English the universal language has been the major tool of mankind in bridging gaps and solidifying unity.  However, English language if analyzed is actually a bit confusing.  A list of things that immediately entered my crazy brain are the following:

1. Why do people call an elevator with the same word when the car is going down?  Isn’t it supposed to be called “delevator”?
2. Similarly, why is the automatic moving stairs called escalator still called an escalator when it’s going down? Isn’t it supposed to be called “descalator”?
3. Why do people eat a cured ham?  Has it been sick?
4. A chicken that has been bled and pulled off its feathers is called a “dressed chicken”.
5. A clubhouse sandwich doesn’t have a house neither a club in between bread buns.

Siguro kulang na ‘ko sa tulog…

With my more than 30 years of existence living a life in the Philippines, I do not recall a moment when the jeepney fare has gone down.  At present, minimum fare is pegged at seven pesos and fifty centavos (Php7.50).  But come Monday, December 11, 2006 the jeepney fare will rollback to Php7.00.

This good news enthuse me to take a jeepney ride on Monday when going to the office to validate if the report is factual and to test if the driver will go bonkers when I hand over my seven-peso payment.   

At this early point in time, I am trying to consider where is the best place to sit when taking this exciting ride.  Two spots easily entered my loony brain.  The back most seats and the one right in front (not in the middle beside the driver but the one on the leftmost portion).

Common obvious reasons for these two seat areas are:

1. You can get into the vehicle with no trouble of slamming into other passengers’ knees while moving inside in an awkward posture
2. You can have a 180 degree peripheral vision of the sights outside the jeepney
3. You can easily alight from the vehicle when you reach your destination
4. When there is a holdup situation, you can jump out in a jiffy and spare yourself from losing your money and your cellphone. (Never mind the plastic cards in the wallet since you can easily block them by immediately calling the bank/s.  I will also not mind losing my pictures in my wallet, since I can always cut those out from fashion magazines.  Joke!)
5. You will be the least victim of smelling the gas of other passengers who relieved themselves from flatulence! Thus, there’s no need to shout, “Sino umutot?!”

Other reasons for selecting the backmost seat:

1. It’s a custom for commuters when seated in the middle or inner most portions to assist the driver in handling over payments of passengers seated on the backmost spots.  Thus, you need not have to bother passing other’s money/fare to the driver.
2. You would not suffer from smelling the stench emanating from the driver’s or co-passenger’s kilikili (translation: underarm)

Other reasons for selecting the seat in front (a seat away from the driver):

1. You can easily handover your pamasahe (translation: jeepney fare) to manong driver
2. Jeepney’s side mirror is right in front of you! Instead of looking into the sullied, grubby and polluted metropolis, you can always look into the mirror and check your face out.  (It always gives me a good laugh when I see passengers busy looking into the side mirror and would check their teeth out or would pluck out their nose hairs!)

Philippines did a great job!  The World Economic Forum recently identified the Philippines being the top 6 among 115 countries to have the smallest gender gap.  This means that our country’s hoi polloi – male and female – seem to have an equal standing in society compared to other nationalities.  Our stupendous country is the only Asian country to have made it in the top 10.

The size of the “gender gap” study was based on educational attainment, access to high-skilled employment, political empowerment, life expectancy and level of salary among others.

Here’s a bunch of my zany personal suspicions why we were included in the top:

1. Our president – though a midget – is female.
2. A stupid British Dictionary in mid-1990’s defined Filipina as “domestic helper”
3. In 2004 Asian Development Bank study shows that 65% of OFWs are women
4. The Bar exam topnotcher for 2004 and 2005 were female
5. According to 2000 census, there’s more loony dudes than dudettes
6. In every Pinoy showbiz awards night people would franticly wait for the announcement of the best actress award and would not care who won best actor
7. Pinoy Superstar, Megastar, Diamond Star, Star for All Seasons are all female
8. All Pinoy Big Brother winners were female (Nene, Kim and Keanna)
9. Or maybe, general portion of this generation’s male population of the nation is simply stupid!

Kudos to all folks!

It was that day when I craved for a Calzone stuffed with ham and cheese from Sbarro.  When I finally got one, I shared a portion of it to Ariel (an officemate) since I normally cannot finish the whole thing.  He told me that such chow is so darn filling and heavy in the stomach like the popular bread served during our grade school days called “nutri-bun”.

Nutri-bun sold compulsory to all students during break time made me recall some possessions I had when I was in my grade school days.  Being the 5^th child, it’s quite hard to possess an item during my childhood that I can actually call my own since I am part of those jackass creatures who benefited from the very cost worthy hand-me-downs. 

If these items are still present, these can be considered vintage by today’s generation.  Some of which are…

1.  Superman T-Shirt

I still remember I was with my mom buying this piece of clothing at Harrison Plaza.  Harrison Plaza during that time was the hippest mall then.  She let me chose the color.  I pointed the light yellow colored one.

2.  PanAm Bag

This light blue colored bag was the one I used and brought to school when I was in my 3rd grade.  My parents allowed me to use it.  My father got one in the 70’s as a giveaway from the PanAm airline when he went back from Saudi Arabia from one of his annual vacations from his job.

3.  Game & Watch

When I was eleven my mother purchased me this handled electronic game unit.  You will be considered one of the cool dudes in school if you own one.  Mine was the Octopus game with a clock and an alarm.  After a little more than a month, I got so familiar with the game that the score would go back to zero when you reach the score of 999.

In the office this afternoon, busy and stressed with work – opening 5 restaurants this month, running a training center, operating the HR needs of 14 existing restaurants – I suddenly hear myself humming a rhythm.  While working focused on something at the computer, without any clue and external clout, I was uttering the lyrics and humming the haunting classic Pinoy song "Payapang Daigdig" (translation: Peaceful World).

Ang gabi’s payapa

Lahat ay tahimik

Pati mga tala sa bughaw na langit

Kay hinhin ng hangin, wari’y umiibig

Sa kapayapaan ng buong daigdig.

Payapang panahon

Ay diwa ng buhay

Biyaya ng Diyos

Sa sangkatauhan

Ang gabi’y payapa, lahat ay tahimik

Pati mga tala

Sa bughaw na langit.

This song as I researched from the internet was written in 1945 by the great Philippine National Artist Felipe De Leon.  It was originally not a Christmas hymn but was written in "the morning after thousands have died and saw that bombs during the Second World War had leveled the entire city of Manila".

At first I thought I was just buzzing it because Christmas is nearing.  But after learning this significant fact, I knew that my subconscious is actually trying to convey that after all this demanding, stressful and taxing condition in the office peace and tranquility will soon follow. 

I guess it’s my spontaneous way to avert my nutty self from imploding!

Whatever happened to Mazinger Z?  Mazinger Z is an anime robot that is a contemporary of Voltes V and Daimos.  All these animated android TV programs were shown in the ‘70s.   If my memory serves me right, in the mid-90s the other two that I mentioned were re-released on Philippine TV but not Mazinger Z!

Maybe it’s because Mazinger Z is not as strong as that of the other two.  All I can remember that Mazinger Z can do was to use the laser beams emanating from its eyes plus the rocket punch attack.  It is unlike Voltes V with various ammunitions and Daimos having the superb martial arts skills that can no doubt eradicate the forces of evil into smithereens.

I can still recall that because of the limited power of Mazinger Z (he can’t even fly in the initial episodes), he had a number of robot allies.  One of which was Aphrodite A.  This robot had female features and is being run and operated by a girl named Sayaka.  The only ammunition of Aphrodite A is her breast that can be launched as missiles.

A couple of hilarious episodes need Mazinger Z to fly to exterminate a mechanical beast on midair.  For him to go up the air, Aphrodite A needs to release her missile breast and Mazinger Z needs to run after these breasts (I mean missiles) and hold on to it until he’s brought up the air.

Isn’t that silly? Or maybe sleazy!  No matter what, I miss Mazinger Z.

For more than a year now, everywhere you look, chic Pinoys are wearing the funky looking rubber thong sandals.  This fad has definitely hit the fashion world.  Hollywood celebrities are wearing Havaianas making it so cool to own one.  Other fashion designers would spunk up these sandals by putting beads, buttons and even rhinestones on the thong portion.  But before this silly craze, every rich and poor Flipino has some point in their life have owned and worn a pair of these sandals.

During my childhood days, cool people call it slippers.  Now, trendy dudes and dudettes call it flip-flops.  For me it remains to be called ‘tsinelas‘.  What is so ironic about this craze is if you are to wear tsinelas a couple of years back in malls, in church or go to school people will think that you are broke and can’t afford to buy shoes or sneakers.

Unlike me, I’m sure fashionable conyotics won’t use their expensive glorified tsinelas to whack occasional ipis that crosses their path.

Philippines being a tropical country only have dry and wet season.  It is so funny to see Pinoys immediately sporting their jackets and sweaters even with a slight drizzle.  Every time rain drops in the morning, people leaving their houses for school or office will pull out their jacktes or sweaters from their closet and will wear it the whole day even though after lunch the sun is angrily shining.  A heavy proof that Pinoys love to dress up!

I am not a fashion guru neither am I aspiring to be one.  But like any typical Pinoy, I also love to gussy up.  That is why, I abhor personalities who, no matter how expensive their clothing is, still look preposterous from my own personal valuation.  With this, listed below are my top 5 worst dressed men for the year.  They are…

• Top 5 – Lito Atienza.  I simply hate the floral short sleeved polo for this mayor.  He may have established an image that is not typical of a politician in "barong" through this attire.  His fashion statement may have brought him to Manila’s highest local government post, but he is totally stumpy and grumpy if you would compare him to the great Statesman and Senator Raul Roco who also has the same fashion campaign strategy.

• Top 4 – Mark Bautista.  This singer always wears winter clothes every time I would see him on TV.  Even during the hot summer season, Mark struts on stage wearing either a thick jacket or layered knitted shirts on top of each other and even a mufler around his neck.  I suggest he wears ear muffs for the total winter look all year round!

• Top 3 – Eagle Riggs.  He is a popular figure of Pinoy mornings for he is a part of the pack in Unang Hirit morning TV show.  He looks snaggy since this guy likes to wear over-sized t-shirts and baggy pants.  Eagle should learn from one of my fashion principles… "Wear baggy to look baggy, wear fit to look fit!"

• Top 2 – Tim Yap.  He may be the envy of all fashionistas but I plainly do not like his style.  It’s too outrageous for my taste.  But if you are the type of person who wants to be easily noticed (because of bizarre to outlandish taste) on gatherings, you can follow the footstep of this social climbing specialist.

• Top 1 – Boy Abunda.  Every time I got the chance to watch his TV show, his clothing simply look silly and ridiculous!  I am very surprised to know that his outfits would come from well known top designers.  (He thank them during each program.)  It’s not the garment, it’s not the design and definitely not the designer.  It’s simply Boy Abunda who regrettably cannot carry these pricey outfits.

I am a juvenile member of Friendster.  I can still recall my nieces Erika, Kim and Trisha constructing my profile last December 2004 at Nengkoy’s crib.  I just modified it after a couple of months.

It’s disappointing to know that Friendster has been overtaken by MySpace in terms of registered membership.  The last time I checked, MySpace has more than 54 million while Friendster only has 24 million members.

A bundle of people have shifted to MySpace because of its innovation and added media formats.  MySpace provided more freedom to its users that such liberty is being abused by its members.  That is why booty callers and social predators lurks and thrives in this site.  This exploitation in Net Freedom has actually started to become a moral issue in the US.  I’m convinced this network will be in big trouble sooner than it thought.

What I like about Friendster is its wholesomeness on trying to keep each profile clean.  They can draw the line on what is abusive and what is socially acceptable.

I don’t want to sound so square and conventional because that is totally not me.  But for this vulnerable social networking issue, controls must truly be imposed.  So what if MySpace has more members?  I won’t befriend all of them anyway… Zzzzz

The last time the Philippines placed as a first runner up was in 1999 Miss Universe beauty pageant.  Pinoys will never forget the moment when Miriam Quiambao almost made it to the top.

This year, the Philippines again failed to be at the top.  This occassion is not in the Miss Universe pageant or any other international beauty title.  It is about being the Most Corrupt country in Asia.  We loose to Indonesia!

Yes people!  Philippines is the 2nd most corrupt country in whole Asia.  I blame all the government officials and employees!  They’re such a bunch of wimps!

They could have cheated and pocketed more money from the people!  They could have received more bribes!  They could have corrupted better!  They could have scraped more cash out from the government’s money pot!  Pinoys won’t mind.  Pinoys have been experiencing this for the past 25 years or so.  We must not allow any other country to be on top concerning this filthy reputation.

All government employees must and needs to undergo retraining so that next year we will be at the prime standing! A strict "fraudulent and dishonesty test" must be given to those entering the government.  2006 Nursing Board Exam cheaters can be exempted from this exam.  They’re already qualified for high ranking position in the government.

The administration must ban those investigative TV programs showing the great corruption practices in the government.  This inhibits these people to continue their cunning money making ventures like ‘kotong’, kickbacks,under-the-table-transactions and ‘local government 15/30 employees payroll scheme’.

We should never allow being just a second fiddle!  The President must include this in her agenda.  Now that she is gearing towards creating mega-metro-regions, there would be more funds to be stolen!

The Philippines will not be the Philippines without corruption!  Next year, if the country won’t be selected as the most corrupt, I might start thinking of migrating to another country.  Where?  Maybe Indonesia!