Month: January 2011

Alienating Senator with Alienated Bill

While surfing the internet, I happen to chance upon the website of the 15th Congress of the Senate of the Philippines.  While surfing the Senate’s website, I stumbled onto one of the most bizarre bills ever filed!  It is so debauched I got so stunned and astounded.

Senate bill 2639 authored by the ever ‘brilliant’ Senator Lito Lapid was filed just last Tuesday, January 18, 2011.  The bill seeks to require all signs, signboards or billboards written in foreign language other than English and Filipino to bear corresponding English or Filipino translation.

As its “dazzling” basis, foreign languages alienate the Filipinos in their own country.  He further explains in his bill that, “it is incumbent upon the State to instill and maintain a sense of nationalism among dwellers living within its jurisdiction, whether they are Filipinos or migrants.   We, as Filipinos, should never be subjected to the alienation and seclusion that we are experiencing due to this phenomenon.”

Let me tickle your fancy and fantasy in case this bizarre bill is passed into a law.  Here are some possible translations of popular restaurant establishments in the metro:

  • Je Suis Gourmand (French restaurant in Bonifacio Global City) =Ako Ay Gutom Restawran
  • Le Souffle (French Restaurant in Bagtikan, San Antonio Makati) = Ang Binate at Hinornong Puti ng Itlog Restawran
  • Omakase (Japanese Restaurant in Libis) = Bahala Ka Sa Buhay Mo Kainan
  • Taj (Indian Restaurant in Tagaytay) = Saplot sa Ulo na Hugis Apa Restawran
  • Bellini’s (Italian Restaurant in Cubao) = Restawran ni Manong Belini

Worse would be the restaurants that bear Korean characters now breeding the vicinities of Malate and Ermita.  And can you just imagine the changes needed to me made in the confusing yet eye-catching Chinese calligraphy characters on the signboards found in the streets of Binondo and Ongpin?

Now, in the event this dim-witted bill is passed as an official decree, there are two questions I would like to ask:  “Who then is alienating?” and, “Who now is alienated?”

Itong si Lapid di naman komedyante, nagbibiro. Sats a weyst of speys!


Wailing Woman In My Room

Years ago when I was still living in the humble abode of Nengkoy, I collect CDs of various musical genres from classical Vivaldi to heavy metal rock.  Almost every weekend I would troop to a record bar to get me a new CD.  One of the CDs that I will never forget buying is the second album released by Paula Cole entitled This Fire.  This Fire is an impressive collection of songs.  It contains the hit Where Have All The Cowboys Gone; I Don’t Want To Wait the theme song from the hit TV series Dawson’s Creek; and, Feelin’ Love used as one of the soundtracks in City of Angels movie.

During those days every time I play my newly bought CD, I made sure that the volume is blaring.  It is so loud that the music could be heard in the outskirts of southern Mindanao.

In the album, the dramatic and poetic track number 6 made me rolling down my bedroom floor from laughter because of Nengkoy’s reaction.  The astounding yet underrated song is entitled Nitzsche’s Eyes.  Nengkoy upon hearing the last part of the song came nervously running and rushing up the second floor of the house to find out who was the wailing woman in my bedroom.  Only to find out that it was just the CD player running.

Here’s the great Nietzsche’s Eyes.  I recommend that you turn the volume in full blast to know and appreciate what I’m talking about.  Warning: before clicking the arrow, tell your mom first that you are to listen to an amazing song and there should be no cause for alarm.

Ol togeder now!!! — Geting dawn dis! Getting dawn dis! Geting dawn dis!

Spending 508 Minutes With Modern Family

Spending 508 minutes with the Modern Family was nothing but a fun filled roller coaster ride.  The Modern Family should not be the kind of family one should have because they are absurdly nutty.  It should be the kind of family one should have because they are genuinely human.

Spending a majority of my weekend with this extended family was a blast.  They are loaded, robust and hilarious.  They made me roll in laughter, emotionally cry, hysterically laugh, heavily amazed and feel good.  Did I already say they made me laugh?!

Yeah, after watching a marathon DVD of Season 1 of Modern Family, I tried my best to pick one or two characters that I particularly like but I can’t seem to do it.  I can’t seem to select one because everybody is just so funny and endearing (and that includes adorable Lili, the Vietnamese-born baby, who has yet to utter a line in the show). Each character has facets that you want to root for and you realize elements of your own family in them.

One thing I don’t like about this family is that they made me sad.  They made me sad because I want more!  (I can’t wait for my next DVD 2nd season marathon) And anyone who doesn’t like this show does not have a sense of humor.  There is something for everyone in this hilarious show so watch it!  It will definitely touch you while making you laugh.

Masaya siguro ang perpektong pamilya pero mas masaya ang modern pamili.

Bird Crap

bird poop

I’ve been living in the concrete jungle of Metro Manila for the past four decades and never in my life that I have encountered such destiny of being pooped-on by a flying bird.  I only stayed for four short days in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia but it was the first time ever that a bird’s poop landed on my body.

One most likely explanation is because there are more birds in Malaysia as compared to Metro Manila.  This is because birds in the wild in Metro Manila usually end up either as an adobo (Filipino-style stew) on the dining table of ordinary Pinoy household or hepatitis-inclined inihaw (grilled) for sale by street hawkers.

There is a foolish irrational belief that a person getting crapped on by a bird will result to good luck.  My two cents on this is maybe because there is a very small statistics of mortals being pooped-on by these feathered creatures similar to the statistics of individuals winning the lottery.  Or maybe this horrible circumstance that is hypothesized to lead to impending godsend providence could be correlated to life’s general law of balance, harmony and equilibrium.  That one cannot have successes without failures or gains without hardships.

Now on my part, I am just but excited on what lies ahead…

Magpapasalamat akong tiyak sa tatcheng yon!

A Purple Shaded Week

Everybody create their own private challenges may it be a completion of a 5-day miracle diet, a tour around the word in 80 days, a 9-day St. Jude novena prayer or 7–day detoxification program.  Some succeed, others do not.  And oftentimes, these challenges (which some consider as a personal devotion or self-sacrifice) are aimed at achieving something in the end.  It could be a sexier and leaner body, a silky smoother skin or a fulfillment of an impossible wish.

Prior to the start of this present week, I crafted my own personal challenge but without any particular aim in the end.  I decided to wear clothes in shades of purple for 7 consecutive days.  Purple is not my most favorite color but I believe in the statement once uttered by Coco Channel, i.e. ““The best color in the world is the one that looks good on you”.

And as a witness, I secretly told one of my colleagues in my office (Executive Sous Chef Onille Pitogo).  Yes, from Monday ‘till Sunday, I decided to wear clothing with a shade of either: mauve, lilac, violet, lavender or aubergine.  And since it is already a Saturday, I am most likely to succeed. Here’s my proof (of purchase)

Walang basagan ng trip.  Parang gusto ko ng tortang talong at ube halaya mamayang hapunan…










saturday (this is what i'm only wearing while writing this post)
sunday (this is what i will wear tomorrow)

Bababa ba?

Filipino language particularly Tagalog is considered unique.  This is the only language that I know of in which two persons can converse using only two letters in the alphabet in multiple syllables.  Here are some wicked samples that I was able squeeze out from my crazy brain…


Sing Lek Lek Thee Riak Wa Ruk

Though all movies shown in the Philippines for the last two weeks of 2010 are all Filipino-made (due to the Metro Manila Film Festival) and every citizen has flocked the movie houses, I have yet to watch one.

And since I seem to belong to the odd segment of humanity that always made me wonder what parallel in the universe am I in, the last film that I was able to watch last year was neither a Filipino nor a Hollywood movie. It’s Thai! The movie is entitled Sing Lek Lek Thee Riak Wa Ruk starring Mario Maurer and Pimchanok Luewisedpaibon.

It’s a feel good comedy film about a schoolgirl’s undying crush towards a campus heartthrob.  The characters were so effective and the mesmerizing “kilig” (giddy fuzzy feeling) factor was so pure.  They were loads of endearing charm and cuteness presented in multiple solid laughs.  But what made it so wacky was because of the supporting role played by Sudarat “Tukky” Butprom.  Tukky as the English Teacher was so hilarious.  I wanted her to be always on the screen as the story progress for she was a BLAST!

The movie also deals about genuine friendship, youth’s struggle to look good and feel good, youthful fun and life’s simplicity. It’s pure entertainment full of unadulterated charm that is hard to resist.  It will make you truly realize that sometimes the simple unfussy entertainment is the one that comes off best.

In a more serious note, it is about life’s struggle to be better anchored on undying love and (pronouncing like how Tukky pronounced it in the movie…) INSPIRATION.

If I only have enough bucks and have the right connections, I am all but willing to produce the Philippine release of this movie.  I will not remake it to be played by Pinoy thespians but release it like it is.  I’m sure it will be a big hit!

Imadyin, tong tanda kong ‘to.  Kinikilig pa pala.  Mwahahaha! *evil laugh*