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About heavenliner

a twisted little soul... people see me to be so delicious they sometimes want to eat me...

Side-splitting Mornings

“Una, magdasal ka para mabuhay ka,

pangalawa, mag-toothbrush ka para mabuhay naman ang iba!”

“Take care ’cause I care

‘Cause wherever you are, there you are

If there you are, here we are!”

Okay, call me jologs if you want.  But I must admit I laugh and laugh hard every time I have the chance to listen to this particular radio show “Tambalang Balasubas at Balahura” by Chris Tsuper and Nicole Hyala on 90.7 Love Radio.

I always look forward to riding a cab going to the office on weekdays because for sure the taxi driver is tuned-in to this hilarious radio show.  With their spontaneous laugh-inviting jokes, contagious glee and smart impromptu on-air chat, the chemistry is so evident between the two DJs.  While inside the cab, listening, I would sometimes try to control myself and would just pass a smile on my face feeling embarrassed with the driver.  But a lot of times, I would burst into laughter.

Chris and Nicole usually receive and pick foolish questions from listeners like “Bakit ang lamok merong pakpak ang elepante wala?”  They would talk about hadhad, buhok sa lalamunan, sumpa, korona ng patay, androids, merthiolate, baku-bakong legs, etc.

On time, the DJs gave advise to a letter sender relaying that the girl he is pursuing has body odor.  Here’s what they advised… “Alam mo kabisyo ang anghit, madali lang yan solusyonan.  Kalamansi lang ang katapat nyan sabi ng mga lola namin.  Lagyan mo ng dinikdik na bato at saka katas ng malunggay.  Tapos imumog mo!” – followed by a stupefying laughter by both DJs.

One question went, “Magkapatid ba si Robinhood at Little Red Riding Hood?”  Their answer: “No, mag-neighborhood lang sila”, followed by a their riotous laughter.

These DJs are never pretentious and are very natural.  I consider it an effective morning rush-hour antidote.  Their laughter is so infectious.  They laugh at their own jokes and sometimes they would laugh at their own laughter.

Uhmm, aminin nakikinig ka din…

Amazing KhaoSarn

Spending 4 days in Thailand was simply breathtaking.  I got to experience a culture that is totally different from the Philippines.

 

Neil_in_temple_1 With their new-fashioned airport, I was astounded.  With their exquisite Buddhist temples, I was bewildered.  With their fast moving Tuktuk, I was stupefied.  With their terrible road traffic, I was shocked.  With their gigantic Central World, the biggest mall in Southeast Asia, I was amazed.  With their majestic Grand Palace, I was entranced.  With their enticing spicy food, I was delighted.  With their relaxing foot massage, I was pleased.  With their unexpected hospitality, I was surprised.  With their orange-clad and slipper-less monks, I was enchanted.

But nothing measured up to the experience I had in Thailand when I walked along the bohemian street of KhaoSarn Road.  It is considered the backpackers’ home and tourists’ cubbyhole in Thailand.

 

Khaosarn_road_4 Aside from the never ending hive of activity, I found almost everything in KhaoSarn Road.  Trendy stylish clothes, rare exotic street food, pumped-up trance dance clubs, swank voguish bistros and coffee shops, incalculable money changer stations, inimitable roadside artists and performers, soothing massage salons, low-priced bling-blings, hair-raising hair-braiders, drunk smelly tourists, lost tourists, happy tourists, dancing tourists, tourists victimized by pickpockets, suspicious looking fortune-tellers, countless budget guesthouses, worn-out sleepy Thai policemen, juvenile henna tattoo artists, fake driver’s license fixers, etc. 

I may not fell fully in love with Thailand, but I definitely enjoyed and was truly impressed on the liveliness of KhaoSarn Road.

Yun nga lang… walang BINATOG sa KhaoSarn!

Inmates in Limelight

My cable TV do have CNN, BBC, Discovery, Animal Planet, HBO, Disney and other popular international channels.  But I don’t know what specific cable channel provider in the Philippines shows the American ABC channel.

Recently, ABC channel in the US featured a documentary presenting the backstory of the most popularly viewed viral video in YouTube for the past weeks.  The "Thriller – Pinoy Inmates" video exploded in the internet and was overwhelmingly rife that CNN even featured it in one of their stories.  I personally have seen the short CNN news feature.  The CNN news feature was not as comprehensive as the ABC report.

I know Pinoys have the tendency to imitate other people who are featured in the news, like those dim witted mortals going up the billboards in EDSA so as to catch media’s attention.   I hope that this won’t send a wrong message to Pinoy morons that a way to be popular in the internet, they need to be in jail.

Hate it or be proud of it.  Personally, I’m not pleased with it.  But you be the judge on how others see us…

Umeksena na naman ang mga Pinoy… tsk, tsk, tsk!

Murdering Pinoy Education

In one of those beauty pageants in the province, host asks contestant…

Host: So Miss, what’s your motto?
Contestant: Uhhh, “unto-unto others, unto-unto you…”

Thanks to the internet.  I finally read the full text of the ads/article that was recently placed and/or published by Antonio Cajilpo Go in Philippine Daily Inquirer.

The ads discussed and enumerated the conceptual, factual and language errors in the textbooks of Pinoy public elementary schools.  These textbooks are considered instructional materials approved by the Department of Education.

Children I am not very good in the use of the English language but I had odd moods when I read the errors.  It was super funny but very disheartening.  It is so depressing to read all these boo-boos that the new breed Pinoys will be learning and needs to be unlearned later in life.  I totally agree with Mr. Go by saying that these mistakes need to be corrected since its killing Philippine education slowly but surely.

Some of the hilarious mistakes indicated were:

The typhoon is moving in a northeasternly direction.

Some plants are self-planters.  They plant their own seeds.

Life is the fast rising of the sun that shines on the earth which goes around it fast. Life is the late realization that life is gone and we discover it late.

I’m capable of being the best me I can.

Do animals move only when the wind blows? What animals don’t move when there is no wind but move when the wind blows?

“Here’s for you!” the guard said while hitting Basilio.  Sisa’s husband was different from most husbands who are responsible to their families.

Galileo invented a magnifying telescope to study the moon.

The farmer is hopeful that someday he will reap with joy.  He put up a scarecrow to send the birds away.

Not all mountains are made by wrinkles in the ground.

Fishing means catching all kinds of living animals in the water like oysters and clams.

Open door on back of camera, place film and close camera door.

The hen walked coquetly.

The chicken was dressed.  They stripped off her feathers, served her quite bare and everyone poked at her breast.

“I don’t eat meat, I’m not a carnival!” – Melanie Marquez

Luis Clamor

Patis He is a 10-year old kid who thinks like a 30-year old man.  He is a 3rd honor student who can’t be a 2nd or 1st since the 1st honor of the class is the child of the principal and the 2nd honor is the child of his teacher.

A cool dude in his own right, the only child of Ate Gaying and Kuya Willy who enyoys playing with his cousins, the favorite nemesis of Erika, the barkada of Denden, the sweetheart of Nengkoy, the patis of Kuya Wreigh.

He is a kiddo that is well nursed and provided with by his parents, from books to clothes to shoes to foodstuffs to plastic toys to electronic toys.

He is a boob tube addict who can spend the whole day with Mr. Bean, The Rugrats, Dexter’s Laboratory, Picachu, Sponge Bob Square Pants, Tom and Gerry, Avatar, Muk, Robot Boy and a lot more.

One of my darkest skinned Ilocano looking nephew, Luis Clamor is the kid who celebrated his 10th birthday last July 12.

Happy Birthday Patis!

Nutty, Addicted & Bejeweled

Bejeweled Sunday night my brain melted.  I wasted more than 6 precious hours of my life in front of the computer playing Bejeweled 2, a Yahoo on-line game.  I dealt with triangular, square, circular and hexagonal shaped stones of various colors trying to align it so as to reach the next level.

I experienced various emotions while playing.  There were times I was happy for the luck that struck but there were more times I was mad due to the wrong placements and decisions I made.  I was so nutty that I would actually shout at my computer saying that its mother belongs to the oldest profession!

Every time the game would end for I no longer have any move option, I would always whisper to myself to play one last time.  By the time I decided to stop and close the computer, I was exhausted and was already suffering from catatonia.  My eye lids could no longer held up, my right hand was numb and my back was killing me.

During sleep, my neurotransmitters kept on shooting and my brain is still running with the remnants of the game.  My dream continued on, playing with the semi-precious stones… instead, I dreamt swallowing all those colored stones that come my way.

I would not recommend this game… daig pa yata ang shabu, nakaka-adik ang mga batong ‘yan!

French Week…

Samedi, 07 Juillet 2007

No I have not been to France (how I wish I was), but this week I have been bombarded with a lot of French connections…

1.  I have been following this year’s Wimbeldon tournament and surprisingly Richard Gasquet entered the semi-finals.  As expected, this young Frenchman lost the game to my favorite tennis player and world’s number one, Roger Federrer.

2.  Also, an unlikely finalist of women’s Wimbeldon is a young, chubby yet powerful French lady, Marion Bartoli.  She is this year’s runner-up in Wimbeldon after she had a beating by the American, Venus Williams.

3.  This week’s number one movie is entitled "Ratatouille".  Before it became a movie title, ratatouille is actually a French vegetable soup.  Ratatouille now is a new Disney animated movie set in France being starred by the newest Disney mouse (not Mickey this time).

4.  I was asked by our Executive Sous Chef on how to properly pronounce the French word of fresh vegetables appetizer that will be served in one of the parties of the restautants that we operate.  The French word was "crudites" which Pinoys would expectedly read as "kru-dits" but the right pronunciation is "kru-di-tey".

5.  I have read in the news that the Eiffel Tower of France is a nominee in an internet poll for the New Seven Wonders of the World.

6.  Last night, while watching a French film "Le Fabuleux Dentin D’ Amelie Poulain" my dinner is a big burger with lots and lots of French fries…

Au revoir… A la prochaine…

Transformers

Transtorm Only few movies could not make me stand up and leave my seat inside a movie house for a while to take a leak.  A Michael Bay film entitled Transformers is one of them.

It’s about alien robots that turns into cars!  Transformers is fast, often silly, hilarious and loud with lots of spectacular mass destructions.  The visual effects were pretty astonishing.  The transformation sequences from cars to robots or robots to cars are smoothly done.  I could hear myself uttering “wow”!  Fight scenes are like suave hypnotic kung fu moves.

Transfrom2 Transformers was never an integral part of my youth unlike Voltes V, Mazinger Z, Superman, Mekanda Robot and Daimos but I totally enjoyed watching the awesome movie.  I was not a huge fan of the cartoons edition during my teenage days that is why there are times I am confused on who are the Autobots and who are the Decepticons.  But the movie simply provided a sign – the colored ones are the good Autobots while the plain light grayish brown are the evil Decepticons.

You don’t need to bring your brain when you go and watch this film.  It offers nothing but fun, fun, fun!

I just wonder if Optimus Prime is being run by an environment friendly alternative fuel like coco diesel…

Happy One Year Anniversary!

Candle It’s been a year that I have started onto this blog.  It was never a plan, just a spur of the moment.  There were a lot that I shouldda, wouldda and couldda have written.  But just like what others say… you have to live for the day in the present and what is done is done.

A year has passed and I hope I’m right in deciding to continue on with this.  Expect more exciting and thought-provoking random thoughts from yours truly!

Cheers!

A Spice Called UMA…

Uma2 It’s Uma to the rescue!  A welcome change from the monotonous and boring past episodes, it’s about time a genuine housemate enters the house.  Uma Khouny known for his sharp wit, brutal honesty and blunt comments added spice into Pinoy Big Brother Season 2.

I can still recall the first season when Uma with atrocious frankness would give his vicious opinions about Jo D Mango (having a face of a worm), Madam Auring (having a scary face), Boy Abunda (having a bad fashion taste) and Kris Aquino (too "kikay" self-conscious to be the country’s president) which actually made eyebrows raised.  Truth hurts you know?!

Uma Unlike the first season, almost all of season 2’s housemates are bland and unexciting that is why I seldom watch the show. With more than 100 days running, the two episodes when Uma was in the house were the most exciting and most hilarious.  True to the analysis of Uma, this season’s housemates play the game too safely to the point of being pretentious and mind-numbs.  Uma simply brought the house down and gave life back to PBB2.  He was all but natural.

I’m sure even Big Brother himself enjoyed Uma’s stay inside the house.