Month: May 2009

Tons of Thonz

It was a boring Saturday for it was my usual household chore day.  It was a nothing-special day until I was sent a text message by my officemate informing me to proceed right away to the Grand Ballroom of Century Park Hotel for it was soon to be our company’s entry to perform at the National Bartending Competition.

In my slippers, a simple shirt and jeans, I crossed the street to proceed to the said venue.  When I arrived I learned that the second half of the 23 participants has yet to perform.  Waiting for our entry’s turn, I watched the other bartenders perform in curious attention that even made my day more boring.

However, the phase of the day suddenly changed when Thonz Viola, our bartender appeared on stage and did his performance stuff.  I was literally controlling myself from screaminmg for it is not allowed to cheer in the middle of the performance otherwise Thonz will be disqualified.  He ended the performance with much elegance, charm and precision.  All eyes in the audience were stuck on watching the handsome routine as if Thonz possess talismanic powers that seem to have hypnotized everyone.

The phase of my day even peaked higher when Thonz was announced as the third place winner and is officially part of the 3-man Philippine Team for the upcoming ASEAN Bartending Competition.  This was the moment when all the pent-up energy that I and my colleagues have been trying to control all the while was released by applauding, shouting approval and cheering to much elation for Thonz.

Congratulations to Ms. Grace Villadolid and Mr. Bernie Bonoan who coached and gave all efforts to train and support Thonz.  Of course, all praises for Thonz who brought joy, pride and honor to me and my colleagues.

Under the beautiful ray of summer sunshine, I went home elated, happy and smiling.  I was so happy I was able to clean my bathroom later in the afternoon without grumble and apprehension.

Galing! Galing!

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Celia: of the Heavens…

Celia is a female name of Latin origin.  It is from the Latin word “caelum” meaning heaven.  It is also believed to be from the Latin word “Caelia”, the feminine form of the old Roman clan name “Caelius” meaning heavenly or “of the Heavens”.

According to the internet, the name Celia was seldom used during the medieval ages and was only first introduced and popularized to the English-speaking population via literature.  Thanks to Shakespeare who named one of the characters as Celia in his play “As You Like It”.

In the United States, the name Celia was at its most popular during the 1850’s when it ranked 84th most popular name for a baby girl.  In 2004, it was the 23rd most popular name in France.  In Spain, it was the 35th most popular name in 2006.  Again in the United Sates, it ranked as the 783rd most popular girl’s name in 2007.

In the Philippines, the most popular woman named Celia is of course Celia Rodriguez, the actress with husky voice and big bulging eyes best known for her classic kontrabida (villain) role as Dr. Valentina Vrandakapoor, ang babaing ahas (snake-lady) with PhD in Reptilian Zoology in the movie “Lipad, Darna Lipad!” during the ’70s.

In numerology, Celia is equivalent to “3” meaning optimistic, easy-going, sociable and humorous.

As a form of calamity, Celia is a retired name for Atlantic hurricane, meaning it is no longer being re-used.  It was retired after Hurricane Celia, a category 3 hurricane damaged Cuba and Texas in 1970.

As a mainstream popular animated movie, Celia is Mike’s girlfriend-receptionist in the movie Monsters Inc.  She is the character who is also in charge of announcing the new monster that takes the position of Top Scarer.

Celia is the real given name of Nengkoy.  Only during my short research did I know that my mother’s first and last names if translated both in English would exactly mean the same.  Celia, a Latin-originated word meaning “heaven” and Langit (her surname) a Tagalog-Malay word also meaning “heaven”.  Thus, in English-speaking world, Nengkoy’s name would be Heaven Heaven.

Being mother’s day today, I will not characterize Nengkoy for now… because its all in the name…

Yan ang Nanay ko! Happy Mother’s Day Nanay!

Cinematic Lines of a Double-Bitch

Boba, idiota, tonta, double-bitch and puta ka! These are some of the uttered words of my favorite character from the movie Temptation Island.  Yes!  I still couldn’t get through this spectacular film.  So let me write another article about it.

Suzanne Reyes played by Jennifer Cortez is my favorite character in the movie.  She is the rich spoiled brat and demanding socialite in the movie being attended by Maria, the oppressed and downtrodden yaya (maid).

Suzanne in the movie is the only creature who had bitchy and hilarious catfights with all the other lady characters.  Mind you, the catfights are held in different venues and of various modes.  She had sabunutan (hair-pulling fight) with Azenith Briones on a shallow sea bed.  She had sampalan (face-slapping fight) with Bambi Arambulo right on the desert sand.  She had patpat-ala-arnis upakan (stick-weapon fight) with Dina Bonnievie inside a dry lifeless jungle.

She has gentle ways of speaking, yet words coming out from her mouth are mean, unapologetic and oppressive – a true epitome of a bitch without mercy.

Among the four finalist characters of Miss Manila Sunshine pageant in the movie, she has kept her cool and still tried to maintain and be conscious of her looks even in the midst of being trapped in a desert island without food and without fresh drinking water.  She would ask her yaya if she is still beautiful, she would still put on make-up and suntan lotion and bathe under the sun to keep her beautiful youthful complexion and she would even bother wearing her silk scarf coupled with shades in the middle of a barren lifeless landscape with no salvation in sight.

I also loved the way she projects her face and body in front of the camera.  It definitely added to the ultimate hilarious campiness of the movie.  She totally gave a new meaning to the word “chin-up”.  Because the way she raises her chin to project her provocative beauty is so high it is already literally horizontal to her flat nose and short forehead.

But the ultimate reason why I love her among all characters trapped in a desert island are the lines the scriptwriter and director have assigned her.  The words coming out from her mouth and the way she delivered it are mind-boggling!  Here are some of the lines she uttered in the movie…

  • Sabihin mo kay Vicente na ihanda ang Mercedes na charcoal gray… Mas gusto ko yatang magpahatid, para I can leave anytime I want.  Late entrance, early exit.  ‘Yan ang dramatic!”
  • “As I was saying, this is a bright sunny day.  A day in the light of the sun’s rays.  This is how I begin my day.  An hour of tender loving care in the eight o’clock sunshine! ‘Yan ang sikreto ng aking youthful complexion.  Parang nasa tabi lang tayo ng swimming pool.”
  • Hay… kagabi, compose na compose ang byuti ko.  Ngayon nagdi-decompose na.”
  • “So what’s new?  Everybody needs a shipwreck ones in a while.”
  • “Ang lalakas naman kasi ng loob nyong sumali eh hindi naman kayo magaganda.
  • Maria, hwag kang tonta! Pantyhose, panghuhuli mo ng isda?!”
  • Mag-alis kayo ng panty kung gusto ninyo.  But my panty stays right where it is!”
  • Wala akong carpenter-complex, so I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
  • Maria… sabihin mo nga sa akin, maganda pa ba ako?”

My top-3 favorites lines are…

  • Ay nako, I have no time for middle-class sentiments.”
  • “Maria, pakikuha mo nga ang make-up kit ko sa kabilang bundok, nakalimutan ko eh.
  • “What are bitches for? But to bitch around with fellow bitches.”

Idol ko si Suzanne Reyes.  O, laban ka?!

Beautiful Disaster

A lot has been written about the 1980 Pinoy movie entitled Temptation Island.  Some has considered it as one of the greatest Pinoy masterpieces.  Others say that it is a moving cinematic experience.  A lot declares it as the campiest most hilarious Filipino movie ever made.  But others commented on it as a crazy-awful movie.

I am not a film critic and I don’t consider myself as the last authority on movie reviews but after seeing the movie for the second time, all I can say is that the movie has gone beyond the word “worst”.  But I’m saying it not on a negative note but rather as a compliment.  The movie was so bad that it has crossed the bundaries of “negative border” (meaning the negative of all negatives).  Thus, it can therefore be considered an excellent work of art.  The movie was so criminally stupid it is no longer irritating but insanely entertaining.  The movie was so preposterously funny even without the intention of being humorous.

As a piece of advice before watching the movie – for those who has not seen it – don’t take the movie seriously otherwise you will miss the point of its being a great film.

There is no dull moment in the movie.  I don’t want to pick out my favorite scene for I love all the scenes.  I love the twisted humor since I believe the director intended it to be a serious flick but came out so campy and funny.  I love the cheap special effects and technical faults for it added to the unquantifiable laughter I exhibited while watching the film.  I love the appalling and without-mercy overacting performances of the lead actresses.  I love the stimulating and utterly ridiculous lines the actors and actresses throw on each other.  For me, the written script and lines spoken and how these were spoken by the characters in the film made the movie a “classic”.

Temptation Island is pure unadulterated fun.  The film is such a magnificent disaster it is definitely a Pinoy movie masterpiece.

Salamat kay Kuki Catindig sa pagpapahiram ng VCD copy.

System Failure

Schools’ vacation season has barely a month to go.  It has been a couple of weeks that wallets and purses of persevering parents has been on rest period.  However, expensive payment on school fees and “baon” will soon be reactivated.  Stop gaps are now being undertaken by socially-aware students not to allow increase in their fees for the upcoming school year by picketing onto the streets in front of the country’s education agencies.  What is so notable is that these youths who opted to bring their concern to the streets are without the support of the street parliamentary nuns and priests.

The only academic scheme Pinoys get hold of is public education.  The Church, the concrete and somewhat tangible supposed powers from Heaven has failed to act as a key figure of good basic education essential to Pinoy society.  It is so apparent that its inclination is for its own business enterprise by establishing and carrying out high-priced private education called Catholic school.

Though it is non-government institution, the so called Catholic schools mostly cater to the nation’s economic elite.  Catholic educators promote that they are in-charge of shaping the moral backbone of the next generation but this obviously has become very selective.  The cost of Catholic school education is so unreasonably pricey Pinoy families of the lower income bracket (which is the majority of the population) obviously cannot afford.

Aside from boosting on youth’s partaking on the sacramental life of a Catholic and study religion, its one societal advocary – since they’re into education business – is to improve the educational system in the country.  However, being one of the most powerful systems in Pinoy psyche they seem concentrated on watching over the beautification of its own little chapels in their respective campuses and busy scheduling the  next “retreat” of their blue-blooded students either in Tagaytay or in Baguio.

It can therefore be deduced that the Catholic Church even contributes to the sustenance in the gap between the rich and the poor of society.  The rich continues to be richly trained and the poor remains to be poorly educated.

Another irony about these schools is that it does not necessitate to be a Catholic in religion before a soul can enroll or study.  However, possesion of bazillions of pesos is absolutely a requirement no matter if your religion is Saksi Ni Batman.

“Keyr ko!” sabi ni monsignor.  Hala magagalit si Archbishop nito!