending the stairs leading to the top of the 15 feet slide. Upon reaching the top I felt nauseated and realized that this may be the end of a magnificently delicious life. I did not know how to sit still and how to settle my legs on top of the slide. It was too slick and slippery. While trying to carefully rest my butt on top of the slide, I suddenly lose my grip and slid without a warning. While sliding through the curved channel I lost my balance, control and concentration. Even my teeth that does not have a single muscle fiber was tightly flexing. Out of fear, I shut my eyes and suddenly lost all hopes of living. The next thing I knew, I plunged into the body of water. I surfaced out of the water while coughing my throat out. Upon gaining consciousness, I noticed that my relatives who witnessed my ridiculous fall were convulsed with laughter and the water in the pool suddenly got half-filled. It is because I drank most of it and some splattered out of its rim during my awful entry into the water. They asked me if I’m okay. I told them I’m fine and laughed so hard after realizing what had just happened.

Basta nadulas este nagpadulas ako. Tapos!

Nengkoy: the Diva Mahjongera

Posted on March 3, 2011 by heavenliner

A lot of research and medical journals claim that playing the ancient Chinese game of mahjong has lots of benefits. Some study shows that this cognitive game that requires sharp memory, notable strategic planning ability, brilliant attention and robust skill in mathematical computation prevents the development of dementia and could even amplify various cognitive measures. It makes you quick-witted, sharp-witted and not dim-witted.

Definitely, mahjong is considered one great social channel for its players (though they consider other players as their opponents) to bond ties among each other as well as the ‘mirons’ (onlookers) who just watch it. It’s a game in which the players’ interrelationships would closely bind which leads to feelings of positive social belongingness and well being.

I consider myself and my siblings to belong to the above average intelligence scale but I cannot remember the time I and my siblings were assisted by Nengkoy to study for a school exam or finish a school-required-homework. However, my memory never fails me to recall the days when Nengkoy would tag us along in her mahjong sessions at the houses of her amigas and compadres in Sta. Ana, Makati during our childhood days.

I clearly remember those days when I would not play with the sons and daughters of her ‘mahjong-mates’. But I would prefer just sitting beside her at one corner of the mahjong table and watch how she do various tactics and strategies among those engraved marble mahjong tiles on the table. And when every time she or an opponent declares ‘todas’ (a win) I would gladly assist her in shuffling and rearranging those tiles to re-start a new game.

At present day, Nengkoy’s amigas may seldom or no longer play it anymore but Nengkoy still does. She now plays it with us, her children and grandchildren. Hilarious yet brain-challenging mahjong games played by the family up to these present days in the house of Nengkoy in Pasay kept the family sane and insane!

I belong to the Romasanta-Langit family and every one of us knows how to play mahjong. It is one of the common flairs that we have. A specimen who claims to belong to the Romasanta-Langit family is a sham if he or she doesn’t know how to play this ancient game.

I and my siblings’ intellectual aptitudes and social acumen may be attributed to our innate genetics but this has been enhanced and honed by Nengkoy’s influences. And one of these great influences is our knowledge and ability to play mahjong. Thanks to Nengkoy, the “diva majongera” who is celebrating her 74^th birthday today, for the unconventional way of sharpening our wit.

Happy Birthday Nanay! Todas! Ol ap, syete pares. Bipor da pip. No plawer, no dyoker…

Made on Valentine’s Day

Posted on February 12, 2011 by heavenliner

According to US study the average length of pregnancy for primigravidae is 288 days and for multigravidae is 283 days. Also, based on a robust study undertaken in Sweden, based on over 400,000 births, the average length of pregnancy is 283 days.

However, in mid-19^th century according to Naegele’s Rule the gestational length of a woman’s pregnancy would only be 280. However, with the more modern time and the advent of Utrasound Scanners, it was found out that the more accurate gestational length is by adding 3 days to the Naegele’s formula, thus a sum of 283 days.

I’m not a medical doctor nor a midwife but utilizing my knowledge on the most primitive mathematical technique called ‘counting’, I found out that the days from February 14 until my birthday (November 24) is equal to 283 days. This only goes to show that the mitotic chromosomal genes of Nengkoy and Joe once again united for me to be conceived on the most romantic day on earth known as Valentine’s Day.

Ikaw kelan ka ginawa?

Devirginized Terminal Phalanges

Posted on February 6, 2011 by heavenliner

Nervousness, agitation and neurasthenia were the general feelings, never in my life that I have experienced it. I always do it to myself and I have never let anybody do it to me until this morning. The question I initially uttered is if it would hurt. I asked because the living soul who would do it to me never uttered a word prior to doing it. I asked because usually like doctors injecting a vial of medicine into my corporal chassis, they would tell me that it would ache a little similar to an ant’s bite.

Nengkoy’s Executive Housekeeper Alma was the one who took the object of my toenail’s innocence and purity. She was the first person ever to do me a pedicure devirginizing the tough dorsal part of my terminal phalanges. Yes, in my 40 years of existence never in my life that I had a pedicure done by another soul. My elder brothers (Kuya Bogis and Kuya Wreigh), my niece Thatcher and Nengkoy were around for moral support while Alma does my toenails.

It took Alma the strength, perseverance and iron-like guts to finish cleaning off my toenails. It was so unkempt she was able to amass boulders of grime, excess keratin and sprouting ragged cuticles. Nengkoy actually wanted to collect it and place it in a pot and plant a tree on it!

After my spectacular pedicure, I actually felt lighter. I think I lost three pounds in the process. Now, my toenails are so gorgeous, I want to bite it!

Sabi ni Nengkoy ang taytel daw dapat ng blag-powst na ito ay LUYA.

Wailing Woman In My Room

Posted on January 26, 2011 by heavenliner

Years ago when I was still living in the humble abode of Nengkoy, I collect CDs of various musical genres from classical Vivaldi to heavy metal rock. Almost every weekend I would troop to a record bar to get me a new CD. One of the CDs that I will never forget buying is the second album released by Paula Cole entitled This Fire. This Fire is an impressive collection of songs. It contains the hit Where Have All The Cowboys Gone; I Don’t Want To Wait the theme song from the hit TV series Dawson’s Creek; and, Feelin’ Love used as one of the soundtracks in City of Angels movie.

During those days every time I play my newly bought CD, I made sure that the volume is blaring. It is so loud that the music could be heard in the outskirts of southern Mindanao.

In the album, the dramatic and poetic track number 6 made me rolling down my bedroom floor from laughter because of Nengkoy’s reaction. The astounding yet underrated song is entitled Nitzsche’s Eyes. Nengkoy upon hearing the last part of the song came nervously running and rushing up the second floor of the house to find out who was the wailing woman in my bedroom. Only to find out that it was just the CD player running.

Here’s the great Nietzsche’s Eyes. I recommend that you turn the volume in full blast to know and appreciate what I’m talking about. Warning: before clicking the arrow, tell your mom first that you are to listen to an amazing song and there should be no cause for alarm.

Ol togeder now!!! — Geting dawn dis! Getting dawn dis! Geting dawn dis!

Nengkoy

ruminations & travesties of the favorite yet naughty son of Nengkoy

Category Archives: nengkoy