The Super Powers of Anne Curtis

anne curtis

Without doubt, fear and hesitation let me declare that the most powerful human being in the Philippines in this present time is none other than Anne Curtis.  Why?  If Curtis with her enigmatic charm, gorgeous face and drop dead body will just live with her most popular spoken lines on television “I may be a slut, but I’m the best slut in town”, she can easily swoon all the chauvinist public officials (both in politics and in the armed forces) as well as the dirty richest men in the country.  She can effortlessly mesmerize these men to fall unto her prey to instruct them on whatever she may want them to do.

You can never get rid of her in this country.  Curtis nowadays is everywhere.  She’s on the façade of your favorite malls, she’s on the cover of your glossy magazines, she’s on the huge billboards of the major thoroughfares, she’s in the stories of your newspapers, she’s singing on your radio, she’s hosting on TV, and she’s even at the back of your commuter bus.

Ironically, Curtis has yet to be named and ranked #1 as the sexiest Filipina by the most popular male magazine of the land.  Maybe because Curtis has gone beyond just being sexy, Curtis is a goddess.

Nowadays, whatever thing, event or person that Curtis is associated with seems to spell out nothing but success.  Just like the recently concluded Philippine Fashion Week which actually became fashionable because Curtis was there.  Riding the metro has also been a hip thing to do after the news broke when Curtis took the train ride twice: to catch the Kylie Minogue concert on time and to report to her TV studio recently.

She was also in the headlines when her photo on a magazine cover smoking a cigarette created a huge buzz among the medical practitioners, in which the issue she shared with was with no less than the prime actress and superstar Nora Aunor.

Unlike Aunor, Curtis can hardly sing.  She actually laughs at herself when she does.  When Curtis sings, people surprisingly stop to listen for it will result to a vivacious laughing moment.  But when she recorded and sold an album it turned multi-platinum.  The last time I heard, people will again catch this lady via her mall shows and mini-concerts all around the metro.

And most recently, to everybody’s surprise, her movie entitled No Other Woman just broke the record for being the highest grossing film in the Philippine movie industry history.  One thing though.  I don’t seem to have the chutzpah to watch this movie and would rather settle to be one of the few souls who failed to see it in a movie theater.  This is because I disagree with the story-line.  Curtis played the role of a mistress while her co-star Christine Reyes played the role of the legal wife who expectedly went on a meltdown, turned sad and miserable but later on fought for the man that she loves.  I disagree with the story line of Christine Reyes going depressed and miserable because for me if a woman learned that her husband’s mistress is Anne Curtis then she must instead celebrate and be in good spirits.  This only confirms that her husband got some impeccable taste.

Anyway, maybe the reason why Curtis is so powerful is because she can project various personas effectively.  She can be highly fashionable, she can be extremely sexy, she can be flirtatious and liberated, she can be subtle and delicate, she can be fun and bubbly and she can be silly yet strong-willed.

Paki-bagayan ang di pagsang-ayon base sa iyong kagandahan.

Pinoys Moving Gaga

It is so amazing to know that the most powerful woman in the world can easily be moved by the Filipinos.  Lady Gaga in 2009 during one of her first arena solo concert (in 2009 she would go on tour to sing and dance as an opening act for somebody more popular to follow).  Obviously, she was moved with the warm reception she received and even announced during the concert that she grew up in New York with a best friend from the Philippines.

Early this year, as everybody knows, YouTube sensation Maria Aragon (a Canadian with Filipino descent) impressed Lady Gaga with her rendition of Born This Way.  Aragon even had the chance to perform in Gaga’s concert in Canada.

Just this week, another Filipino moved Lady Gaga to tears with his contemporary dance rendition of a Sonya Tayeh choreography in the TV show So You Think You Can Dance.  Marko Germar, the Filipino contender based in Guam is the guy responsible for making Lady Gaga gone gaga.

I won’t post the goose-bump-popping rendition here (you can check it out on You Tube) but instead place my personal favorite dance routine of this amazing Pinoy with his partner Melanie Moore.  Marko and Melanie have done fabulous and chilling numbers in the show week after week, but this is my favorite!

I hope this deserving guy wins the contest.  I’m a fan!

Nagagaga ang gaga sa atin!

Spending 508 Minutes With Modern Family

Spending 508 minutes with the Modern Family was nothing but a fun filled roller coaster ride.  The Modern Family should not be the kind of family one should have because they are absurdly nutty.  It should be the kind of family one should have because they are genuinely human.

Spending a majority of my weekend with this extended family was a blast.  They are loaded, robust and hilarious.  They made me roll in laughter, emotionally cry, hysterically laugh, heavily amazed and feel good.  Did I already say they made me laugh?!

Yeah, after watching a marathon DVD of Season 1 of Modern Family, I tried my best to pick one or two characters that I particularly like but I can’t seem to do it.  I can’t seem to select one because everybody is just so funny and endearing (and that includes adorable Lili, the Vietnamese-born baby, who has yet to utter a line in the show). Each character has facets that you want to root for and you realize elements of your own family in them.

One thing I don’t like about this family is that they made me sad.  They made me sad because I want more!  (I can’t wait for my next DVD 2nd season marathon) And anyone who doesn’t like this show does not have a sense of humor.  There is something for everyone in this hilarious show so watch it!  It will definitely touch you while making you laugh.

Masaya siguro ang perpektong pamilya pero mas masaya ang modern pamili.

Free Hubert Webb

After fifteen long years in prison, Hubert Webb is neither innocent nor guilty but should be set free!  This is my personal opinion and assessment after watching last Sunday night the TV documentary “Cheche Lazaro Present:  Dalawang Mukha ng Hustisya”.

I am saying this not because the Philippine court should have accepted Webb’s greatest and absolute defense of being in US during the time of the crime as verified by FBI and certified no less by Madeleine Korbel Albright (first woman US Secretary of State).

I am saying this because some dimwit and defective government agency misplaced and unable to find the semen specimen found in the cadaver of Carmela (one of the victims in the Vizconde massacre) so as to compare it with the semen of Hubert Webb via DNA testing.  The missing semen specimen is a definite and clear-cut evidence that could no longer be presented in court not by fault by Webb but by fault of a Philippine government agency, thus, he in effect is deprived of due process.  Therefore he should be discharged, dismissed and relieved from the confines of prison.

Ang problema hindi ako ang Suprim Kort ng Pinas.  Keys dismis!

Autograph from an Extra-Ordinary Earthling

I don’t know.  But there is something about this thespian that seem elusive and mysterious.  He just gets acting projects and act out on it.  He’s not “showbiz” and there is nothing fancy about him at all yet he usually receives the loudest cheer, roar and approbation whenever he makes a public appearance.

He does not possess the Fernando Poe Jr. archetype nor carry the stalwart stance of Rogelio Dela Rosa.  He does not have the clever wit of Dolphy nor possess the magical phenomenon of Piolo Pascual.  He is mellow and subdued.  He is effortlessly simple.  He is actually average, too average to the point of being extra-ordinary.  Maybe he is just a typical earthling with enigmatic bearing in the bewitching and exalting world of show business which makes him stand out.

That is why when I learned that he is to dine in one of the restaurants that I worked for, I abused my power by ordering the restaurant manager to get me this actor’s autograph.  As cynical and jaded as I am, I even threaten the restaurant manager that he will be subjected to medieval forms of torture if he failed to get me one!  I got the autograph which I intend to preserve because I believe it would be precious after a couple of decades.

Walang kokontra! Ako’y isang tanga-hanga.

Komersyal Muna

This is a Coca Cola ad in the mid-80s when I was still a part of the young population.  It was such a colossal hit then.  The whole Philippines was talking about a pretty singer (with enormously big set of ears) named Lilet being chosen to represent the country in filming this commercial for local release.  She was actually sent to Liverpool, England to shoot this Coca-Cola advertisement. If memory serves me right, there were actually versions of this ad sang in different languages all filmed in one common venue.

The catchy song was about unity, strength and hope among the young dynamic earthlings.  That year, I would have nominated Coca Cola Company for a Nobel Prize for Peace because of this advert.

Lilet, I and the rest of the youth who grew up in the ‘80s are no longer the future but the actual front runners of this planet.  We being todays adults may have not done the best in preserving world peace and in conserving mother earth, at least Madonna, U2 and MTV Channel (plus Regal, Viva and Seiko Films movies produced locally) were some of the unique  conceptions of our time.  Moreover, I’m keeping my fingers crossed that apocalyptic annihilation will not take place during our incumbency and dominion.   

Significant changes had happened (good, delightful, wicked and screwy) and I hope that today’s luckluster, bland and boring youth will be inspired by the lasting message of this amazing song.

I am the future of the world
I am the hope of my nation
I am tomorrow’s people
I am the new inspiration

And we’ve got a song to sing to you
We’ve got a message to bring to you

Please let there be, for you and for me, a tomorrow (tomorrow)
If we all can agree there’ll be sweet harmony tomorrow (tomorrow)
And we all will be there, Coca-Cola to share
Feeling so real and so true
Promise us tomorrow
And we’ll build a better world for you

Ngayon, matataba na tayo dahil sa kowk na yan.

The Devil Inside the Church

A friend’s friend told me a shocking story of a person who will soon be convicted of qualified theft in a grandiose scale and will soon spend the remaining years of his life in prison.  My friend’s friend told me that this mortal being is known in public as a Taong Simbahan (a church person).  Contrary to his true and authentic lawbreaking character and with his scheming lies and evil manipulations, he was able to project himself as a good-natured child of God.

He never misses to go to church and attend the Holy Mass everyday prior to going to his workplace.  He is a self-proclaimed devotee of The Lady of Manaoag and never misses the yearly grueling street procession of a beautiful and richly robed image of the Virgin Mary called ‘Nuestra Senora de La Naval’.  On Ash Wednesdays, he is one of the first mortals who display ash-laden foreheads making all people who cross his path early in the morning feel guilty of not having one yet.  If attendance is to be checked and awarded on the presence of the population who attended the Filipino Simbang Gabi (midnight mass) tradition during Christmas Season, he would receive the Perfect Attendance recognition on a yearly basis. He knows every mysterious mysteries of the Holy Rosary.  What was even so absurd to know was that he was an Hermano Mayor (a major sponsor) in a fiesta celebration for the feast of a certain Catholic saint in his hometown province.

With all these irrational representation of this person being relayed to me by my friend’s friend, I was left outraged.  I could not believe that such a bipolar and lunatic account could exist.  I was left shocked and speechless.   And all I could say was a borrowed line from a similarly lunatic TV series uttered by Vera Cruz of Vera Couture from the telenovela Magkaribal — “I thought the devil wasn’t allowed in church.”  Well, he may be allowed in church but soon this is going to be the church behind prison bars.

Kung din man yan makulong, may kanta si Boy George para sa kanya… Ol togeder naw! “karma-karma-karma-kamiliyon…”

Analyses on Venus Raj Q&A

It has been less than 24 hours but multitudes of people have been judging, mocking or are still in the process of making fun on the answer given by Ms. Philippines to the question asked by one of the judges in the recently concluded Ms. Universe 2010.  I personally believed that she was thrown with the toughest question.

But if you are to fully analyze the question “What is one big mistake in your life? And what did you do to make it right?” it’s like demanding the candidate in front of jillions of people at the arena and viewers around the world to reveal and confess one huge personal blunder that she has done.  Now, if you are Ms. Philippines, would you reveal it?  Would you have the guts to uncover it?  Would you dare make it public? I’m pretty sure you won’t!

That is why those who had an abortion; those who are drug or alcohol addicted; those who had pre-marital sex; those who are secretly married; those who had sex with their boyfriend or girlfriend’s best friend; those who are cheats and thieves; those who silently farted and made a public uproar out from the released stink-bomb; those who had an episode of violating God’s Ten Commandments; and those who had any form of booboo who has kept it in themselves and refused to reveal it, you actually have no right whatsoever to poke fun at the answer given by the 4th Runner Up of this year’s Ms. Universe Pageant!

For those who consider themselves to be an open-book and does not seem to keep a secret blooper and would proudly raise that they could have answered the question better, my only advice to you is to join first the local pageant here in the Philippines (Binibining Pilipinas) and see for yourself if you can actually land the top plum of the contest to represent our country in the next Ms. Universe.  I’m fairly sure you’re not even qualified to join Binibining Pilipinas!

Now let me personally analyze the answer given by Ms. Philippines. With gentle grace and respect exhibited by Ms. Philippines to the not-so-respectable judge who asked her, she responded “In my 22 years of existence, I can say there is nothing major (major) problem that I have done because I am very confident with my family with the love that they are giving to me.”  It’s like saying “It’s none of your damn business, Mr. Baldwin! And I refuse to answer such a half-witted private question in front of this considerable number of people!” Thus, it’s a case of giving a stupid answer to a stupid question.  At least she was stunningly graceful and incredibly tactful!

With these analyses I therefore conclude that Ms. Philippines did a great job during the Q&A.  Congratulations!

World Pis sa ebri wan…

Borutesu Faibu

“A generation without closure” is one label that has been associated to my generation.  This is basically linked to me and my contemporaries’ failure to realize whatever happened to the well-loved Voltes V team (Steve, Big Bert, Little John, Jamie and Mark) and the Bozanian Empire when the very popular TV show’s final five episodes were cut off the air by the Marcos regime in the late 70’s.

But because of the new technology in which almost all information is now available in the internet, I had the opportunity to finally make a closure on this long-standing delay.  Some even feel that this anime is considered to be the longest story ever told.  Thanks to Youtube and the person who uploaded the final episodes of the most adored anime series of my generation.  Hermetic seal has somewhat been achieved. 

However, there are still some silly questions that left hanging after watching the final episode:

  1.  Who did Jamie end up marrying? Will she pose sexy in the cover of FHM magazine?
  2. Did Little John outgrow the black heads on his face?  How does Little John look like as an adult?
  3. Would Big Bert agree to trim his body down as treated and sponsored by Dra. Vicky Belo?
  4. Would Mark be signed up as a Bench underwear model in its next bi-annual fashion show?
  5. Would Steve agree for a 5-picture contract with Pinoy Box Office Queen Sarah Geronimo?
  6. Are the remaining Bozanians with horns on their head dehorned by the earthlings when peace was achieved and realized in the universe?  In case they do not have horns anymore, does it mean they will never get horny for the rest of their lives?
  7. With peace being achieved in the universe and Voltes weapons are practically of no use anymore, will the Ultra Electro Magnetic Top, Laser Sword, Voltes Bazooka and Chain Knuckle be auctioned in Sotheby’s or be on display at Tokyo National Museum?
  8. Is it true about the rumor that Voltes V will do a film and their main antagonists are Celia Rodriguez, Bella Flores and (the come-back movie of)  Zenny Zabala?  There’s even a big buzz that Imelda Marcos will have a special participation at the end to relive her family’s power of killing Voltes V! 

 These questions may seem to belittle the fascinating anime of my childhood days.  But one thing remains Voltes V was able to bring a generation of Filipinos (of various social-classes) into a commonality.  It created a shared experience that really brought people together.   It captivated a Pinoy breed on a story of friendship, of brotherhood, of sacrifice, of justice and of team work.  No doubt, Voltes V will always have a reasonably huge fragment in my life and the persuasive lessons it conveyed will always be remembered.

Dahil dyan… Let’s Volt In!!!

Warning: NBA Finals Game 7 may lead to a Job Disciplinary Action

Even if the economy is bad, a lot of people borrowed large sums of money just to place their bets.  We Pinoys are so immersed on the performance of a bunch of basketball prima donnas chasing, bouncing, passing and shooting a ball on the final game.  Each Pinoy is either a Team Lakers or a Team Celtics.

The upcoming Friday morning is not going to be a walk in the park.  Every working Pinoy citizen (who has work on Friday) has been clogged with a lot of things to update and finish this 4-day work week especially after just having an extended weekend.  But NBA finals game 7 (only the 17th time in the history of NBA) will happen this busy Friday so work on Friday morning will have to wait.  For sure, a lot will not be able to concentrate in their job and would try to peek in their handheld China-made mobile phone with TV they brought along in their place of work while being on duty trying to get a glimpse of the much anticipated final game.

Due to this, I’m sure a lot of employs may be given a disciplinary action because of the following possible office violations: 

  • malingering (for those who called-in-sick and opted to go on half-day to watch the game);
  • negligence (for those who fail to concentrate on their job because of no means to see the game);
  • deliberate slowing down of work (for those who peek into their mobile TV they brought in their place of work);
  • gambling (for those who can’t resist on placing their money bets to their preferred team);
  • deliberate destruction of office tools, materials and/or equipment (for those who can’t resist destroying an office equipment because of emotional outbursts during and/or after the game)

Here is a tip to prevent this.  Office politics will be very important on Friday morning.  For sure your boss is either on your team or comes from the opposing side.  Therefore, be creative!  If you and your boss is a fan of the same team then watching the game with him during office hours won’t be a problem.  However, if you favor the opposing team then sincerely talk him over, bring a hot breakfast or snack for him and remind him that NBA finals game is on and would love to see who would be a better cheerer between you and him during the game.  Furthermore, tell him that you would be willing to finish the pending job on extended working hours before calling it a day.

Gudlak sa maka-Seltiks at maka-Leykers…