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Archive for August, 2010

I was in my 5th grade.  Seated in the middle of the lecture room with my classmates, Ms. Balagot was not in her usual self.  Our grumpy spinster teacher was not scary, hostile and sinister that lovely morning.  Rather, teacher Balagot was smiling and seems excited.  After lecturing a couple of topics, she suddenly pulled out a big and heavy hardbound copy of a new book she personally brought from her home to school. The manuscript, covered in plastic was not the usual reference textbook but a brand new copy of a book featuring a lot of lustrous photos that she impatiently showed us.

The pictures she showed to our class featured a young beautiful bride dressed in what seem to be the longest bridal train trailing behind her gown.  She got a sparkling tiara on top of her head and was beaming with the most beautiful smile.  Teacher Balagot explained that the gorgeous lady in the pictures got married to an eloquent prince and will be the future queen.  Teacher Balagot showed every picture in the book stating the names of every royalty persons in each picture.  She pointed her finger to an old lady explaining that she is the present queen and is the mother of the groom.  She presented the pictures of the newly-wed couple riding behind their wedding wagon waving back to thousands of spectators in the street awaiting their carriage to pass by them.  Teacher Balagot after closing the glossy book further explained that the bride was the first common Englishwoman for 300 years to marry an heir to the throne.

This is my first vivid memory of Diana Spencer the Princess of Wales and people’s Queen of Hearts who died exactly thirteen years ago.

Si Ms. Balagot kaya, nasaan na?

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It has been less than 24 hours but multitudes of people have been judging, mocking or are still in the process of making fun on the answer given by Ms. Philippines to the question asked by one of the judges in the recently concluded Ms. Universe 2010.  I personally believed that she was thrown with the toughest question.

But if you are to fully analyze the question “What is one big mistake in your life? And what did you do to make it right?” it’s like demanding the candidate in front of jillions of people at the arena and viewers around the world to reveal and confess one huge personal blunder that she has done.  Now, if you are Ms. Philippines, would you reveal it?  Would you have the guts to uncover it?  Would you dare make it public? I’m pretty sure you won’t!

That is why those who had an abortion; those who are drug or alcohol addicted; those who had pre-marital sex; those who are secretly married; those who had sex with their boyfriend or girlfriend’s best friend; those who are cheats and thieves; those who silently farted and made a public uproar out from the released stink-bomb; those who had an episode of violating God’s Ten Commandments; and those who had any form of booboo who has kept it in themselves and refused to reveal it, you actually have no right whatsoever to poke fun at the answer given by the 4th Runner Up of this year’s Ms. Universe Pageant!

For those who consider themselves to be an open-book and does not seem to keep a secret blooper and would proudly raise that they could have answered the question better, my only advice to you is to join first the local pageant here in the Philippines (Binibining Pilipinas) and see for yourself if you can actually land the top plum of the contest to represent our country in the next Ms. Universe.  I’m fairly sure you’re not even qualified to join Binibining Pilipinas!

Now let me personally analyze the answer given by Ms. Philippines. With gentle grace and respect exhibited by Ms. Philippines to the not-so-respectable judge who asked her, she responded “In my 22 years of existence, I can say there is nothing major (major) problem that I have done because I am very confident with my family with the love that they are giving to me.”  It’s like saying “It’s none of your damn business, Mr. Baldwin! And I refuse to answer such a half-witted private question in front of this considerable number of people!” Thus, it’s a case of giving a stupid answer to a stupid question.  At least she was stunningly graceful and incredibly tactful!

With these analyses I therefore conclude that Ms. Philippines did a great job during the Q&A.  Congratulations!

World Pis sa ebri wan…

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With today’s commemoration on the death anniversary of Ninoy Aquino Sr., the incredible modern day Filipino hero, have you ever wondered what if Ninoy did not decide to come home to the Philippines exactly 27 years ago?  What if Ninoy chose to stay in the US, enjoy the Boston hospitality and settle for a more peaceful life with his family on American soil?

These are some of my freaking thoughts…

  1. The image of Ferdinand Marcos is on the Philippine 500 peso bill;
  2. MIA (Manila International Airport) would have not been changed to NAIA but will remain MIA but with a different denotation, i.e. Marcos International Airport
  3. Cory would have not been the 11th president of the republic but Imelda
  4. Pido Dida movie starring the late Rene Requiestas and Kris would have not been a blockbuster
  5. Noynoy would have not been the 15th president of the republic but Bong Bong
  6. Imee would be the partner host of Boy Abunda in The Buzz and the she is the present host of Pilipinas Win Na Win
  7. Cager James Yap would not be in a whirlwind situation right now and should be enjoying a life with his son whose mother is not the self-absorbed Kris
  8. Imee would have been the Queen of All Media but not the tactless, conniving and calculative kind who would do anything just to stay in the spotlight
  9. The great, crucial and momentous People Power is a non-existent type of revolution in this country
  10. I would have not been writing this blog

Ano nga kaya?

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Five days before its worldwide release, I barged in at the metro’s most popular bookstore and tried my luck to inquire if Mockingjay is already available.  It is not in store yet but I was surprised to know that the ubiquitous book house is already accepting reservations at a price of two hundred pesos.  By paying the considerable price, I assured myself of getting my copy on the day of the release.  It made certain that Mockingjay will definitely fly and land on my arms.

Like my nephews and nieces I am very excited for the release of Mockingjay, the final book of the epic trilogy of The Hunger Games written by Suzanne Collins.  I am freaking excited to know what will happen to Katniss, Gale and Peeta.  I am more than eager to discover about District 12 and how will the angry Capitol plot and stage its revenge to “the girl on fire”.  That is why the world can’t end yet on August 24 because I have to finish reading Mockingjay first before it should happen!

Freakin’ few days to go and the long wait is over.  I know it is ridiculous, but I want a happy ending.  Not like wack jack uber-happy, of course.  I just want to finish this amazing trilogy humming and skipping around the house rather than lying around depressed wondering what went wrong.  Call me weird but I’m not going to make any predictions.  All I can say without bias is that the ending I hope will not be all walking in a field of flowers.

Salamat at dadapo na ang Mockingjay!!!

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Make A Wish!

I wish everyone have a job.

I wish everyone knows how to read.

I wish there is cure for every disease.

I wish there is better stuff on TV.

I wish hate was a thing of the past.

I wish LOVE for all.

I wish for your wish to come true.

I wish we didn’t need wishes…

Ikaw ano wish mo?

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Being an alumnus, I was saddened to learn from the grapevine that the present officers of Manila Doctors College have plans of changing the name of the school.  According to the outrageous rumor, the executives are contemplating on changing the name because the degree courses to be added are not going to be “health related” anymore.

If the gossip is true, I don’t know what in the world were the present high and mighty magistrates of MDC are thinking that the word ”doctor” is a word only related and limited to health.  According to Wikipedia, the word doctor is a title that is accorded to someone who has received a doctorate degree.  It is a textbook case that a doctorate degree is conferred to persons not only in the health-related field, these MDC chieftains themselves maybe Doctors of Education or Theology which may not in any way be related to the medical field.

Dr. Valentina Vrandakapoor, my favorite doctor is not even a physician.  Dr. Valentina, the Queen of the Reptiles and the most notorious nemesis of Darna earned her PhD in Reptilian Zoology!

A co-alumnus upon learning about the buzz even suggested that graduates from MDC create a united body to air its concern of not changing the school’s name otherwise all hell breaks loose.  I in contrary suggested that we might as well recommend a new possible name of Manila Doctors College in which the acronym MDC should remain.  This will at least warrant the new name to still start with the M, D and C acrostics.  I was even willing to treat a dinner to the person with the best name suggestion.  Here are some of my twisted name entries:

  • Manila Dementia College
  • Madyohong Dyutay College
  • Matudnila Dudung College
  • Mahal Dito College
  • Mashonget Ditey College
  • Mahalia Dyakson College
  • Manila Dyologs College

Here are Karen Batangan’s mind-boggling suggestions:

  • Mukang Datung College
  • Magiging Dukhang College
  • Mega Dyologs College
  • Moron Doon College
  • Makakating Datan College
  • Meganung Dakuykuy College
  • Mwahahaha Dahaaaakk College!

Totoo kaya ang tsismis?  Si Doctor Love nga hindi naman pisishan pero doctor…

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I disagree that Balagtasan – the Filipino art of publicly arguing in extemporaneous, scaled and rhymed poetry manner – is dead!  There is a new form of modern day Pinoy poetry emerging nowadays called FlipTop (Filipino Rap Battle League).  The partakers are young street-smart dudes who can be considered geniuses in the contemporary Filipino language.

It is similar to Balagtasan in which the participants compete in a free-flowing articulation of rhyming thoughts.  The extemporaneous verbalization is in “rap” form without the music which is so mind-blowing I admit that I personally will have difficulty doing such. Instead of calling themselves master poets they consider themselves Master Rappers.  The free-style rap battle is also being mediated by a moderator similar to Balagtasan’s Lakandiwa.

The challengers’ unscripted choice of words can be very rude, vulgar and screechingly obscene yet their performance is a cross between histrionic art and indigenous oral tradition of poetry they can make the audience enjoy the flavor of rhyme, brainpower and humor.  But unlike the Balagtasan in which the poet who received the loudest applause from the audience wins, the winner is determined by selected judges based on the challenger’s verbal flair, brilliant wisecracks and dynamite cleverness.  Here’s a mind-blowing example on how these reincarnated makata do it…

Shet! Ang lupet!!!

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Nengkoy is the nickname of my mom during her pre-school years. Her parents and relatives call her ‘Ang Neneng Ko’. With her pretty charm and appeal, she was usually called in a melodic way using this lovely phrase. Until it evolved for easier articulation of the phrase, Ang Neneng Ko was shorten to Nengkoy.

Nengkoy

Nengkoy is the nickname of my mom during her pre-school years. Her parents and relatives call her ‘Ang Neneng Ko’. With her pretty charm and appeal, she was usually called in a melodic way using this lovely phrase. Until it evolved for easier articulation of the phrase, Ang Neneng Ko was shorten to Nengkoy.