Election season is on!  Senate race is heating up! This early, Pinoys are contemplating on whom are they going to vote when they exercise their right to suffrage come election date.  For me, I have yet to list down my selected candidates for the senate.  But for sure the following candidates will have difficulty to be included in my list:

1. Trapos (traditional politicians) vying for reelection.  These politicians have gone surprisingly rich during their term in the government and no way would I allow them to get richer.  Besides, some candidates wanting to be reelected are already geriatric cases who rarely spend a day in their respective offices.  Enough with the trapos please.

2. Kin of politicians.  These are candidates who would ride along the popularity of their names and their relatives.  I simply abhor political dynasties!

It’s creepy to imagine if these dynasties will be elected in the senate.  It’s like four families controlling the lives of 90 million Pinoys:

Pia Cayetano and her brother Alan Peter Cayetano

Tessie Oreta Aquino and her nephew Noynoy Aquino

Loi Ejercito and son Jinggoy Estrada with half-brother JV Ejercito

Nene Pimentel and son Koko Pimentel

3. Showbiz personalities. You don’t need to be a whiz kid to know that acting on movies and being a news anchor on TV are totally different from the demands of public service and/or writing a law. 

Until now, I can’t still stomach the fact that “saling-pusa” Lito Lapid and the playboy Bong Revilla are senators.  Former senator and now vice-president Noli De Castro could not even pronounce the word “special” correctly considering that he was a news anchor.  He would pronounce it as “espeyshal”.  It gives me goose bumps to envision brainless arrogant Senator Richard Gomez having a scuffle with the equally dim-witted Senator Jinggoy Estrada inside the senate house!  Yikes!

If these folks are elected, I guess we are… 

You probably heard the news that Shilpa Shetty, the pretty Bollywood actress has been discriminated a number of times in Britain’s Big Brother Celebrity edition TV Program.  She has received downright bitchy and racially pejorative remarks from her housemates.

Some of the discriminating remarks were:

• British celebrity housemates speculates that Shilpa, who has starred in more than 40 Bollywood films, was a "fake" celebrity planted in the house
• Shilpa has been called a "dog" by one of the housemates and some complained about her touching their food
• A female housemate (a former singer from the campy pop band S Club 7) mentioned that Indians were thin because they were always ill as a result of undercooking their food
• Another British housemate said that Shilpa should have stayed in Bollywood and she would love to squeeze Shilpa’s neck until the eyes pops out.

We Filipinos loved the local Big Brother series in the Philippines but we should never allow this to happen to our Asian brothers trying to live a life in a western country.  Indians as a form of their protest have burned effigies of the British flag or the Big Brother logo in public.  But what about us Pinoys?  How are we going to protest against these racist acts towards our fellow Asian without the Britons ever knowing it?  Here’s a suggestion…

Pinoy domestic helpers are everywhere around the world.  They have been domestic helpers and nannies to the children of international corporate moguls, oil magnates and royal families.  We Pinoys are no longer amazed when a young prince or a son of a European President has a Visayan accent when he speaks English since he learned this from his Visayan nanny.  Pinoy domestic helpers can actually be the principal weapon of the Philippines towards world domination.  Tomorrow’s world leaders for sure will grow up with a Pinay nanny and house helpers.

Therefore, as a form of opposition and disproval to these messy racist deeds by Britons, I would like to call on all the ever reliable Pinay domestic helpers serving in British households to put a lot of vetsin (monosodium glutamate – the unhealthy wonder powder) in the food of their masters.  In this way, Britons would love, appreciate and enjoy the Pinoy’s prepared dish without them knowing that the food is already a bit noxious.  Maybe and hopefully, the vetsin in each of Briton’s body system can bring them to their wise senses.

Suggestion lang naman… kainis kasi…

English the universal language has been the major tool of mankind in bridging gaps and solidifying unity.  However, English language if analyzed is actually a bit confusing.  A list of things that immediately entered my crazy brain are the following:

1. Why do people call an elevator with the same word when the car is going down?  Isn’t it supposed to be called “delevator”?
2. Similarly, why is the automatic moving stairs called escalator still called an escalator when it’s going down? Isn’t it supposed to be called “descalator”?
3. Why do people eat a cured ham?  Has it been sick?
4. A chicken that has been bled and pulled off its feathers is called a “dressed chicken”.
5. A clubhouse sandwich doesn’t have a house neither a club in between bread buns.

Siguro kulang na ‘ko sa tulog…