Now If I am Bong Revilla

Ramon “Bong” Revilla Jr. is a high school graduate who never stepped into a college education whose level of charisma to the Filipino psyche is seem to be unknown and unheard of in the universe.  And because of such chutzpah in appeal he landed at the number 1 spot in the 2010 Philippine senatorial race.

Bong was however detained due to plunder charges amounting to 225 million pesos worth of kickbacks.  And in the still of the night and to every body’s surprise, he suddenly was acquitted but (and still surprisingly) was asked to return the money he supposed to have stolen.  The cunning guy however promised not to return it.

bong revilla… (photo captured from rappler.com)

Now comes 2019.  Bong inched his way on being a senator again.  The biggest popularity contest of the country made Bong a senator again landing (as of this writing) at the 10th spot.  Social media however has not been very good to Bong this time.  On my Facebook newsfeed alone, Bong seem to be the epitome of futility, idiocy and absurdity.  Netizens abhor him! 

And those who voted for him, at this early point in time, are being blamed for the would-be-further-downfall of the poor Philippines.  They are branded as tanga, engot, tongo, bobo and di nag-iisip all of which if translated to English would mean dense and dim-witted.

I myself did not vote for that felon, I mean fellow.  But now if I am Bong and now that I am again a senator, I would do my very best to prove to all those who bashed me that I am worth the Filipino’s precious vote.  I will commission the brightest and the most dependable thinkers and shakers of the land to develop laws and policies for me that would benefit the majority. I would ensure that the safety and security of the minority and the oppressed are looked and cared upon.  I will also tap the best image and marketing consultants who would try to switch and modify my very tarnished image.  I will definitely use all my earned and plundered money to pay for those who are needing education, housing, medical care and all other basic needs of my fellow Filipinos.  And lastly, I will stop dancing the freakish dance step I did in my TV ad campaign.  I will prove to all criticizers and whackers who posted, liked and heart-ed in Facebook that they are all, with un-writable expletives, WRONG!

The problem is (in my contemplating tone)… I am not Bong Revilla.

i am not bong!

Pabasa nyo nga ‘to kay pogi!