Fruits and vegetable generally refers to the edible part of a plant. It’s a common fact that fruits and vegetables are good for the body. Here in our country, these healthy perishables are often mocked and ridiculed.

Take the case of kamote. Kamote is a word that is use to describe a person who is dense and stupid. Others define it as a person who accepts other probabilities as flaw to any given proposition.

In case of Patola and Petchay, these 2 veggies would often replace the P word when a Pinoy is cursing. Instead of expressing “Anak ng P#+@%^!” folks would change it to “Anak ng patola!” or “Anak ng pechay!” as if these two vegetables were the only garden meat that ladies with the oldest profession eat.

“Couch Patatas” is the Filipino slang version of a couch potato meaning a person who is extremely lazy and spends much of the time either sitting or lying down, usually watching TV. Just like me!

“Patikim ng Pinya” (1996), “Talong” (1999) & “Kangkong” (2001) are movie titles produced and released in the country. They have one common theme though. It’s all low-budgeted bold flicks.

“Oh my Gulay!” is a Pinoy expression commonly used to present a feeling of shock, frustration, excitement, or surprise.

These garden meats can also help to describe a person’s body part – “paang luya”; “balat sibuyas”; “kutis labanos”; “mala-makopang kutis” and “ga-munggong tighawat” to name a few.

“Oo! Inaamin ko, saging lang kami! Pero maghanap ka ng puno… sa buong Pilipinas, saging lang ang may puso. Saging lang ang may puso!”- Mark Lapid in Apoy Sa Dibdib ng Samar “

One of the most hilarious lines ever stated in Philippine Cinema. Though expressed in a supposed-to-be serious dramatic manner, this line became a big hit in Youtube among Pinoy viewers. It became a mega-hit in which a hip-hop song was even derived from those side-splitting lines and even considered as one of the most memorable lines in Pinoy Cinema.

Talong, saging, patola, mani, papaya, melon, upo, petchay, pakwan, munggo and kaong have something in common which I won’t dare to discuss or even define.

Holy kamote!

  At present, I own a Nokia N73 music edition model.  My cell phone now is not the latest neither the oldest Nokia model but it is not just my communication device.  I use it also as….

• A calendar
• A phone book
• A watch
• An alarm clock
• A to-do-list reminder
• A blog-to-write-about reminder
• A phone
• A digital camera
• A video camera
• A radio
• An mp3 player
• A TV
• A gaming device
• An internet browser
• A calculator
• A personal past event tracker
• An audio recorder
• A photo album
• A grocery list note pad
• An alternative pen & paper
• A paper weight
• A mirror
• A brain extender
• A security measure device (when in doubt inside a cab, I would usually text the name of the taxi and its number to a friend or a relative)
• A wisdom provider and spirit booster (thanks to those who text me those precious stories and quotations)

Wais di ba?!  

Today, I received a terrible text message….

“D’AUDITORS of PHIL. CHARITY FOUNDATION inform you that your CELFON WON P950,000 2nd prize winner, draw last JAN. 09, 2008.  PLS CALL ME NOW I’M ALFRED A. CHUA.”

Whoever texted me this message must be insane.  I did not win but my cellphone did?!  As far as I can remember, my cellphone did not join any raffle.  I did not call of course.  Since my cellphone was the one who won then I will let my cellphone call him.  The thing is my cellphone do not have a cellphone for it to call this brainless Mr. Chua.

Manloloko lang engot pa!

Last year in this blog I wrote about the worst dressed male celebrities in the Philippines.  I don’t want to pay tribute to that king of species anymore but rather do it the nicer way.  I decided to choose the most beautiful celebrities in the country this year.  They are:

• Suzie Entrata, TV and Corporate Events Host.  I have been watching this lady even during her Gameplan tv show days.  She does not have the prettiest face on tv but I like her skin color – smooth olive brown.  She may not possess the sexiest body but she simply exudes genuine fun and vitality mixed with acumen confidence that is hard to find in the boobtube.

• Michelle Carbonell, Be Bench Model Search 3rd placer.  During the model search I though that there must have been a bad lineup who auditioned for the program since she was selected to be part of the top 16.  But as the search progress this young lady has surprisingly transformed into an articulate and very sexy demoiselle.

• Mariel Rodriguez, TV Host.  Cute, fashionable, bubbly, surprisingly intelligent, promising, funny and very natural.  What makes Mariel beautiful is her way of laughing at herself due to the booboos she unintentionally commits in front of the TV.  She can fabulously get away with anything.

• Yael Yuson, Lead Singer of Spongecola.  I have yet to see him perform live and in person.  He may not be towering in terms of height and do not possess a typical pretty boy face but his mere presence bewitches everyone who would look at him.

• Piolo Pascual, showbiz superstar.  I guess everyone agrees in this matter.  Piolo simply beams testoterone elegance.  He is refined and good-looking.  The conundrum about his real character and personality (though a public figure) even adds up to his being gorgeous.

• Ace Durano, Secretary of the Department of Tourism.  It is very rare to see a young, clean-cut and well-dressed individual holding a government post.  Ace Durano is one of them.  His TV and newspapaer interviews speaks about the beauty of the Philippines that adds up to him being ravishingly fine looking.