Category Archives: people

There Must Be Something In The Water

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Aside from having its distinct language, the Filipinos are so unique in living its life as compared to other dwellers of this planet.

  1. Except for the feathers, we practically eat every part of the chicken: helmet (the head), leeg (neck), balunbalunan (gizzard); betamaks ( coagulated blood), isaw (intestines), adidas (feet).
  2.  We enjoy sipping softdrinks through a plastic straw contained in a cellophane as poured and transferred from the original bottle.
  3. We eat fresh pineapples dipped into bagoong (hot and salty sauted shrimp paste)
  4. Practically almost all Pinoys have cellphones; have access to the internet; can ride airconditioned trains, buses and taxis; can have electronic bank transactions; got 24/7 convenience stores; can obtain cheap airline tickets; etc. but we have yet to hear a Pinoy being interviewed on TV admitting that life is better now than a couple of years ago.
  5. A dramatic movie is no good without the sampalan (face-slapping) scene.
  6. We have the habit of interchanging “I” and “O” to “E” and “U” respectively.  (Examples are those dirty writings on the walls of Manila: Potang Ena Mu, Bawal umehi detu! May Molta!!!)
  7. Our spaghetti’s main ingredient is hot dog and sweet banana ketchup.
  8. Shoppers cannot see the naked toes of the sales ladies though they are required wear open-toed shoes because of the stockings they are wearing.
  9. We have the inclination of adding the letter H in our name (Example: from “Berting” to “Vherto” or “Gemma” to Ghemmah”)
  10. Everybody would not want to take the last piece of food on the serving plate.  Thinking that it is so un-cool and a sign of poverty stricken life otherwise known as being “dead-hungry” (patay-gutom).
  11. Foot-bridges are practically of no use but lodging areas of solvent-intoxicated souls.
  12. We have the liking for sweat excretions being printed on our vehicles — Katas ng Saudi; Katas ng Dubai; Katas ng Oman
  13. We know that bribery is a norm and it is uncomplicated to deal with a fixer than a legitimate but pain-in-the-butt public servant.
  14. Though we do not have winter but male celebrities in live variety shows on TV are always wearing jacket even if it is swelteringly hot and humid!
  15. We often witness that the streets are sometimes transformed into makeshift memorial chapels or funeral parlors.
  16. We hate other nations when we Filipinos are being discriminated abroad but we are incautious when we call a black man “Negro” or a  no-show fellow as “nang-Indian” or a mortal with body odor being “Amoy Bombay”.

Walang kakupas kupas…

Dance with my Father

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Today is Father’s Day and I sorely miss my Tatay!   This song (by Luther Vandross) says everything that I’m feeling.   Here’s the moving lyrics…

Back when I was a child, before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high and dance with my mother and me and then
Spin me around ’til I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved
If I could get another chance, another walk, another dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
How I’d love, love, love
To dance with my father again
When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way, I would run from her to him
He’d make me laugh just to comfort me
Then finally make me do just what my mama said
Later that night when I was asleep
He left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that he would be gone from me
If I could steal one final glance, one final step, one final dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
‘Cause I’d love, love, love
To dance with my father again
Sometimes I’d listen outside her door
And I’d hear how my mother cried for him
I pray for her even more than me
I pray for her even more than me
I know I’m praying for much too much
But could you send back the only man she loved
I know you don’t do it usually
But dear Lord she’s dying
To dance with my father again
Every night I fall asleep and this is all I ever dream

Lab yu Tatay Joe!

The Bella Flores Complex

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Peter Pan complex, Oedipus complex, Elektra complex and Napoleoan complex are some of the eponymous psychological complexes commonly known by the general public.  But one unrecognized psychological complex is slowly emerging in Pinoy society.  It has a distinct characteristic theme that illustrates a well defined set of mental factors.

People with this type of psychological complex are described as having the compulsive need to crush other people’s dreams with a non-murdering persona.  They see cruelty as their only way to get attention.  They enjoy seeing sweat coming out of people’s pores when they exhibit their rage and fury.  They ferociously take pleasure in making other’s lives miserable through mental tactics, dark intentions and scheming manipulations.  They are obsessed with their object of slavery’s bodily parts in which they have the compulsion to make “sampal” (face slapping), “pingot” (ear pinching) and “sabunot” (hair pulling).

In conformity with other psychological complexes being eponyms (naming after a person or character) and to pay tribute to the most popular and notorious villainess in Philippine cinema this psychological complex is called The Bella Flores Complex.   

Pipingutin ko ang taong walang kilala na merong Bella Flores Complex!

Fame Flores: A Rare Filipino Talent

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Fame Flores, a semi-finalist in the TV contest Pilipinas Got Talent (a Filipino franchise-version of Britain’s Got Talent owned by Simon Cowell) possess the most tasteful, sophisticated and world-class talent among all the contestants.  Her singing was beyond Pinoy.  It can cross the boundaries of cultures around the world.  It’s the type that cultured souls would love to listen to.

She could be compared to world-class talents like Italy’s Andrea Bocelli; England’s Sarah Brightman; Charlotte Church of United Kingdom; or, New Zealand’s Hayley Westerna (my personal favorite among these lot whom I own 2 of her CDs).

The title of the show “Pilipinas Got Talent” is a misnomer.  It should have been called “Pilipinas Got Mercy” because the judges seem to base their decision/selection not from remarkable talent but from either: corporeal, financial or emotional state-of-affairs of the contestants.  Flores should have joined the British version.  For sure she could have undoubtedly advanced to the finals.

Unfortunately, the dubious lady judges are cheap and unsophisticated that is why they let such a rare talent go astray.  If Fame Flores reached the finals, her talent could have further widened the diverse spectrum of popular Filipino art and music. The Philippines do not have mainstream pop-classical genre.  Flores could have started it!

Paki-treyn nga ang mga diyadyes!

High School Reunion Contemplations

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Prior to making it to high school, batch 1987 grew up watching humongous robots that battled an assortment of imperialist aliens on tv: Voltes V, Mazinger Z, Mekanda Robot and Daimos.

23 years later, the real world has totally taken over us: bigger tummy, receding hairline, grey hairs, sagging skin, thicker wallets, richer wisdom, more affluent experiences, broader tolerance and cooler persona.  These are some of the thoughts and reflections that got into me after attending my high school reunion last Saturday night.

Early in the afternoon while I prepare myself for the reunion party, soft little high school memories start to creep in… those simple lives we were living; those shallow springs of contentment; those uncomplicated troubles; and, those inimitable “kulitan”.

A lot of people abhor attending class reunions, but my high school batch of 1987 was totally different.  We graciously accepted the laws of gravity and realized that time has caught up with all of us.  We recognized that changes are an inevitable fact of life.  We embarked from high school 23 years ago to build our lives yet we acknowledge the fact that high school shaped us into the unique individuals that we are today.

We were but ourselves during the awesome get-together and we celebrated life’s changes.  Everybody was simply relaxed and had a wonderful time.  I really had a fantastic night.  Bottom line, the party felt like home…

Mor pawer klasmeyts…

Jeprox, Jologs, Jejemon

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Jeprox, Jologs and Jejemon are all urban slang that describe some chunks of the diverse Pinoy human spectrum.  These words that all unexpectedly starts with the letter “J” – a non-existent letter in the original Filipino alphabet – emerged at different periods characterize the cultural variations among the megapolitan Pinoys.

In the ‘70’s rock artist Mike Hanopol coined the term Jeprox.  He best describes these people in his song Laki Sa Layaw.  Jeprox are born rich, exuberant and lives an unrestrained life.  They are liberal and laid-back to the point of being immature, prodigal and irresponsible.  By now these portion of the population are 90% owners of colossal beer-bellies and a big chunk of these stratum smoked weed at least one time in their free-and-easy life.  They idolize Iskul Bukul tv seatcom characters Tito and Joey Escalera.

After approximately 2 decades, Jologs was coined.  This ‘90’s-born term depicts a person being crappy, unstylish, unfashionable and cheap-looking.  They are the corny group from the lower class who tries to be cool but ends up mediocre to the point of being an annoying failure.  Jolina Magdangal (a ’90s teenybopper superstar) is their Goddess while Mystica (a singer with hydrogen-peroxide-treated haircolor) is their Empress.  April Boy “‘Di Ko Kaya Tanggapin” Regino is their ultimate beloved idol.

Still after approximately 2 decades and just this year the term Jejemon emerges.  These are the maddening type of Pinoys who are experts in Jejetyping. What is so alarming is that with the age of social networking sites and text messages they seem to breed!  DhEy tYhp DaRe tHouWts enD meSShaGes CmeeLhar 2 dIzs, jejeje.  They breed questionable spelling.  They promote incorrect punctuations.  They support intolerable grammar.  Fortunately, their is an emerging group out to ruin this group otherwise known as Jejebusters.

I refuse to name some of the people I know and have personally encountered as Jeprox, Jologs and/or Jejemon.  All I can say is that I can live with them… Peace!

Bungga!  Kanya-kanyang trip lang yan!

Kelly Clarkson: The Manila Leg Concert

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Ironically my May 1 Labor Day is nothing laborious.  I lay all day on my bed but when late afternoon comes, I fetched my “darkest” nephew Luis to watch with me Kelly Clarkson’s All I Ever Wanted Concert Tour (the Manila leg).

Ironically also, I am not a big fan of Kelly Clarkson but I possess three (3) of her magnificent albums.  I was able to unintentionally amass all these albums simply because I am so impressed by the rock beat and soulful songs she has written.

Thanks to an officemate who got me a twelve thousand pesos worth of complimentary tickets for the said concert.  I admit and concede that I enjoyed and was totally entertained at the said musical event.  Owning the 3 albums made me aware of almost all the songs played during the concert making me sang along with Kelly.  But there were moments in which I just sat down, shut up and let the sound slice up the air and wash me.

Kelly Clarkson may not be the greatest pop rock artist in the world but her songs are majestic primal howls of anguish and isolation yet centers on appealing melodies with hooks that dugs into a listeners brain.  During the concert she even admitted that her songs are not happy.  I knew that after listening for numerous times to her albums in the past.  He songs are about pain, confusion, defiance and loss.  Even then, listening to her will leave you feeling cleansed and strangely… happy!

Her slow pop-rock hits were simply awesome it made the whole Araneta sing along with her — Because of You, Breakaway and Behind These Hazel Eyes.

Of course, I did not gave up my chance of enjoying to wave my hands, stomp my feet, dance on my seat and sing with her and the awesome audience when the fast-beat top hits by Kelly were performed — Since U Been Gone; All I Ever Wanted; I Want You; Walk Away; Never Again; If I Can’t Have You; Gone; and, Walk Away (my personal favorite).  The last song (My Life Would Suck Without You) just blew it because it failed to keep my heavy butt on my seat.  It made me stood up and dance to the beat!

Ayun umuwi akong masakit ang palad at medyo namamalat!

Unpopular Gibo

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Let me publicly announce that I will vote for Gibo.  I want him to be my next President.  I don’t want to justify my vote based on the man’s character, platform and qualifications.  The main reason why I will vote for him is because he is the only presidential candidate who can give specific solutions to specific problems.  He is the only candidate who responds to questions with precise unambiguous answers.  His answers are so factual, clear-cut and existent.  He doesn’t promise the birds and the bees.  He is the candidate who seems to be the most attached to reality about the present condition of the country.

However, Gibo is unpopular and is sure to lose.

Gibo is unpopular because he presents the aching truth about the country.  He acknowledges that going about the ironing of the damaged system of the government will be very difficult.  He doesn’t promise anything that is impossible to achieve in the next 6 years.  His stands and statements are so true that it often hurts.  As the saying goes, “truth hurts!”  Accepting a painful truth is very unpopular.

Gibo is unpopular because he doesn’t trash his opponents the way other candidates do to each other.  Attacking another opponent and waging negative campaigns against another candidate is what the Pinoy media wants.  Regrettably, media people consider these as more news worthy.  Recognizing an uncomplicated public figure is very unpopular.

Gibo is unpopular because ignorance is an epidemic in our country.  It’s a pity that a lot of people refuse to listen to intellectual rationale about the present status of the country.  Ignorant people would rather see and hear candidate’s artista relatives and candidates’ high and mighty unrealistic promises without specifics on how to go about it.  Spotting intelligence aside from being very rare is very unpopular.

Hmp!

Venus Raj Should Reign The Universe

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Aptly named Venus is the “pending” beauty title holder (not the planet) who should reign the universe.  In the midst of all the brouhaha about Venus Raj’s stripping of her Bb. Pilipinas-Universe title and in the process of reclaiming it back, the exotic-skinned lady should no doubt represent the country in this year’s Ms. Universe pageant.  It seems that mythology, onomastics, numerology, fairy tale galore and principles of modern marketing enterprise seem to conspire why she should win the most coveted beauty title in the planet, herewith are some glaring reasons:

  • On Onomastics and Mythology:  Appropriately named Venus.  This lady with swan-like neck was named after a major goddess of the Roman mythology that is principally associated with love and beauty.  Her surname Raj is an Indian word meaning dominion, power and reign.  Thus, her name simply defines “Reigning Love & Beauty” which suits the description of a Ms. Universe.
  • On Numerology:  This lady with long tresses was born in July 7, 1988.  If her birth date would be written in dd/mm/yy format it would look like 07/07/88.  Her birthday represents the numbers 7 and 8.  Seven is considered a mystic and sacred number.  It is a mystic number that is why there is 7 deadly sins, 7 wonders of the world, 7 last words, 7 kings of Rome, seventh heaven (that is beyond power and description) and 7-year itch.  Eight is considered the most powerful number.  In Chines feng shui, the number 8 expresses the totality of the universe.  It is the number of balance and of cosmic order according to the Egyptians.  Eight means multiplicity in Japan.  It is the lucky number associated to prosperity
  • On Fairy Tale Galore:  The life and success story of this 5 feet 9 inches tall lady can be paralleled to the lives and experiences encountered by the lead characters of well-known fairy tales.  Venus’s life is a classic Cinderella story.  According to Wikipedia, Venus was born out of wedlock and grew-up at a scanty town  in the province of Camarines Sur.  Her mother, a farmer and dressmaker was the sole person who brought her up as a child.  They lived in a nipa hut with no electricity in the middle of a sprawling rice field.  Strutting on rice paddies’ dikes was her early training for walking on fashion runways.  Thus, she is a living story of a young woman living in unfortunate circumstances which suddenly change to remarkable fortune.  People may wonder who is the evil witch and wicked step-sisters in Venus’ life.  It is so evident that these characters are in the person of Stella Araneta and the Binibining Pilipinas Charities officers respectively!
  • On Modern Marketing Enterprise:  If Venus will be crowned, all forms of media all over the planet would have a screamer headline “Venus (not the planet) Reigns The Universe”.  Media all over the world would feature a beauty queen with humble beginnings ala Cinderella story who fought hard in redeeming her right to represent a country went home with the title of Ms. Universe.  News agencies would definitely have a bash on this newsworthy story and can then follow-up it up with other feature stories on how the stars aligned and conspired with mythology, numerology and onomastics on Venus’ fate and destiny.  That would definitely be an interesting and positive newspaper read.  With such colorful story of Venus, Mr. Donald Trump and his Ms. Universe Organization will have the opportunity to rekindle interest from corporate sponsorships and advertisers in his future pageants.  For sure, they will gather heaps of money out from this.

Pwes, ipadala man ng Pinas o hindi, manalo man o matalo, dinedeklara kong si Venus Raj ang Ms. Universe sa planetang Venus.

Loathing WowwoWillie

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willie_revillameNever in my life did I finish watching an episode (from beginning ’till end) of the Pinoy noontime TV show entitled Wowwowee.  This is simply because of Willie Revillame, the host of the show.  For no apparent reason, I personally don’t like the host.  I have been trying to scrutinize my deepest thoughts – from my forebrain down to my medulla oblongata  – why I don’t like this person but no plausible rationale would come out.  My hating him is one imperceptible shrouded idea.  No reason, no grounds, no justification.  I just don’t like him.

After knowing the news that Revillame came out so arrogant on national TV demanding to stop the airing of the live-feed TV insert coverage of the cortege of the former president Cory Aquino’s remains (being simultaneously shown on screen along with his noontime show), I checked on YouTube if the demonstrated lordly behavior and exaggerated self-opinion was true.  Only then did I realize that all the while my unexplained atrocious feelings towards Revillame was sooo correct.

That is why when I stumbled upon the website written and created by Roel C. Saguisag about the “Petition to Oust Willie Revillame” – an online appeal addressed to the TV network of Revillame’s show – I did not hesitate to sign in.  As a result, I am petitioner number 39751.  As of this writing, there are Forty Eight Thousand One Hundred Eighty Two angry and disappointed souls who already signed in the said petition.  And still counting!

Dalawang hinlalaking pababa para sayo Willie! Yabang mo kasi.