About heavenliner

a twisted little soul... people see me to be so delicious they sometimes want to eat me...

The Word of the Day is… Hongsaya

Posted on February 22, 2011 by heavenliner

Hongsaya is the modern way of writing a Filipino phrase ‘ang saya’ meaning “it’s so fun”. This is the usual way today’s youth would write their feelings of elation towards a certain situation, event or happening.

It is from the Filipino root word ‘saya’ meaning fun with an inflectional affix ‘hong’ to express a grammatical mood. ‘Hong’ on the other hand is a modern derivative of the Tagalog article ‘ang’ meaning ‘the’. It is spoken in a loud yet low toned voice similar to Santa’s “Ho! Ho! Ho!” in which the intonation of the last syllable is uttered similar to that of shouting or howling.

This fresh contemporary and up-to-the-minute word can be transformed into a word-compounding process that would imply greater expression of not just simple fun but high degree of elation. You could write or say in a loud yet low toned voice: Hongsaya-saya!!!

Some examples of this modern prevailing word when used in a statement could be as follows:

Hongsaya-saya… parang magjowa lang!
Grabe, hongsaya aylavet!
Haler… Hongsaya-saya diba?

Wala nanaman akong magawa. Sensya na…

Awesome Mush-Up

Posted on February 20, 2011 by heavenliner

I woke up, turned on my computer, check my Facebook account, did a little construction and rent collection of my Cityville then open Youtube to check and confirm if my personal discernment that Lady Gaga’s hit Born This Way sounded similar to Madonna’s classic Express Yourself.

Indeed, there are numerous videos in Youtube that tried to compare, equate and link both songs. After checking out a couple of mush-ups, Fil-Am Youtube star, Manny Garcia’s funky and spunky version I think is the best. It even got a dash of Cee Lo Green’s Forget You sprinkled with Enrique iglesias’ I Like It and Kelly Rowland’s When Love Takes Over as a cherry on top. It’s a first-class, first-rate, five-star mush-up!

Check out Garcia’s genius work…

Tuod ang di mapasayaw nito.

Catch Love, Win Love

Posted on February 14, 2011 by heavenliner

Love is like a raffle stub.

The more entries you send the more chances of winning!!!

I hope you win the heart of your beloved this Valentine’s Day. It’s not the day you run away from love, it’s the day you track it down, tie it up and take it home.

Here’s a classic yet modernized Kundiman song for all lovers out there…

Hapi Balentong Day!

Made on Valentine’s Day

Posted on February 12, 2011 by heavenliner

According to US study the average length of pregnancy for primigravidae is 288 days and for multigravidae is 283 days. Also, based on a robust study undertaken in Sweden, based on over 400,000 births, the average length of pregnancy is 283 days.

However, in mid-19^th century according to Naegele’s Rule the gestational length of a woman’s pregnancy would only be 280. However, with the more modern time and the advent of Utrasound Scanners, it was found out that the more accurate gestational length is by adding 3 days to the Naegele’s formula, thus a sum of 283 days.

I’m not a medical doctor nor a midwife but utilizing my knowledge on the most primitive mathematical technique called ‘counting’, I found out that the days from February 14 until my birthday (November 24) is equal to 283 days. This only goes to show that the mitotic chromosomal genes of Nengkoy and Joe once again united for me to be conceived on the most romantic day on earth known as Valentine’s Day.

Ikaw kelan ka ginawa?

Devirginized Terminal Phalanges

Posted on February 6, 2011 by heavenliner

Nervousness, agitation and neurasthenia were the general feelings, never in my life that I have experienced it. I always do it to myself and I have never let anybody do it to me until this morning. The question I initially uttered is if it would hurt. I asked because the living soul who would do it to me never uttered a word prior to doing it. I asked because usually like doctors injecting a vial of medicine into my corporal chassis, they would tell me that it would ache a little similar to an ant’s bite.

Nengkoy’s Executive Housekeeper Alma was the one who took the object of my toenail’s innocence and purity. She was the first person ever to do me a pedicure devirginizing the tough dorsal part of my terminal phalanges. Yes, in my 40 years of existence never in my life that I had a pedicure done by another soul. My elder brothers (Kuya Bogis and Kuya Wreigh), my niece Thatcher and Nengkoy were around for moral support while Alma does my toenails.

It took Alma the strength, perseverance and iron-like guts to finish cleaning off my toenails. It was so unkempt she was able to amass boulders of grime, excess keratin and sprouting ragged cuticles. Nengkoy actually wanted to collect it and place it in a pot and plant a tree on it!

After my spectacular pedicure, I actually felt lighter. I think I lost three pounds in the process. Now, my toenails are so gorgeous, I want to bite it!

Sabi ni Nengkoy ang taytel daw dapat ng blag-powst na ito ay LUYA.

Alienating Senator with Alienated Bill

Posted on January 29, 2011 by heavenliner

While surfing the internet, I happen to chance upon the website of the 15^th Congress of the Senate of the Philippines. While surfing the Senate’s website, I stumbled onto one of the most bizarre bills ever filed! It is so debauched I got so stunned and astounded.

Senate bill 2639 authored by the ever ‘brilliant’ Senator Lito Lapid was filed just last Tuesday, January 18, 2011. The bill seeks to require all signs, signboards or billboards written in foreign language other than English and Filipino to bear corresponding English or Filipino translation.

As its “dazzling” basis, foreign languages alienate the Filipinos in their own country. He further explains in his bill that, “it is incumbent upon the State to instill and maintain a sense of nationalism among dwellers living within its jurisdiction, whether they are Filipinos or migrants. We, as Filipinos, should never be subjected to the alienation and seclusion that we are experiencing due to this phenomenon.”

Let me tickle your fancy and fantasy in case this bizarre bill is passed into a law. Here are some possible translations of popular restaurant establishments in the metro:

Je Suis Gourmand (French restaurant in Bonifacio Global City) =Ako Ay Gutom Restawran

Le Souffle (French Restaurant in Bagtikan, San Antonio Makati) = Ang Binate at Hinornong Puti ng Itlog Restawran

Omakase (Japanese Restaurant in Libis) = Bahala Ka Sa Buhay Mo Kainan

Taj (Indian Restaurant in Tagaytay) = Saplot sa Ulo na Hugis Apa Restawran

Bellini’s (Italian Restaurant in Cubao) = Restawran ni Manong Belini

Worse would be the restaurants that bear Korean characters now breeding the vicinities of Malate and Ermita. And can you just imagine the changes needed to me made in the confusing yet eye-catching Chinese calligraphy characters on the signboards found in the streets of Binondo and Ongpin?

Now, in the event this dim-witted bill is passed as an official decree, there are two questions I would like to ask: “Who then is alienating?” and, “Who now is alienated?”

Itong si Lapid di naman komedyante, nagbibiro. Sats a weyst of speys!

Wailing Woman In My Room

Posted on January 26, 2011 by heavenliner

Years ago when I was still living in the humble abode of Nengkoy, I collect CDs of various musical genres from classical Vivaldi to heavy metal rock. Almost every weekend I would troop to a record bar to get me a new CD. One of the CDs that I will never forget buying is the second album released by Paula Cole entitled This Fire. This Fire is an impressive collection of songs. It contains the hit Where Have All The Cowboys Gone; I Don’t Want To Wait the theme song from the hit TV series Dawson’s Creek; and, Feelin’ Love used as one of the soundtracks in City of Angels movie.

During those days every time I play my newly bought CD, I made sure that the volume is blaring. It is so loud that the music could be heard in the outskirts of southern Mindanao.

In the album, the dramatic and poetic track number 6 made me rolling down my bedroom floor from laughter because of Nengkoy’s reaction. The astounding yet underrated song is entitled Nitzsche’s Eyes. Nengkoy upon hearing the last part of the song came nervously running and rushing up the second floor of the house to find out who was the wailing woman in my bedroom. Only to find out that it was just the CD player running.

Here’s the great Nietzsche’s Eyes. I recommend that you turn the volume in full blast to know and appreciate what I’m talking about. Warning: before clicking the arrow, tell your mom first that you are to listen to an amazing song and there should be no cause for alarm.

Ol togeder now!!! — Geting dawn dis! Getting dawn dis! Geting dawn dis!

Spending 508 Minutes With Modern Family

Posted on January 23, 2011 by heavenliner

Spending 508 minutes with the Modern Family was nothing but a fun filled roller coaster ride. The Modern Family should not be the kind of family one should have because they are absurdly nutty. It should be the kind of family one should have because they are genuinely human.

Spending a majority of my weekend with this extended family was a blast. They are loaded, robust and hilarious. They made me roll in laughter, emotionally cry, hysterically laugh, heavily amazed and feel good. Did I already say they made me laugh?!

Yeah, after watching a marathon DVD of Season 1 of Modern Family, I tried my best to pick one or two characters that I particularly like but I can’t seem to do it. I can’t seem to select one because everybody is just so funny and endearing (and that includes adorable Lili, the Vietnamese-born baby, who has yet to utter a line in the show). Each character has facets that you want to root for and you realize elements of your own family in them.

One thing I don’t like about this family is that they made me sad. They made me sad because I want more! (I can’t wait for my next DVD 2nd season marathon) And anyone who doesn’t like this show does not have a sense of humor. There is something for everyone in this hilarious show so watch it! It will definitely touch you while making you laugh.

Masaya siguro ang perpektong pamilya pero mas masaya ang modern pamili.

Bird Crap

Posted on January 19, 2011 by heavenliner

bird poop

I’ve been living in the concrete jungle of Metro Manila for the past four decades and never in my life that I have encountered such destiny of being pooped-on by a flying bird. I only stayed for four short days in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia but it was the first time ever that a bird’s poop landed on my body.

One most likely explanation is because there are more birds in Malaysia as compared to Metro Manila. This is because birds in the wild in Metro Manila usually end up either as an adobo (Filipino-style stew) on the dining table of ordinary Pinoy household or hepatitis-inclined inihaw (grilled) for sale by street hawkers.

There is a foolish irrational belief that a person getting crapped on by a bird will result to good luck. My two cents on this is maybe because there is a very small statistics of mortals being pooped-on by these feathered creatures similar to the statistics of individuals winning the lottery. Or maybe this horrible circumstance that is hypothesized to lead to impending godsend providence could be correlated to life’s general law of balance, harmony and equilibrium. That one cannot have successes without failures or gains without hardships.

Now on my part, I am just but excited on what lies ahead…

Magpapasalamat akong tiyak sa tatcheng yon!

A Purple Shaded Week

Posted on January 15, 2011 by heavenliner

Everybody create their own private challenges may it be a completion of a 5-day miracle diet, a tour around the word in 80 days, a 9-day St. Jude novena prayer or 7–day detoxification program. Some succeed, others do not. And oftentimes, these challenges (which some consider as a personal devotion or self-sacrifice) are aimed at achieving something in the end. It could be a sexier and leaner body, a silky smoother skin or a fulfillment of an impossible wish.

Prior to the start of this present week, I crafted my own personal challenge but without any particular aim in the end. I decided to wear clothes in shades of purple for 7 consecutive days. Purple is not my most favorite color but I believe in the statement once uttered by Coco Channel, i.e. ““The best color in the world is the one that looks good on you”.

And as a witness, I secretly told one of my colleagues in my office (Executive Sous Chef Onille Pitogo). Yes, from Monday ‘till Sunday, I decided to wear clothing with a shade of either: mauve, lilac, violet, lavender or aubergine. And since it is already a Saturday, I am most likely to succeed. Here’s my proof (of purchase)…

Walang basagan ng trip. Parang gusto ko ng tortang talong at ube halaya mamayang hapunan…

monday

tuesday

wednesday

thursday

friday

saturday (this is what i'm only wearing while writing this post)

sunday (this is what i will wear tomorrow)

Nengkoy

ruminations & travesties of the favorite yet naughty son of Nengkoy

Author Archives: heavenliner