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About heavenliner

a twisted little soul... people see me to be so delicious they sometimes want to eat me...

A Fan of A Golden Girl

Yeah Madonna! This month celebrates the Material Girl’s 50th birthday.  She is now a dashing golden girl.  Ever since she started in the entertainment industry, I have been mesmerized by her persona.  I may be considered an avid fan ever since she begun.

During my high school and college days, I even cut-out and collect newspaper and magazine write-ups, articles and clippings that would feature her.  All thoughout those days, I stockpile all magazines I could afford that feature her in the cover.

I collected all casette tapes (no CD yet during those times) of all her albums.  Now I have all the original copies (not pirated) of all her CD albums and DVDs of her concerts.  I even bought and listened to Donna DeLory casette tape when she released her own album.  Donna DeLory is a back-up singer and dancer in Madonna’s concerts.  I was one of the first buyers in the Philippines of Jagged Little Pill by Alanis Morisette because – not all people know that – it is Madonna who was the producer of the blockbuster album.

I never voted for Tito Sotto when he ran for a government post during election season because he publicly hated Madonna so much when she turned down an invitation of bringing her concert tour in the Philippines.

During the ’80s and early ’90s I would watch Video Hit Parade and American Top Ten Videos hosted by Casey Casem and later his son just to know her standing.  I joined and won a local radio contest (97.1 WLS FM) when her Like A Prayer album was launched in the country ( I won a tote bag, a t-shirt, a poster, a Madonna printed pencil holder).  I have a collection of Madonna printed mementos: coin banks, pencil cases, pencil holders, tote bags, cigarette cases, stationeries, folders, lighters, belt buckle, etc.  I had the biggest “Who’s That Girl” concert tour poster inside my room sent to me from USA by my cousins in Chicago.  I even commit to memory every lines and stanzas of all her songs – released and unreleased.  I watched all her movies starting from Desperately Seeking Susan.

In 2006 and 2007 Christmas Parties, I danced to her tune when my department joined the party’s dance contest.  Lastly, I am one of the first souls ever in the country to have purchased her latest Hard Candy CD.

Yun yon!

Pasay Tennis Open

For the past years, there has been an upsurge in the number of tennis tournaments being held in key cities and countries around the globe.  Of course there’s the 4 major grandslams: US Open, Australian Open, French Open and Wimbeldon.  Some of the less popular tennis tournaments are:

  • Monte Carlo Open (in Monaco); Generali Open (in Austria);
  • Dubai Duty Free Open; Heineken Open (in New Zealand);
  • Brasil Open; Chennai Open (in India);
  • Estoril Open (in Portugal); Qatar Total Open;
  • Gerry Weber Open and BMW Open (in Germany);
  • Ordina Open and Dutch Open (in the Netherlands);
  • Thailand Open; China Open; Romania Open;
  • Croatia Open; Prague Open (in Czech Republic);
  • Korea Open; and, Tashkent Open (in Uzbekistan)

Tennis All these competitions and others that I failed to mention makes all tennis players – top seeds and "seedless" alike – to be very busy all year round.  Martina Navratilova in her recent Wimbeldon interview was even bothered by the increase of tennis competitions around the globe.  Navratilova expressed that she wanted fewer yet grander games in each event.

Considering that there are a lot of tennis competitions going on, never in the history of world tennis that a Pinoy made his or her mark.  That is why I am suggesting that our country should join the bandwagon of setting up our own tennis open – Pinoy style.  Let’s call it Pasay Open.  To establish prestige, invited players must only be from the top 30 seeds of the year plus the chosen Pinoy players.  To make it more different from the usual tennis open held around the world, there will be no singles or doubles event.  Instead, Pasay Open will only hold triples event.

Our Pinay contenders for the female triple event will be:

  1. Maricel Soriano, the actress with the hardest hitting hands when it comes to "sampalan" (face slapping) scenes in Philippine cinema.  For sure her whipping forehand would equal the forehand strokes of Maria Sharapova and Jelena Jankovic.
  2. Annabelle Rama, the monster mom of celebrity actress Ruffa Gutierrez.  With her mere stare, sisters Serena and Venus Williams will surely get inimidated resulting for them to shut up and stop their annoying grunts every time they hit the ball.
  3. Bea Alonzo, one of the local "pa-cute" actresses with the most beautiful face for aesthetic purposes.  This is to match the beauty, elegance and charm of Elena Dementieva and the world’s number 1 seed Ana Ivanovic.

While the male triple event Pinoy players are composed of:

  1. Manny ‘Pacman’ Pacquiao, the present king of the boxing ring to counterpart the present king of the tennis court, world’s number 1 Roger Federrer.
  2. Brandon ‘The Truth’ Vera, the Pinoy mixed martial arts athlete of UFC or ‘The Animal’ Batista of WWF.  Their body slams on the canvass can equal the racket slams of Marat Safin.  Also, their big bulging muscles and their large butts are bigger than those of Rafael ‘Vamos’ Nadal.
  3. Neil ‘Delicious’ Langit, a true-blue Pasay citizen to match the pretty face and young agility of Novak Djokovic and Andy Murray.

Sige sali na nga ako para merong "home court advantage".

Eskaleytor

Escalator_2 I don’t remember when was the first time I ever stepped on and rode an escalator.  The longest escalator I have ever ridden is the one in Ocean Park in Hong Kong.  While the fastest that I have been to are the ones in Singapore leading to the coaches of their metro train.  The most crowded is the one in MRT Taft station while the slimmest is the one in Robinson’s Ermita, each flight of step can only accommodate one slim person.

While in Australia, I learned an escalator etiquette.  Thanks to Josel Javier viuda de Ledger he thought me to always stay at the left side of the stairs.  He explained that the right side must not be blocked and should always be open to serve as an overtake passage way for those who are in a hurry.

With modern technology thriving nowadays, I have yet to see a spiral type of escalator.  This could be pretty fun among kids who considers escalators as a kiddie cool ride.

However, the term escalator seems to be a misnomer for a conveyor transport device moving up or down.  It is from the root word “escalate” meaning to go up, to rise or to soar high.  Escalator being a name for a stairs going up is fine and okay.  But what about the escalator going down, isn’t it supposed to be called a “descalator”?

Anong Tagalog sa escaltor? Answer: Hagdang Sosyal

Outrageous Wishes & Ways of Making it Come True

This is not my bucket list but simply my wildest wants.  I guess everybody got their own outrageous wish… Here’s mine…

  1. Watch a musical production in Broadway, New York USA
  2. Witness an opening ceremony of the modern Summer Olympics
  3. Dance among the crowd in a Madonna concert
  4. Cheer in Wimbeldon’s Men’s Tennis Finals in Britain
  5. Be a studio audience in Oprah’s "Favorite Things" episode
  6. Party in a Carnival Parade in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil
  7. Ride a gondola in Venice

These are not actually impossible.  Come to think of it… it’s doable.  All I need are bazillions of money, grace from the Holy, enourmous connections and tons of luck.

Other ways to make these wishes come true is for me to:

  1. eat a lot of chicken breast to find and break the wish-bone
  2. be a politician and get all people’s money
  3. go to churches that I haven’t been to and start wishing, one church per wish
  4. go to all parks in the metropolis and rummage around for a four leaf clover
  5. lie down on my building’s roof every night to search for the elusive shooting stars
  6. blow other’s candles on their birthday cake during parties
  7. go to Ongpin to buy and wear all those lucky charms and crystals
  8. buy mega lotto tickets
  9. drop a coin in every wishing-wells and wishing-fountains that I run into
  10. rub all oil-lamps that I stumble upon
  11. go to Ongpin again to eat and break a lot of fortune cookies
  12. lie on my back under every banana tree’s heart-shaped fruit/flower to wait and swallow its crystal clear solid drop discharge called Mutya.

Dream big.  Libre yon!

Shortages & Overages in Education

A new school year is on! Going to school has always been fun.  However, it’s so ironic that the country’s so called "education system" doesn’t seem to "educate" itself.  Every year it’s the same old glitch that the system is face with:

  • shortage in the number of classrooms
  • shortage in the number of teachers
  • shortage in the number of books
  • shortage in the brain cells of teachers
  • shortage in the teachers’ pay and perks
  • shortage in the conducive-to-learning school facilities
  • shortage in modern learning techniques and modules
  • overage in the sky-rocketing school fees
  • overage in the sky-rocketing prices of school supplies
  • overage in the terror-loving teachers
  • overage in the disease-causing school canteen food
  • overage in the filthy and rundown school facilities
  • overage in the old and rickety classrooms
  • overage in the old and obsolete learning tools

We claim that we are an intelligent race yet every soul in the country knows that these are the perennial problems of the education system existing for more than a lifetime.  Also, every soul discerns how to simply solve the problem.  But the will and impetus to solve such has been very hard to pin down.

Ang tatalino!

A Realistic Tale about the Glass Slipper

Ugly_5 I just finished reading another fun book!  Gregory Maguire’s Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister is about the intimate and moving tale of two nasty looking sisters: Ruth, a mute and whom everyone assumes to be dim-witted; and Iris, a talented, smart, practical and delightful girl minus the aesthetic beauty. 

The novel cleverly recreates the Cinderella story without the magic spells, without the fairy godmother, without the prince in shining armor, without the happily-ever-after concept.    It rectifies the usual clichés and stereotypes.  It relates that not all stepparents are wicked; not all ugly girls are dreadful, undeserving, and unlovable; and not all beautiful girls are good, commendable and amiable.  The novel in some way would illuminate that beauty can sometimes be a curse. The “Cinderella” character in the novel is actually spoiled, capricious and annoying!

I thought Iris was the most interesting character in the book, but the ending packs a lot of wallop in which I did not expect Ruth would truly astonish and surprise me.  The book shows that there are always more than two sides to a story.  It’s a great all-around fabulous tale from a grown-up’s point of view.

Sabi ko na nga ba luka luka yang si Sinderela eh.  Mabuhay ang mga panget!

Corregidor Island

Corregidor One of the surprisingly and amazingly organized places in the Philippines, Corregidor Island boasts of its majestic beauty and historic sifnificance.  The small island that I recently visited was way beyond my expectations.  Everything was orderly and well planned that could be comparable to Singapore’s Sentosa Island without the thrilling rides but contains the rubbles and ruins left by World War II.  Even the tour guides were impressive, sharing and relaying short anecdotes significant about the island (from the people who’s been there down to the trees and animals that thrive around).  I was glad that I got to set foot to this historic island.  It was simply amazing.

The sight that truly impressed me was the stalwart Malinta tunnel.  I thought it was just a single crawlway penetrating underground from one side of the mountain up to the other end.  But what is remarkable are the multiple intricate lateral tunnels branching from the main one that served as a hide-away hospital and bomb shelters during the WWII era.  The historic lateral tunnels are eerie, ragged and humid.  It’s like being in another universe.  From the outside terrain of the mountain, you would not imagine that such creepy structures exist inside it.

One thing that made my heart sank was the presence of trash along the seashore washed away from the filthy and polluted Manila Bay.  A grim reminder that the island is truly located in the Philippines.  The island could have been a perfect foreign tourist destination if not for those eyesore garbage.

Bilib ako.  Promise!

Rosas Pandan (X-Rated Version)

Some would name it as “Rosas Pandan Bastos Version” others would call it the “Tigidong” song.  There is no official title of the song.  No one knows who sang it neither who wrote it, no one dared to step up and admit to be the writer and/or singer.  It is basically an underground hit that will never be played in the mainstream airwaves.

Possessing a weird sense of humor, I laughed hard upon hearing it.  I can’t help myself from hearing the tune since it keeps on resonating persistently in my head.  Its funny, its cunning, it neoteric, its pornographic, its crazy, its vulgar.

I commend who ever wrote the salacious lyrics.  He or she must be a genius.  No ordinary guy or gal can think of utilizing an ancient melody of a Visayan folk song and libidinous words put together to give birth to a naughty yet shrewd musical arrangement.

I would not dare to post the complete lyrics neither post the actual song in this blog since I don’t want to be restrained and banned in the use of this web.  Here’s the lyrics that has been censored…

Ang beep-beep ko na kulay rosas, namumukadkad pag hinimas-himas.

At ang namumulang talulot, dinadaluhong ng mga bubuyog. 

Kapag ako’s na beep-beep, tumutihaya kahit sa lansangan.

At ang bawat makakita’y kaagad akong pinapatungan

Beep-Beep, Beep-Beep, Beep-Beep

Ang beep-beep kong makipot, namumula’t sariwa, namamasa ang hiwa

Tigidong, tigidong, tigidong

Nag beep-beep na si Dodong, mula ng makita ang butas ko at kweba. 

Ganyan ang dalaga, lalo na’t merong beep-beep.

Hoy! Pu-beep-beep mo nag-re-record ako e! (laughter)

Grabe, ibang level ito! Bastuuuuuuuuus!

A Summer Bus Ride

Bus2

Saturday, April 26 was the day of our Support Services’ company summer outing.  I can’t help but write about the adversities I encountered during the bus ride going to Infanta Quezon…

The Bus

The bus left an hour late waiting for the others to arrive.  The bus ride was dizzying going through the sharp curves and turns of the road going up and down the mountains.  The bus was also running slow, I don’t know if it is because the vehicle is ancient or the zigzag road is too dangerous to speed up.

The Aircon

The old bus’ aircon was unfortunately busted. We were literally being baked, roasted and seared inside it.  I was not in the beach yet but I was already soaking wet with sweat.

The Fume

Though inside the very sweltering bus, I tried to grab a nap during the travel.  However, the plan of swindling even a short nap ceased and was impossible when the smell of the burning clutch suddenly breezed through inside the bus.  I admit I was craving for a cigarette during the ride but instead I was treated to a much toxic carbon monoxide stench reeking out from the bus’ motor.

The Adobo

A couple of hours later, I could smell carbon monoxide mixed with Adobo in the air.  It was the moment when no one noticed that the Adobo intended to be served for lunch was knocked down dripping out its sauce on the bus floor.

The Vomit

While inside the humid running bus, I smelled the stench of vomit as puked by the person sitting in front of me.  All the complaints of those people inside made me impatient to alight making the travel being the longest four hours of my whole summer season.

The Drink

I was famished.  I haven’t had breakfast and my throat was dry.  I was given and finished a tasty egg sandwich but I need to endure my cravings for a drink for it was not available inside the bus during the 4-hour bus ride.

The Bladder

Ironically, I never drank any liquid prior to boarding the bus, but my bladder is starting to fill up.  Imagine being sleepy, thirsty, perspiring and wanting to pee all at the same time.

Add all this up plus funny moments with my co-workers equals great summer outing! Panalo!