Dear North Korea,

What the hell have you been thinking?!  I know you are upset with South Korea for having closed a mighty deal with USA to hold a joint military exercise.  But try to think again if you are really pursuing your stupid plans of annihilating the South.  Because I am pretty sure you won’t succeed.

Why? Here’s why…

First, the problem with you is that you have shunned yourself to the world.  You basically have been living under the rock that is why you don’t know that in the past couple of years there has been what is known as the “Korean Wave”.  Which actually should have been coined “South Korean Wave” since this phenomenon has totally nothing to do with you.

You should be aware that (South) Korean Wave refers to the increasing popularity of South Korean entertainment and culture all over the planet. And part of this wave is the migration of South Koreans in various parts of the world.  They are everywhere for goodness sakes!  Therefore, even if you smash and rupture the vast lands of South Korea into smithereens, South Korean genes, populace and ethnicity will never be gone.  It will remain on this planet.  I just hope you learn from the equally dim-witted soul-less Nazis who thankfully flopped in annihilating the Jewish people.

jo in-sung

Second, if you fight the South Koreans people of other nations will detest and abhor you.  This is because when South Korea will be at war their popular boy bands as well as their superstar actor-celebrities Jo In-sung, Hyun Bin and Lee Min Ho will be required to be enlisted to join their armed forces.  People of the world would definitely don’t want these cutesy looking idols getting hit by a bullet or even crawl on muddy messy ground.

dara: pambansang krung krung

Lastly, if you fight South Korea, Dara of girl-band 2NE1 who is popularly known as Sandara Parks here in the Philippines will be sad and agitated.  You must know that Filipinos love Dara, she is the pambansang krung-krung (Philippine icon for weird yet adorable silliness).  And of course, you don’t want to mess up with the krung-krung Filipinos.  We don’t need to go there in your country to physically fight and be at war.   We have lots of expert mangkukulam-s (voodoos) and the mambabarang-s (withcrafts and sorcerers) who can easily cast a curse or spell on your brain-washed people.

That is why you should think again.  Anyway, getting into war is so ancient, obsolete and very out-of-style.  My final advise to you, you should get out of your shell, be current, be modern, be cool!

Your Would Be Nemesis If You Don’t Straighten Up Your Act,

The Delicious Earthling

Umayos nga yang Nort Koreya na ‘yan! Di naman kagandahan!