Author Archives: heavenliner

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About heavenliner

a twisted little soul... people see me to be so delicious they sometimes want to eat me...

Sa Bukid Walang Papel

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I was walking on green fields and leaping through the flowery groves while the raise of the sun is mellowing…  It was an enormously divine green field of dreams…  I smelled the grassy breeze of air and felt the undisturbed delight of the snow capped mountain ranges above…  I was sweetly smiling for experiencing the charming breath of heaven… But I was aware that I was just lucidly dreaming.

I was awakened by the rumbling of my stomach.  With drooping eyes and remnants of dissipating sweet dream on my mind, I went straight to my toilet.  After some intense abdominal and intestinal twisting, wringing and extraction, like a typical Filipino that I am, I reached for my “tabo” (dipper) to soap and wash my posterior end.

With heavy and still half-opened eyes, I reached for the toilet paper dispenser but there was none in it only the cardboard roll was left.  This is when I realized like the controversial Filipino bathroom tissue TV commercial that in lovely and dreamy green fields there is no tissue paper.  That’s when I fully woke up!

Sa bukid walang papel. Uyyy! Ikiskis mo sa pilapil! Uyyy!

Free Hubert Webb

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After fifteen long years in prison, Hubert Webb is neither innocent nor guilty but should be set free!  This is my personal opinion and assessment after watching last Sunday night the TV documentary “Cheche Lazaro Present:  Dalawang Mukha ng Hustisya”.

I am saying this not because the Philippine court should have accepted Webb’s greatest and absolute defense of being in US during the time of the crime as verified by FBI and certified no less by Madeleine Korbel Albright (first woman US Secretary of State).

I am saying this because some dimwit and defective government agency misplaced and unable to find the semen specimen found in the cadaver of Carmela (one of the victims in the Vizconde massacre) so as to compare it with the semen of Hubert Webb via DNA testing.  The missing semen specimen is a definite and clear-cut evidence that could no longer be presented in court not by fault by Webb but by fault of a Philippine government agency, thus, he in effect is deprived of due process.  Therefore he should be discharged, dismissed and relieved from the confines of prison.

Ang problema hindi ako ang Suprim Kort ng Pinas.  Keys dismis!

Sights of Club Paradise, Palawan

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joesel, karen, I and jesse

 

Four gorgeous and irresistible souls recently enjoyed an equally captivating island.  It was simply perfect!  That’s what happened when I, Karen, Jesse and Joesel spent a great September weekend in Club Paradise, Dimakya Island, north of Palawan.

Because of the beauty of the island combined with our eye-catching looks, I succumbed.  I succumbed to the irresistible deed of collecting all our photos of delight.    However, I failed the hounding struggle of keeping the pictures private.  Our photos in Club Paradise were just too attractive it would be an evil transgression not to broadcast, share and make it public.

Nakakagigil!

Autograph from an Extra-Ordinary Earthling

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I don’t know.  But there is something about this thespian that seem elusive and mysterious.  He just gets acting projects and act out on it.  He’s not “showbiz” and there is nothing fancy about him at all yet he usually receives the loudest cheer, roar and approbation whenever he makes a public appearance.

He does not possess the Fernando Poe Jr. archetype nor carry the stalwart stance of Rogelio Dela Rosa.  He does not have the clever wit of Dolphy nor possess the magical phenomenon of Piolo Pascual.  He is mellow and subdued.  He is effortlessly simple.  He is actually average, too average to the point of being extra-ordinary.  Maybe he is just a typical earthling with enigmatic bearing in the bewitching and exalting world of show business which makes him stand out.

That is why when I learned that he is to dine in one of the restaurants that I worked for, I abused my power by ordering the restaurant manager to get me this actor’s autograph.  As cynical and jaded as I am, I even threaten the restaurant manager that he will be subjected to medieval forms of torture if he failed to get me one!  I got the autograph which I intend to preserve because I believe it would be precious after a couple of decades.

Walang kokontra! Ako’y isang tanga-hanga.

Komersyal Muna

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This is a Coca Cola ad in the mid-80s when I was still a part of the young population.  It was such a colossal hit then.  The whole Philippines was talking about a pretty singer (with enormously big set of ears) named Lilet being chosen to represent the country in filming this commercial for local release.  She was actually sent to Liverpool, England to shoot this Coca-Cola advertisement. If memory serves me right, there were actually versions of this ad sang in different languages all filmed in one common venue.

The catchy song was about unity, strength and hope among the young dynamic earthlings.  That year, I would have nominated Coca Cola Company for a Nobel Prize for Peace because of this advert.

Lilet, I and the rest of the youth who grew up in the ‘80s are no longer the future but the actual front runners of this planet.  We being todays adults may have not done the best in preserving world peace and in conserving mother earth, at least Madonna, U2 and MTV Channel (plus Regal, Viva and Seiko Films movies produced locally) were some of the unique  conceptions of our time.  Moreover, I’m keeping my fingers crossed that apocalyptic annihilation will not take place during our incumbency and dominion.   

Significant changes had happened (good, delightful, wicked and screwy) and I hope that today’s luckluster, bland and boring youth will be inspired by the lasting message of this amazing song.

I am the future of the world
I am the hope of my nation
I am tomorrow’s people
I am the new inspiration

And we’ve got a song to sing to you
We’ve got a message to bring to you

Please let there be, for you and for me, a tomorrow (tomorrow)
If we all can agree there’ll be sweet harmony tomorrow (tomorrow)
And we all will be there, Coca-Cola to share
Feeling so real and so true
Promise us tomorrow
And we’ll build a better world for you

Ngayon, matataba na tayo dahil sa kowk na yan.

Dimakya Island, Palawan

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Words are not enough to describe the beauty of Dimakya Island located at the northern tip of Palawan.  This gorgeous patch of paradise is so beautiful it annoys me. 

 The sky is too blue, the sunset is too amber.  The breeze is too fresh and the animals (fruit bats, turtles and various birds) were too free to live their own free lives. The sea water is too clear and too aquamarine.  The schools of fish are too gracious they don’t mind a monster like me would snorkel atop and around them. The corals underwater are too colorful.  The foliage is too lush, in fact the green is so green and the flowers were too flowery. 

 The island is too perfect, it disturbs me.  I thought I was dead and gone to heaven.

Kinukurot ko sarili ko para mapatunayang di pa ko tsugi.

Alpha Kenny Body

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To prove that I am such a horrible monster and my demeanor is despicable read this fast and aloud! Actually, this will get your mind off things… Now read it.  Aloud!

Alpha Kenny Body, Alpha Kenny Body, Alpha Kenny Body

Alpha Kenny Body, Alpha Kenny Body, Alpha Kenny Body

Alpha Kenny Body, Alpha Kenny Body, Alpha Kenny Body

Yung mas mabilis pa! Eowww!

The Tragic Sales of Nail Cutters and Key Chains

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nail cutter-cum-key chain-cum-bottle opener coutesy of edwin santos

While cutting my fingernails I suddenly realized that sales of key chain and nail cutters are most probably on its peak here in the Philippines and may be at its lowest ever in Hong Kong history.  This is maybe because there are few Pinoys who would dare visit and go to Hong Kong now since the wounds from the recent Manila August 23 hostage tragedy has yet to fully heal.

Very few Pinoys would have the courage to tour Hong Kong now, thus, there are few Pinoy tourists who would buy the two of the cheapest yet most popular souvenir trinkets available in the streets of Hong Kong.  These are either the key chain or the nail cutter or the two-in-one nail-cutter-key-chain kind.  I have been a usual recipient of these pasalubong-s (presents) from friends who had short visit to Hong Kong an astonishing reason why I don’t need to buy it here in the Philippines.

O sha na.  Mahaba na ang kuko ko.

Remembering BangBang

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BangBang and I were born in the same year and grew up in the bucolic city of Pasay.  BangBang is a second-cousin whom I consider to be a super playmate.  The most vivid memory I have with her is cooking “yema” (a Pinoy custard cream) in their kitchen (with the assistance of Ate Oye) whom we enjoyed eating one happy afternoon.   

She may not be my closest cousin but I don’t remember any particular incident of having a disagreement with BangBang.  Possessing the right amiable attitude I was actually never surprised to know that she became a fine young woman, a loving wife and an awesome caring mother.

I was sad to know that one of my super playmates passed away and taken the journey we all must take.  But one thing is for sure a mortal being here in this earth will always remember BangBang.  That’s me.  Though I’m sad I will not cry for she left because I know she didn’t left but instead arrived.  She arrived in eternal love now wearing shiny wings and gleaming halos…

from the Facebook Wallpost of Ate Oye

A big rownd op aplos para sa ‘yo pinsan…

Just Like Cake

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mango tres leches of cafe adriatico

Can anyone be unhappy while eating cake?  Like instinct, we have all craved for cake in our happiest moments.  People actually serve cake when they’re happy. Why is it so? Because life is a cycle of pain and bad memories or perhaps like the bitter-sweetness of life, we try to make our joys even sweeter.

Like instinct also, we feel joy and the sweetness of life when precious people are around us.  Just like being served with cake.  So be still and open your eyes.  Look around you so you may realize that you are not actually sad and lonely.  Just like being surrounded with cake.  You’re surrounded by people who make you happy.  These perhaps are the same people that help you in realizing that life is a piece of cake.  You may not know, but maybe, you’re the most precious cake for somebody.

Here’s a slice of thought from a genius but defunct Pinoy band…

“There’s a fruitcake in everybody

There’s a fruitcake in everyone

There are b-sides to every story

If you decide to have some fun

Just take a bite, it’s alright

Taste the taste that sent all mothers giggling in sheer delight

Take a bite, it’s alright

A little lovin’ and some fruit to bake

Life is a piece of cake”

Tinapay? Puto? Mamon? Ano ba Tagalog ng keyk?