Month: December 2006

My Last Fait Accompli for 2006

A new hair cut on New Year according to Chinese tradition will bring good luck. This will cut away the troubles, messed-up problems and bad nuances from last year.

Neil2_1 That is why, at around six thirty in the afternoon on the last day of 2006, I dragged by delicious body to SM Mall of Asia to have a hair cut.  I went straight to the hair salons lined up at the second floor but no shop would allow me anymore since according to them they’re already close.

Until I entered David Salon and zealously asked the receptionist if they can still accommodate the filamentous projections coming out of my scalp.  Voila!  They did accommodate me!  At the end of the day, all other customers have settled their bill and all staffs of the salon are hurrying to clean up the shop but I was still inside.  After my hair was styled, I told the courteous stylist that I am actually their last customer for 2006.

This is the last feat I had with year 2006, being the last customer of David’s Salon SM Mall of Asia for 2006.

Sa may buhok man o wala, Happy New Year!

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My Father’s Christmas Gift to Nengkoy

My father died in May 1999.  But even though he’s no longer around I still receive messages from him.  These messages are simple yet meaningful which he wants to relay either to Nengkoy (my mom) to me or to my brothers and sisters. I receive these messages while asleep in my dreams.

Nengkoy_2  Last December 23 through a dream, I received another message from Tatay Jo.  It was his Christmas gift to Nengkoy.  I dreamt my old man singing a love song to Nengkoy.  Tatay Jo was sitting on a wooden bench in his usual sando and shorts “pambahay” attire smiling, laughing and singing.

Of course, in the afternoon of December 24 in my parents’ house while bonding with my sibs and my monster pamangkins (translation: nephews and nieces) waiting for the Christmas Eve, I relayed Tatay’s gift to Nengkoy.  Ang haba ng hair mo Nanay huh!

A Gift for Santa Claus

Santa For a change I will be the one to give Santa Claus a gift!  For being so naughty this year I am saving him a trip to my house.  I know his going to be so tired coming Christmas Eve since there has been a lot of mortals who has been so nice.  With billions of people expecting gift from Santa all over the world he will be mega busy and will be worn-out, drained and dead-beaten.

Time One proof that people has been so nice this year was Time Magazine’s decision to choose everyone (yes everybody!) to be the “Person of the Year”.  To those who don’t know it yet, YOU are Time Magazine’s Person of the Year.  Congratulations to all of us!

What about you? What’s your gift for Santa? Let me give 3 good suggestions…

1.  Santa for sure will love a whole body massage!  After carrying those back breaking load of gifts, he can have a relaxing day on December 26, the day when everybody is enjoying the gifts that they have received

2.  Santa needs to have a facial.  His face for sure will be full of dirt after getting in through the chimney of every house around the world.  There might be no chimney in the houses in the Philippines but with the dark polluted air in Metro Manila his skin pores will surely be clogged.

Shirt2_23.  With his classic beer belly look a cool shirt with a print saying "No, I’m not pregnant" will be perfect!

Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!

Putting Vina’s Muscle into Good Use

Vina Vina Morales, the Pinay singer whose body form has been ostracized and ridiculed by Pinoys for being too muscular for a lady is in the news.  Well, Vina must have felt that one day she will be using her well toned muscles in good use.  All those days spent in the gym has finally paid off.  Indeed she did!

I never knew that Vina Morales could be so feisty.  It was bravura news when I learned that she whacked the face of Borgy Monotoc (model, politician-to-be, grandson of Imelda Marcos) days after revealing in a live radio interview that he had a one night stand with androgenous Vina.  Resulting for his lips to bleed! Mwahahaha!

Borgy deserve it for having such a big mouth literally and figuratively.  Umuwing duguan ang mokong!  As for Vina, I think this was the best performance of her life.  Bravo Vina bravo!

Jeepney Best Seats

Sign_2 With my more than 30 years of existence living a life in the Philippines, I do not recall a moment when the jeepney fare has gone down.  At present, minimum fare is pegged at seven pesos and fifty centavos (Php7.50).  But come Monday, December 11, 2006 the jeepney fare will rollback to Php7.00.

This good news enthuse me to take a jeepney ride on Monday when going to the office to validate if the report is factual and to test if the driver will go bonkers when I hand over my seven-peso payment.   

At this early point in time, I am trying to consider where is the best place to sit when taking this exciting ride.  Two spots easily entered my loony brain.  The back most seats and the one right in front (not in the middle beside the driver but the one on the leftmost portion).

Common obvious reasons for these two seat areas are:

  1. You can get into the vehicle with no trouble of slamming into other passengers’ knees while moving inside in an awkward posture
  2. You can have a 180 degree peripheral vision of the sights outside the jeepney
  3. You can easily alight from the vehicle when you reach your destination
  4. When there is a holdup situation, you can jump out in a jiffy and spare yourself from losing your money and your cellphone. (Never mind the plastic cards in the wallet since you can easily block them by immediately calling the bank/s.  I will also not mind losing my pictures in my wallet, since I can always cut those out from fashion magazines.  Joke!)
  5. You will be the least victim of smelling the gas of other passengers who relieved themselves from flatulence! Thus, there’s no need to shout, “Sino umutot?!”

Other reasons for selecting the backmost seat:

  1. It’s a custom for commuters when seated in the middle or inner most portions to assist the driver in handling over payments of passengers seated on the backmost spots.  Thus, you need not have to bother passing other’s money/fare to the driver.
  2. You would not suffer from smelling the stench emanating from the driver’s or co-passenger’s kilikili (translation: underarm)

Other reasons for selecting the seat in front (a seat away from the driver):

  1. You can easily handover your pamasahe (translation: jeepney fare) to manong driver
  2. Jeepney’s side mirror is right in front of you! Instead of looking into the sullied, grubby and polluted metropolis, you can always look into the mirror and check your face out.  (It always gives me a good laugh when I see passengers busy looking into the side mirror and would check their teeth out or would pluck out their nose hairs!)

Pinoy’s Commendable Gender Gap

Sign_1 Philippines did a great job!  The World Economic Forum recently identified the Philippines being the top 6 among 115 countries to have the smallest gender gap.  This means that our country’s hoi polloi – male and female – seem to have an equal standing in society compared to other nationalities.  Our stupendous country is the only Asian country to have made it in the top 10.

The size of the “gender gap” study was based on educational attainment, access to high-skilled employment, political empowerment, life expectancy and level of salary among others.

Here’s a bunch of my zany personal suspicions why we were included in the top:

  1. Our president – though a midget – is female.
  2. A stupid British Dictionary in mid-1990’s defined Filipina as “domestic helper”
  3. In 2004 Asian Development Bank study shows that 65% of OFWs are women
  4. The Bar exam topnotcher for 2004 and 2005 were female
  5. According to 2000 census, there’s more loony dudes than dudettes
  6. In every Pinoy showbiz awards night people would franticly wait for the announcement of the best actress award and would not care who won best actor
  7. Pinoy Superstar, Megastar, Diamond Star, Star for All Seasons are all female
  8. All Pinoy Big Brother winners were female (Nene, Kim and Keanna)
  9. Or maybe, general portion of this generation’s male population of the nation is simply stupid!

Kudos to all folks!