World War Z and the Philippine Zombie

Posted on June 30, 2013 by heavenliner

pile of zombies going up the israeli wall in the movie World War Z

Zombies are not counted in traditional Filipino mythical world as well as folklores of the ghoulish variant. There is actually no Filipino-Tagalog translation for a Zombie. And to further prove this point, the old Filipino letters actually does not have a letter Z in it. Thus, zombies are non-existent in the Philippines and that it is a product of a western mind.

With this underpinning thought, I am confident that in the zombie-movie World War Z, the bug did not originate from the Philippines. But the movie made me anxious and curious if zombies would be able to reach the Philippines. Like Japan and Indonesia, the Philippines is an archipelago. Thus, to reach and cross its borders you can only enter either via air or water never by land.

I am not a fan of zombie-genre-movies but World War Z ranks right up in my list in terms of making me stunned and jolt right on my seat. Though the movie was intensely entertaining, it is regrettable that it did not illustrate if the Philippines was infected or was in the clear. But with the depiction that the infection will alter a person’s appearance and behavior in just 12 seconds, I presupposed that the Philippines was indeed spared. Why? A zombie characterized to have poor dexterity can’t fly an airplane or sail a boat. And with an extreme aggressiveness and severe hunger for human flesh all passengers of an airplane or a ship would easily be infected before its engine can even start.

When Brad Pitt decided to go to Israel being one of the countries that have kept the zombies at bay because of their construction of a wall, I was shouting “Go to the Philippines!!! You will be safe here!!!” inside the cinema hoping he would hear me. And when the zombies were able to go over the wall of Israel and infected its citizens depicted in a visually astonishing style, I was again shouting inside the movie house “I told you Brad!!! I told you!!!”

a usual occurrence in zombie-filled manila

Maybe the reason why there is no zombie here is because we Pinoys already have so much to deal with. Like having the same equation in different dimension, the zombies of the Philippines are in the form of car thefts, kidnappers, pickpockets, armed robbers and atrocious taxi drivers. These are the on-going catastrophe of Philippine society.

I no doubt enjoyed the compelling World War Z movie and I just hope, similar to what Brad Pitt and those scientist/doctors did in the movie, we finally discover a cure or antidote that would put an end to the pandemic Philippine zombies.

Maging mabuti. Hwag maging sombi.

They Found Their King Richard III While Our Warrior Lapu-Lapu Is (Still Missing) Our Dinner

Posted on February 10, 2013 by heavenliner

The skeleton of a man who lived, reigned and died more than 500 years ago was found and just this week (after comprehensive research and study) has been confirmed to be the remains of Richard III, King of England and one of the last Plantagenet.

Finding the remains of King Richard III buried underneath a parking lot is extra-ordinarily mind-blowing yet true. His colorful life story and his remains are actually older than the recorded history of my country (Philippines).

I have read quite a number of things about Richard III in the past. He has been badly represented by history being crooked power-hungry hunched-back notorious killer. However, due to the unearthing of his remains historians of Great Britain has started to re-evaluate for a more accurate depiction on the life and personality of Richard III.

As for my country, the first recorded warrior-hero is Lapu-Lapu. He is believed to have lived a couple of decades after Richard III was killed. But unfortunately, biographical accounts and chronicles about Lapu-Lapu remain blurred, dazed and vague.

Like Richard III, I hope someone would surprise us and be able to unearth Lapu-Lapu’s remains. This seemingly impossible feat will certainly solidify the foundation and cultural substance of my countrymen. My country’s past and history before the Spanish colonization seem fallacious and illusory we inadvertently named a reddish grouper fish Lapu-Lapu.

lapu lapu in sweet & sour sauce

I guess no Filipino today will try to search for the remains of the great warrior because we already often see it deep-fried with sweet and sour sauce on our dining table.

Malay n’yo anak pala sa labas ni Haring Ritsard III si Lafu-Lafu…

Incorrigible Donald Trump Jr.

Posted on February 1, 2013 by heavenliner

“Hopeless Idiot” that is what I unconsciously uttered when I read in the news about the cruel tweet posted by the son of the estate mogul Donald Trump.

So for Mr. Trump Jr. the 277-million-dollar ship that can’t properly navigate is more important (that’s why it got lost and eventually stuck on the reef) than the Tubbataha. He doesn’t want the ship dismantled. It is so sad to know that this son of a magnate who would soon be one of the forerunners and major stirrer of a conglomerate has gone numb and insensible about nature.

I totally agree with FranceFluxing when she tweeted this.

Yeah, the Trump Organization run by Donald Trump and his family can develop hotels, resorts, golf courses and residential towers in various parts of the globe. But one thing is for sure their organization cannot construct a natural wonder like the wondrous Tubbataha Reef.

If Donald Trump Jr. and his supporters will try to challenge or get critical about this post then my middle finger is ready to rise…

Ignoramus…

The Fab Les Miserables

Posted on January 20, 2013 by heavenliner

young cosette

Les Miserables being an excellently rich and emotionally charged material (music by Claude-Michel Shonberg and English-language lyrics by Herbert Kretzmer) any actor may he/she has an average or excellent singing voice will for sure be driven to do a first-rate performance.

This is what turned out the 2012 movie to be. The whole cast were simply magnificent in showing off the explosions of emotions. No wonder Anne Hathaway and Hugh Jackman won the Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actress and Best Actor awards respectively and as of this writing are nominated in the Oscars for the same categories. I was intensely overwhelmed by their performances.

gavroche

Aside from these two great actors, the three other thespians that blew me away were: Eddie Redmayne (who played Marius); Isabelle Allen (as young Cosette); and Daniel Huttlestone (as Gavroche).

The kids Isabelle and Daniel were so endearing. Isabelle I suppose had the best singing voice among the cast. Her representation of young Cosette was raw yet captivating. Her singing voice and facial features perfectly fit her role.

Daniel on the other hand was simply charismatic. Not to mention his thick British accent was so adorable. I was rendered speechless and was totally dazed by his performance especially when he was shot and was shown lifeless on the floor while being honored by the villain Javert.

marius

Eddie Redmayne for me was the biggest surprise. I was stunned by his performance. He was particularly brilliant when he was singing “Empty Chairs at Empty Tables”. He was so good I can even feel the freckles on his face acting out the volcanic grief Marius (his role) was feeling.

Overall the movie was great and magnificent. However there are two silly points I did not like.

First, there were too many facial close-ups. From my own observation, 85% of the movie was a close-up of the actors singing. There were too many of it, I already had the longing to count the number of wrinkles and skin pores present on Hugh Jackman’s face for every close-ranged shot he had so as to check if it is the same number on the next or previous scene he had.

Second was the quality of the singing voice of Russell Crowe (who played the interesting character of Inspector Javert). Crowe’s singing voice for me was a bit weak bordering to being quite gentle. He can carry a tune alright but for me villainous Javert’s tone of voice is supposed to be rougher, deeper and oppressively frightening.

I guess it’s not new to everybody that I love “contravidas” (villains). I have written quite a number of them here in this blog (press: link1 or link2 or link3). That is why I was excited to hear the commanding singing voice of Inspector Javert when he sings “Stars” in the movie (one of my favorite songs in the musical version). But for me Crowe fell short of my demanding expectation and was actually a bit of a disappointment.

Yet overall, Les Miserables (the 2012 film) is what a Hollywood movie should be. Touching, entertaining, superb and charismatic!

Ibang klase ‘to.

Multo Inspired Collection

Posted on November 30, 2012 by heavenliner

photo from interaksyon.com

Major Fail. That is what I can say about the recent Lesley Mobo fashion show (being part of the recent Philippine Fashion Week). The video’s first frame dated the show October 29, 2013. This made me confused. Was the snobbish-looking event held last October 29, 2012 was just a rehearsal?

The first frame also indicates that the designs would be for the 2013 Spring and Summer collection. I was expecting for a more upbeat background music to be used in the show since spring and summer seasons usually brings a more festive and cheery mood. Instead, music used was a chilly dirge-like sound. The music used made me expect that anytime in between gaiting models, a dead soul would appear and would scream at the top of its lungs to scare off the wits of the audience.

This was the first fashion show that I have seen that the catwalk was not in the hub and midpoint of the venue. The models were made to walk on a stage and along the borders of the venue. It felt like the event’s highlight was the classy candle-lit dinner while the actual fashion show was just a prying disturbance.

The event was held last October 29, two nights before the Halloween. The designs in the collection were indeed multo-inspired (ghost inspired). The show’s title should have been “Kaluluwa Ni Morticia: Babaing Itim, Babaing Puti”. Those designs were nothing but Halloween-y. Not in a fun Halloween sense but in a more creepy terrifying angle. Those designs had nothing to do with either the colorful spring or the joyful summer. Those audiences who graced the show for sure now know what it feels like dining inside the house of the Addams Family.

It was too over-thought to the point of being pretentious. It’s no longer stylish or classy.

Hindi kasi ako inbayted.

Sgt. Diosdado Carandang

Posted on August 15, 2012 by heavenliner

vic silayan as sgt. diosdado carandang

Ten years before Hannibal Lecter was introduced in the Hollywood motion picture Silence of the Lambs (1991) there was an even scarier movie character. His name is Sgt. Diosdado Carandang in the classic 1981 film entitled Kisapmata.

Kisapmata, a Filipino movie directed by Mike De Leon must really be a very good film. I tried telling a couple of people that this was the film I saw last weekend and it seems that all people who has seen it in the past can actually recall without difficulty the events that transpired in the story. This 31-year-old movie must really be an excellent film that it actually made a mark in the memory of those who has seen it.

I for one do not only consider this movie a drama but also horror. No, the movie does not have freaky ghosts as characters nor this film would scare you by jolting you off your seat. The storyline, the crisp snuffcolored sepia-like cinematography, the monotone quietness of sound as well as the whole ensembles’ fine acting will actually haunt you.

I particularly was very impressed by the performance of Vic Silayan who played Sgt. Diosdado Carandang. The mere tonality of his deep bass voice when he speaks will make you so terrified and start blaming yourself why you even dared started watching this film. Silayan’s haunting characterization is so scary you wouldn’t want to meet that character ever in your lifetime. Silayan was so eerie you’d prefer to talk and spend your time with Hannibal Lecter.

Katakot!

I Believe In Mermaids

Posted on July 5, 2012 by heavenliner

king triton

I hate the CBS News report in which the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) claims that there are no such things as mermaids. I hate this group by calling mermaids not as mermaids but instead naming them as “aquatic humanoids”. This undignified tagging is ridiculously unbecoming.

For me mermaids are symbols of enchanting moments and they only appear to those who are pure and true at heart. Declaring mermaids being not real is like saying magical times are non-existent in a person’s life.

It’s like saying Ariel, The Little Mermaid, who got gadgets and gizmos a plenty and got whozits and whazits galore is a hoax. Therefore it’s like saying that my favorite Disney character – Ursula, The Wicked Sea Witch – is a duping practical joke. Oh, c’mon!

Sorry NOAA, but I will forever believe in mermaids and please stay out of this beautiful mess. Start getting a decent life, for Zeus’ sake! I just hope those poor unfortunate souls working in NOAA won’t meet King Triton on their way to their respective offices, for he must be very angry and easily strike them with his trident and turn them into sea polyps.

Wala ako katiwa-tiwala sa NOAA na yan! Mga sinungaling!

Ursula

Posted on December 5, 2010 by heavenliner

Who is your Facebook cartoon character profile picture until December 6? (The peaceful protest against violence towards children) Mine was Ursula, the sea witch. She is the overweight yet cool and seductive evil villain in Disney’s The Little Mermaid. In my opinion she’s the perfect villain, balancing out being intolerably evil and funny as hell!

She is one of the full-pledged wicked antagonists that creeps me out by just merely looking at her mole. Add up her terrifying character, her husky smoky voice plus the spine-chilling humongous laughter, you’ve got a perfectly dark vicious piece of work.

Aside from the magnificent soundtrack, for me, the reason why Disney’s The Little Mermaid movie was so successful was because of this terrifying fat octopus lady. Her song “Poor Unfortunate Souls” was even revived by Jonas Brothers. She swelled into monstrous proportions, she literally slashed boats apart with her tentacles, she crashed the ocean waves and she turned the heavens into stormy skies!

I know that Ursula’s nasty tentacles were defeated in the end. It is even considered that Ursula had one of the most petrifying deaths of all Disney movies. But two of the most powerful lines uttered by this ruthless thug can actually be based on awful truths:

Don’t underestimate the importance of body language!

Life’s full of tough choices… isn’t it?

Walang bida kung walang kontra bida! Yu pur unportyuneyt sowls!!!

Kulangot Monologue

Posted on November 19, 2010 by heavenliner

Kulangot. Let me say it again, ku…la…ngot… Kulangot is a byproduct of mucus. It’s a dried-up snot otherwise known as booger in English. It is like a wild exotic fruit that needs some time before it can be appropriately harvested. It needs time to grow and cultivate in an appropriate size so that it will be easy for picking.

If my kulangot was an event in the Philippine history what would it be? It would be the inhabitation of man inside the Tabon cave last 22,000 B.C.

What I like about my kulangot are the many functions that it serves for my body. But what I don’t like about my kulangot are the many functions it serves for my body. It’s like a two way street with only one lane.

If my kulangot was an astronomical body floating into space, what would it be? It would be a gentle sloping molten meteor covered in snow, pure and pristine yet cold and unwelcoming. Or a humongous asteroid that shoots down to earth and kills an entire continent.

In a dating game arena, my gentle and loving booger though very clingy is constantly in the playing-hard-to-get field. It’s like a porcupine whose quills stand up on end when on the defense of being picked up.

If my booger was a movie, what would it be? It would be The Blob or Escape From Alcatraz or King Kong. If my kulangot was a famous movie line, what would it be? It would be the line uttered by Maximus Decimus Meridius in the movie Gladiator… “I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.”

Boogers can be squishy and slimy or tough and crumbly. Everybody gets them, so they’re not a big deal. In fact, boogers are a sign that your nose is working the way it should!

May tadyak, batok at sapak ang nagsasabing di sya kinukulangot.

The Devil Inside the Church

Posted on September 10, 2010 by heavenliner

A friend’s friend told me a shocking story of a person who will soon be convicted of qualified theft in a grandiose scale and will soon spend the remaining years of his life in prison. My friend’s friend told me that this mortal being is known in public as a Taong Simbahan (a church person). Contrary to his true and authentic lawbreaking character and with his scheming lies and evil manipulations, he was able to project himself as a good-natured child of God.

He never misses to go to church and attend the Holy Mass everyday prior to going to his workplace. He is a self-proclaimed devotee of The Lady of Manaoag and never misses the yearly grueling street procession of a beautiful and richly robed image of the Virgin Mary called ‘Nuestra Senora de La Naval’. On Ash Wednesdays, he is one of the first mortals who display ash-laden foreheads making all people who cross his path early in the morning feel guilty of not having one yet. If attendance is to be checked and awarded on the presence of the population who attended the Filipino Simbang Gabi (midnight mass) tradition during Christmas Season, he would receive the Perfect Attendance recognition on a yearly basis. He knows every mysterious mysteries of the Holy Rosary. What was even so absurd to know was that he was an Hermano Mayor (a major sponsor) in a fiesta celebration for the feast of a certain Catholic saint in his hometown province.

With all these irrational representation of this person being relayed to me by my friend’s friend, I was left outraged. I could not believe that such a bipolar and lunatic account could exist. I was left shocked and speechless. And all I could say was a borrowed line from a similarly lunatic TV series uttered by Vera Cruz of Vera Couture from the telenovela Magkaribal — “I thought the devil wasn’t allowed in church.” Well, he may be allowed in church but soon this is going to be the church behind prison bars.

Kung din man yan makulong, may kanta si Boy George para sa kanya… Ol togeder naw! “karma-karma-karma-kamiliyon…”

Nengkoy

ruminations & travesties of the favorite yet naughty son of Nengkoy

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