Boba, idiota, tonta, double-bitch and puta ka! These are some of the uttered words of my favorite character from the movie Temptation Island.  Yes!  I still couldn’t get through this spectacular film.  So let me write another article about it.

Suzanne Reyes played by Jennifer Cortez is my favorite character in the movie.  She is the rich spoiled brat and demanding socialite in the movie being attended by Maria, the oppressed and downtrodden yaya (maid).

Suzanne in the movie is the only creature who had bitchy and hilarious catfights with all the other lady characters.  Mind you, the catfights are held in different venues and of various modes.  She had sabunutan (hair-pulling fight) with Azenith Briones on a shallow sea bed.  She had sampalan (face-slapping fight) with Bambi Arambulo right on the desert sand.  She had patpat-ala-arnis upakan (stick-weapon fight) with Dina Bonnievie inside a dry lifeless jungle.

She has gentle ways of speaking, yet words coming out from her mouth are mean, unapologetic and oppressive – a true epitome of a bitch without mercy.

Among the four finalist characters of Miss Manila Sunshine pageant in the movie, she has kept her cool and still tried to maintain and be conscious of her looks even in the midst of being trapped in a desert island without food and without fresh drinking water.  She would ask her yaya if she is still beautiful, she would still put on make-up and suntan lotion and bathe under the sun to keep her beautiful youthful complexion and she would even bother wearing her silk scarf coupled with shades in the middle of a barren lifeless landscape with no salvation in sight.

I also loved the way she projects her face and body in front of the camera.  It definitely added to the ultimate hilarious campiness of the movie.  She totally gave a new meaning to the word “chin-up”.  Because the way she raises her chin to project her provocative beauty is so high it is already literally horizontal to her flat nose and short forehead.

But the ultimate reason why I love her among all characters trapped in a desert island are the lines the scriptwriter and director have assigned her.  The words coming out from her mouth and the way she delivered it are mind-boggling!  Here are some of the lines she uttered in the movie…

• “Sabihin mo kay Vicente na ihanda ang Mercedes na charcoal gray… Mas gusto ko yatang magpahatid, para I can leave anytime I want.  Late entrance, early exit.  ‘Yan ang dramatic!”
• “As I was saying, this is a bright sunny day.  A day in the light of the sun’s rays.  This is how I begin my day.  An hour of tender loving care in the eight o’clock sunshine! ‘Yan ang sikreto ng aking youthful complexion.  Parang nasa tabi lang tayo ng swimming pool.”
• “Hay… kagabi, compose na compose ang byuti ko.  Ngayon nagdi-decompose na.”
• “So what’s new?  Everybody needs a shipwreck ones in a while.”
• “Ang lalakas naman kasi ng loob nyong sumali eh hindi naman kayo magaganda.“
• Maria, hwag kang tonta! Pantyhose, panghuhuli mo ng isda?!”
• “Mag-alis kayo ng panty kung gusto ninyo.  But my panty stays right where it is!”
• “Wala akong carpenter-complex, so I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
• “Maria… sabihin mo nga sa akin, maganda pa ba ako?”

My top-3 favorites lines are…

• “Ay nako, I have no time for middle-class sentiments.”
• “Maria, pakikuha mo nga ang make-up kit ko sa kabilang bundok, nakalimutan ko eh.“
• “What are bitches for? But to bitch around with fellow bitches.”

Idol ko si Suzanne Reyes.  O, laban ka?!

A lot has been written about the 1980 Pinoy movie entitled Temptation Island.  Some has considered it as one of the greatest Pinoy masterpieces.  Others say that it is a moving cinematic experience.  A lot declares it as the campiest most hilarious Filipino movie ever made.  But others commented on it as a crazy-awful movie.

I am not a film critic and I don’t consider myself as the last authority on movie reviews but after seeing the movie for the second time, all I can say is that the movie has gone beyond the word “worst”.  But I’m saying it not on a negative note but rather as a compliment.  The movie was so bad that it has crossed the bundaries of “negative border” (meaning the negative of all negatives).  Thus, it can therefore be considered an excellent work of art.  The movie was so criminally stupid it is no longer irritating but insanely entertaining.  The movie was so preposterously funny even without the intention of being humorous.

As a piece of advice before watching the movie – for those who has not seen it – don’t take the movie seriously otherwise you will miss the point of its being a great film.

There is no dull moment in the movie.  I don’t want to pick out my favorite scene for I love all the scenes.  I love the twisted humor since I believe the director intended it to be a serious flick but came out so campy and funny.  I love the cheap special effects and technical faults for it added to the unquantifiable laughter I exhibited while watching the film.  I love the appalling and without-mercy overacting performances of the lead actresses.  I love the stimulating and utterly ridiculous lines the actors and actresses throw on each other.  For me, the written script and lines spoken and how these were spoken by the characters in the film made the movie a “classic”.

Temptation Island is pure unadulterated fun.  The film is such a magnificent disaster it is definitely a Pinoy movie masterpiece.

Salamat kay Kuki Catindig sa pagpapahiram ng VCD copy.

Being trapped in an airplane from Casablanca to Manila gave me the opportunity to watch movies shown free in the airline.

As I zapped through the remote control, I discovered that there were vast choices of movies to choose from.  Qatar Ailines featured a wide spectrum of movies to watch while the airplane is flying.  There were movies from Oriental countries, European countries, South American countries and Middle East ones.  There were even 2 Pinoy movies to choose from.  There was the KC Concepcion and Richard Gutierrez flick and the Tony Gonzaga and Vhong Navarro movie to watch.

Since I had long hours to waste I settled to watch marathon Oscar-nominated movies and later decided to go for a Bollywood flick.  I heard Bollywood movies are usually more than 2 hours to finish.  The first full length Bollywood movie I watched was entitled Bachna Ae Hasseno.  The story was fun and lighthearted.  A true Bollywood genre because the characters would suddenly burst into a song with matching outlandish dance number coupled with spectacular production numbers.  The film is about a Casanova heartbreaker who goes from one love affair to another, only to run into true love.

The film did not disappoint me in terms of the style Bollywood films are known for.  It featured gorgeous locations, good looking characters, bouncy musical numbers and breathless romance.  What is so good about the movie is its light mainstream entertainment which did not require the viewer to think.

The movie was something new and was a refreshing experience considering that I am in the middle of a notorious long travel.  Too bad I was stuck on my seat and there was not enough space to dance Bollywood style.

Wala lang.  Gusto ko lang isulat ang kakaibang karanasang ito.

“I love it! I love it! I love it!”

After watching the movie Slumdog Millionaire directed by Danny Boyle, these are the only words that came out of my mouth.  I am watching a DVD copy alone in my house but I couldn’t stop myself from standing up and gave the movie a big round of applause when the credits started rolling.

Slumdog Millionaire is the end result when you put together a Hollywood and a Bollywood movie together – a stunning original piece of movie.  The three kids who played Jamal, Salim and Latika were awesome that they completely drew me deep into the story.  I checked my hands if I grew 8 more thumbs for I wanted to flash ten thumbs up for the movie.  It was moving, it was beautiful, it was excellent and it was the best!

Clap! Clap! Clap!  Walang katulad and pelikulang ito.  Ibang klase grabeeeh!

Only few movies could not make me stand up and leave my seat inside a movie house for a while to take a leak.  A Michael Bay film entitled Transformers is one of them.

It’s about alien robots that turns into cars!  Transformers is fast, often silly, hilarious and loud with lots of spectacular mass destructions.  The visual effects were pretty astonishing.  The transformation sequences from cars to robots or robots to cars are smoothly done.  I could hear myself uttering “wow”!  Fight scenes are like suave hypnotic kung fu moves.

Transformers was never an integral part of my youth unlike Voltes V, Mazinger Z, Superman, Mekanda Robot and Daimos but I totally enjoyed watching the awesome movie.  I was not a huge fan of the cartoons edition during my teenage days that is why there are times I am confused on who are the Autobots and who are the Decepticons.  But the movie simply provided a sign – the colored ones are the good Autobots while the plain light grayish brown are the evil Decepticons.

You don’t need to bring your brain when you go and watch this film.  It offers nothing but fun, fun, fun!

I just wonder if Optimus Prime is being run by an environment friendly alternative fuel like coco diesel…

I just had an early Easter treat!  Upon arriving in my unit from my mother’s house after an overnight sleepover, I turned on the TV early in the morning and chanced upon watching a 1993 movie “Heart & Souls” in HBO channel.

Even though I have watched this film several times in the past, the movie still gives me a big laugh for the funny scenes and lump on the throat for the touchy moments.  I adore the mix of character profiles of Thomas (the lead role played by Robert Downey Jr.) and the four souls with unfinished businesses before they died: Milo, Penny, Julia and Harrison.  I particularly liked the characters of Penny (the mother figure) and Milo (the cool softhearted thug).  One flawed thing I noticed in the movie, these souls have shadows…

I will probably not forget the film’s classic scene when all five characters are walking down the street singing “Walk Like a Man”…

… Walk like a man

Talk like a man

Walk like a man my son

No woman’s worth

Crawling on the earth

Just walk like a man my son…

The movie is simply timeless in respect to the values it teaches.  It makes you review your own life after watching it.  It tackles friendship, love, parenthood, conquering fear, looking for the lost loved-one and correcting a past mistake to name a few.  Also, after watching this movie, you will wonder about all those moments in life you messed up and should have done the right thing but didn’t.

It’s simply heartwarming! Happy Easter everyone…

I have watched a load of movies this year.  A lot of it has actually moved and impressed me.  But my most preferred motion picture this year was never shown on cinemas and theaters.  It is a 15-minute film and was only shown on TV (on ABC 5) and I think is available on mobile phones.

I am talking about the romantic comedy entitled “Sugar”.  It starred Rafael Rosel and Bianca King.  This unfussy yet delightful short-film was directed by Mark Meily. “Sugar” tells the tale of lovers who’ve reached a plateau in their relationship.  Gone grumpy and complaining on her boyfriend’s frosty treatment, the girl decides to spice things up by assuming a secret identity.  She purchased a mobile phone SIM card and conducted a text-message affair with her boyfriend.

In the coffee shop with her best friend, while exchanging text messages with her boyfriend in her new secret anonymous SIM & cell number, undecided of what name to give, she by chance saw a pack of brown sugar on top of their table and assumed the name “Sugar”.

Thus, the dude didn’t know that his text-mate is actually his girlfriend.  The problem gets complicated when the guy starts to fall for Sugar after a long period of sweet, pleasant and engaging exchanges of text messages.  He decided and invited Sugar for an EB (eyeball or meet).

The scenes on the date of the EB were hilarious, nerve-wracking, intense, stressful, distressing yet lovely, charming and definitely moving.

This movie is not an epic, not a period movie, do not have big stars in the cast, only runs for 15 minutes, did not call for millions to produce, no Oscar winning moments, no typical Pinoy “sampalan” melodramatic scenes.  The message was simply portrayed yet strikingly beautiful.

Indeed, great things come in small and simple packages.  No sugar coating needed! Ang galing galing!

Kamikazee, a new pop-rock band in the Philippines recently had a hit which until now is enjoying airplay.  The song is the 4th cut in their ‘Maharot’ CD album.  This musical composition is about an average joe falling in love with a very popular Pinoy superhero Darna.  The song is entitled ‘Narda’, the adolescent country lass when she is not in her Darna personification.  Narda is like Clark Kent in Superman.

This single caught on like wild fire.  Everybody is singing it.  Kids when this piece of music is being played enjoyed belting along.  There was even one episode in ‘Going Bulilit’ (a popular kiddy show in the Philippines) when the young tikes were singing the song in ala music video mode.

The song could have been great it’s just that there seem to be a mistake!  Such mistake is actually disturbing… it contains direct incestuous emphasis.

Ang swerte nga naman ni Ding, lagi ka nyang kapiling

Kung ako sa kanya niligawan na kita

These dim-witted lyrics can’t be! Ding is actually the younger brother of Narda/Darna who usually keeps Darna’s "bato" (the enchanted stone that transforms Narda to Darna when swallowed).

It makes me wonder how come radical first-rate moralists in the Philippines did not in any way react on this heedless song composition.  Maybe they overlooked it or maybe they realized Kamikazee is such a crummy band to whack or maybe they enjoyed the song’s tempo and did not mind Ding shagging his sister.

Can you imagine in case Ding and Narda developed this perverted relationship?  I wonder what Ding would handover Narda next time she calls "Ding ang bato!"

  I watched ‘Superman Returns’ three times in three different movie houses just to review all over again if Superman actually has an offspring.  All silly movie viewers who saw it concluded that the cute kiddo is Superman’s child.  Sorry folks, but the movie did not in any way mention that he has a son.  There’s technically no information to confirm 100% 

Yeah, Lois has a son (Jason).  She also has a husband, okay?! 

Yeah, Lois whispered something to Superman at the hospital while recuperating.  But no one knows what it was. She might be saying “Spiderman is also good looking” or something! 

Yeah, Lois’ son pushed a grand piano to save his mom.  He is also asthmatic or maybe it’s caused by the boat rocking through the ocean or maybe his father Richard White (Lois’ husband) is also an alien with superpowers whom his spawn inherits! 

Yeah, Superman seems to be so emotionally attached to the kid!  So what?  With a cute face like that of the kid, who wouldn’t? 

Yeah, Superman mentioned “You may sometimes be an outcast, but you will never be alone… Father becomes a son and son becomes a father”.  Will somebody explain what the beep does that mean? 

Yeah, Lois’ son mentioned that he liked Superman. So what? Everybody love Superman!

If ever it’s true, then I don’t like the idea.  I demand a DNA test!  Now na!

My favorite superhero is back! The new generation will finally experience the greatness, charm and power of my favorite superhero.  I can still remember those childhood days when I was able to watch Superman in the big screen (starring Christopher Reeves).  The movie house was jampacked, I remember I sat on the floor aisle to get a good view of the movie.  I was so amazed and startled on how he came about and how he saved the whole world. 

Superman is my favorite hero because he is not a human being.  He is a creation outside of this world.  He is unlike other superheroes who are human beings who gained power because of mutation or a freaky circumstance of nature.  Another reason why he is my favorite is because he is so cleanly cut and doesn’t wear a mask.  Kids and old alike will definitely feel at ease when they would be face-to-faced with him.  Unlike other superheroes with masks or gross physical abnormality that kids usually get scared of (e.g. X-Men heroes with freaky hairstyles; Aquaman with webbed hands and toes; Batman with his dark robe/costume and horn-like pointed ears).

Superman has the charm.  I’m sure with his saliva-dripping looks and wholesome appeal all mothers would want their daughter to marry him!  He definitely is a one-woman-man.

1. The most amazing scene that will forever be tattooed in my mind was his ability to turn back the time by rotating the earth backward!  He need not require a brilliant mind to create a time machine to do this.  He did this with his physical power and full emotional impetus when he found out that the love of his life Lois Lane died.  For him to revive her from death, he flew the fastest way he can around the world on infinite number of times going against the Earth’s normal revolution.

Now that he’s back, I’m sure the world will be a better place to live in.  And now that I’m an adult, I will definitely queue on line again to watch this movie and live the experienceI had in 1978.  Even if there are no seats available I will be willing to sit on the floor aisle.