Sarah G is such a Turn-Off

geronimo & anderson

Entertainment TV host Ogie Diaz and the rest of Pinoy showbiz-landia attributes actor/celebrity Gerald Anderson’s surrender of pursuing actress/singer/superstar Sarah Geronimo to be his girlfriend to the latter’s wicked mother. Considering that Anderson is one of the most eligible bachelors of this country, only stupid ladies, I guess would say NO to him. Even devoted caring mothers would pray to the heavens that their daughter be the girlfriend of this gentleman.

Though Anderson’s acting skills can be compared to a guy suffering from indigestion, Gerald is famous, single, childless, young, handsome and filthy rich.  A lot of people would agree with me – and I apologize to the multitudes of Sarah fanatics – that he is even more beautiful than Sarah Geronimo.  He could therefore be considered “one rare find”.

I just hope Sarah Geronimo (who at 24 years old has yet to develop her inner backbone) would not end up marrying an old, adulterous, ugly and atrocious beer-bellied worthless bum in the future.  Her inability to stand up for what she wants and how she feels as well as her allowing to be controlled by people whom she actually feeds is just absurd.  She for me in this case is a whopping turn-off.

Hindi ka stap toy na pwedeng itago sa cabinet ng nanay mo neng?

Neil Patrick Harris of Planet Earth

neil patrick harris

Can you imagine this planet without Neil Patrick Harris?

Earthlings in their 40s and above know Neil Patrick Harris not as Neil Patrick Harris but as Doogie Howser, MD, the teenage doctor whose life’s lessons are encoded in his computer diary.

Those between their 20s and 30s know him as Barney Stinson, a high functioning metrosexual who never fails to air out his often hypocritical opinions.

But for the budding generation from the newly born to teenagers, they would know Neil Patrick Harris as the most awesome and most amazing host ever of an awards night.  He is so legendary viewers don’t care who wins during the awards night but are more excited listening to him singing and hosting the program.

His works encompasses all generations.  He is one hell of a likable earthling.  I can consider him to be one of the most influential beings of this planet.

Therefore, if this planet is without Neil Patrick Harris, this planet would have sucked so much!

Brilyant dud!

My Lunch Today Is About Dolphy

Today the whole Philippines observe the National Day of Remembrance in honor of Dolphy, The Comedy King of Philippine cinema.

In today’s national observance, my lunch is Munggo Bean Soup (a thick green mung bean bisque with smoked fish flakes topped with pork cracklings); Sinuteng Baby Pusit (young squids sauted in olive oil with chunks of sliced garlic); and, a cup of jasmine rice as ordered from Bistro Remedios in Malate, which happens to be one of Dolphy’s favorite restaurants in the metro.

Press this LINK, a news article in Manila Bulletin to support such claim. If you will try the dishes in Bistro Remedios, you will never wonder why the late Philippines’ King of Comedy often dined there.  It’s yummy! What about you, what’s the tiny yet trivial thing you did today to commemorate the day’s national observance?

Ang sarap parang ako…

Katniss, Peeta & Cina

katniss - the girl on fire

Every time I read a novel, there is a natural drift for me to form the physical appearance of the characters in my mind.  The physical characteristics of novel-characters are formed in my subconscious through the writer’s intricate ability to describe.

Last Thursday, as I watched the film adaptation of the Suzanne Collins movie The Hunger Games, I was surprised to find out that the physical appearance of the cast closely resembles the look of the characters that was formed in my wits when I was reading the novel.

Surprisingly, the actors chosen to play their respective roles in the movie bears close resemblance to the ones formed in my mind.  Case in point was the lead actress who played the role of Katniss Everdeen, though in my often flaky imagination she is supposed to be 2-size smaller in body frame and a little bit shorter.   This is because she is supposed to come from a poor and food-deprived district.

But I was so shocked in disbelief when the actor who played the character of Peeta Melark appears exactly like the one formed in my imagination when I was reading the novel years ago.  I felt like being the very casting director of the movie when I saw him on the big screen being first introduced and announced as the male “tribute” (participant) in the 74th Hunger Games.  The color of the eyes, the hair style, the skin tone, the facial features, the body frame, the lips and the smile was exactly the same.  Even the length of his eye brows!!!

peeta mellark - the baker's son

Though I adore Lenny Kravitz, his physical appearance unfortunately is not the one that was contoured in my sagacious circumspect.  I was actually looking forward on how Kravitz would play the role of Cinna, the fashion stylist, responsible in creating Katniss to be dubbed as “The Girl On Fire” in the novel.  However, Kravitz looks (along with his acting and demeanor in the film) for me was too subdued.  Cinna for me is supposed to be flamboyant, flashy and splashy similar to that of the judge in America’s Next Top Model series – Ms. J Alexander.

ms j alexander - my type of cina

I don’t intend to write a critic about the movie (I hope not to violate this intention).  But nevertheless, I believe the movie is still a faithful representation of the amazing novel.  Besides it is understandable that you cannot cram the entire book into a 2.5-hour movie.  The first book of The Hunger Games series is just too much to be created only for a single movie.

Eksakto!

 

The Super Powers of Anne Curtis

anne curtis

Without doubt, fear and hesitation let me declare that the most powerful human being in the Philippines in this present time is none other than Anne Curtis.  Why?  If Curtis with her enigmatic charm, gorgeous face and drop dead body will just live with her most popular spoken lines on television “I may be a slut, but I’m the best slut in town”, she can easily swoon all the chauvinist public officials (both in politics and in the armed forces) as well as the dirty richest men in the country.  She can effortlessly mesmerize these men to fall unto her prey to instruct them on whatever she may want them to do.

You can never get rid of her in this country.  Curtis nowadays is everywhere.  She’s on the façade of your favorite malls, she’s on the cover of your glossy magazines, she’s on the huge billboards of the major thoroughfares, she’s in the stories of your newspapers, she’s singing on your radio, she’s hosting on TV, and she’s even at the back of your commuter bus.

Ironically, Curtis has yet to be named and ranked #1 as the sexiest Filipina by the most popular male magazine of the land.  Maybe because Curtis has gone beyond just being sexy, Curtis is a goddess.

Nowadays, whatever thing, event or person that Curtis is associated with seems to spell out nothing but success.  Just like the recently concluded Philippine Fashion Week which actually became fashionable because Curtis was there.  Riding the metro has also been a hip thing to do after the news broke when Curtis took the train ride twice: to catch the Kylie Minogue concert on time and to report to her TV studio recently.

She was also in the headlines when her photo on a magazine cover smoking a cigarette created a huge buzz among the medical practitioners, in which the issue she shared with was with no less than the prime actress and superstar Nora Aunor.

Unlike Aunor, Curtis can hardly sing.  She actually laughs at herself when she does.  When Curtis sings, people surprisingly stop to listen for it will result to a vivacious laughing moment.  But when she recorded and sold an album it turned multi-platinum.  The last time I heard, people will again catch this lady via her mall shows and mini-concerts all around the metro.

And most recently, to everybody’s surprise, her movie entitled No Other Woman just broke the record for being the highest grossing film in the Philippine movie industry history.  One thing though.  I don’t seem to have the chutzpah to watch this movie and would rather settle to be one of the few souls who failed to see it in a movie theater.  This is because I disagree with the story-line.  Curtis played the role of a mistress while her co-star Christine Reyes played the role of the legal wife who expectedly went on a meltdown, turned sad and miserable but later on fought for the man that she loves.  I disagree with the story line of Christine Reyes going depressed and miserable because for me if a woman learned that her husband’s mistress is Anne Curtis then she must instead celebrate and be in good spirits.  This only confirms that her husband got some impeccable taste.

Anyway, maybe the reason why Curtis is so powerful is because she can project various personas effectively.  She can be highly fashionable, she can be extremely sexy, she can be flirtatious and liberated, she can be subtle and delicate, she can be fun and bubbly and she can be silly yet strong-willed.

Paki-bagayan ang di pagsang-ayon base sa iyong kagandahan.

Isda (Fable of the Fish)

Isda is a full-length movie entry in Cinemalaya 2011 written by Jerry Gracio.  It is one of the most unique story materials that have been crafted into a film.  The story is about a poverty-stricken woman who gives birth to a fish.  This poignant premise alone has been enough to jolt my interest to go to CCP’s Tanghalang Huseng Batute (Studio Theater) to watch it.

According to the director Adolfo Alix Jr., who was present to answer few audience’s questions after the screening, it was inspired by the 80’s TV show Eye-To-Eye in which host Inday Badiday featured a woman who was said to have conceived and gave birth to a dalag (mudfish) in the midst of a raging super typhoon.

Isda is an intriguing account that crumbles the barrier between true to life drama and the fight of imagination.   I can consider this film as one of the greatest films of Philippine cinema.  It’s rich, it’s multi-layered and it’s thought provoking. What I like most about the film is that it leaves the viewer to decide in what slant and perspective he wants the characters of the story to be perceived and takes the lesson/s out from it.

I was very impressed with the delivery and portrayal of actors and actresses in the movie.  Cherry Pie Picache in the lead role (of Lina, the mother of the fish) was so overwhelmingly effective she was able to reconcile the irreconcilable.  Picache’s portrayal and attack on the role was serene and simple yet so real and undeviatingly precise.  She was able to depict Lina’s character being a normal loving wife and mother without any tinge of being psychologically insane.  I was actually made to believe that she truly gave birth to a fish and nurtured it.

Bembol Rocco, who portrayed as Miguel (the father of the fish) was a class of his own.  He was no doubt compelling.  Though he uttered very few lines, Rocco exhibited the full intensity of his convincing characterization through his mere looks and gestures.  Supporting actors and actresses in the film – Rosanna Roces, Anita Linda, Evelyn Vargas, Allan Paule and Arnold Reyes – were equally brilliant.  Even the fish in the movie deserves an acting award!

I am not a film authority but for me, Isda (Fable of the Fish) is a mixture of great elements of a motion picture: a unique and intriguing material; a distinctive director; and, an inimitable cast.  It deserves all the awards and recognitions it will be bestowed with, may it be in the local or international film arena.

Parang gusto ko kumain ng pinangat na tulingan.

The Eyes and Tongue of Aljur Abrenica

New King of Pinoy Camp Movies

As promised, here is my personal analysis why Aljur Abrenica was the saving grace in the remake of the Pinoy cult classic movie Temptation Island.  (Press this LINK to read on my previous post about the movie.)

Aljur Abrenica was a big revelation in the movie Temptation Island 2011.  Abrenica who played the role of Alfredo originally played by the late Alfie Anido was in his comfort zone.  Not because of great acting ability and not because he was able to duplicate Anido’s coniotic stature and presence but because he fits well on being so campy for such a campy movie.

Aljur is a walking camp.  I would like to believe that he is the male version of Alma Moreno, the Queen of Pinoy Camp Movies.  He perfected the “twinkling-of-the-eyes” movement.  In the movie, no matter what emotion he wants to convey, he only has one obscure style of stare. This guy is so funny for he never wink nor blink in the film because his eyes is constantly twinkling.

In the original version, Anido – a natural conio, who perfected the art of mixing and interchanging English and Tagalong in a chic and sophisticated manner – never got the chance to make me laugh.  But in the remake, Aljur never failed to give me a chuckle.  This is especially true when he utter his lines in the English language.  Every time he speaks in English, me and my friends who were watching the film would whisper and ask each other “Ano daw?” (What did he say?), then laugh so hard other viewers thought Abrenica just delivered a hilarious line.

The portrayal of Abrenica in the film was so mediocre but it resulted to being so appealing in an ironic sense.  With his enigmatic twinkling eyes and ambiguous delivery of lines that emerged into an unintentional comedic performance, Abrenica was able to achieve his goal of making Temptation Island 2011 (The Remake) a passable campy film.

Si Aljur malamang ang tatanghaling Hari ng Pinoy Kamp Mubis…

Temptation Island 2011

When I learned that the same film producer is planning to do a remake of the ostentatious Temptation Island, I was initially upset, disheartened and bothered.  I wondered why this perversely sophisticated movie has to be redone.  I deemed that it would be a desecration and chastisement of the genius work of Joey Gosiengfiao.  It’s simply blasphemous!

But when all forms of media were showered and spewed with advertisements about the 2011 version, I turned erratic, provoked and eager.  All publicity write-ups and interviews conveyed that the new version will “remain faithful to the campy spirit of the original film”.  This gave me a benefit of the doubt for the new version and made me persuaded to look forward in seeing the film.  I was actually looking forward on how the stars of the new film deliver those precious lines…

Last night was the moment when I along with seven other souls (my equally twisted cosmopolitan office mates) saw the new version.  I knew all the while that the celebrities who starred and played the roles of this year’s version could not equal the fuzzy sophistication as delivered by the original cast.

Surprisingly, Lovie Poe came close to that of the character originally played by Jennifer Cortez in the original version.  Though she came short on the classy, flashy and foxy high-chinned moves and patrician bratty demeanor of Jennifer, she delivered her lines well.  Lovie was unexpectedly funny. She came close to the original in delivering the lines (now considered classic in Pinoy pop culture) since both ladies possess the sexy low-toned breathy voice.

John Lapuz who played Juswa (Joshua when articulated in proper English) was a bit of a disappointment.  Lapuz evidently tried very hard to deliver his lines similar to the fluency and eloquence of the original Joshua played by Jonas Sebastian.  Lapuz, who do not possess the natural required accent along with an innate coarse and croaky tone, will obviously never equal the feat Jonas Sebastian has done in the original version.  Moreover, it was a letdown when Lapuz sported the Queen-Melo-look.  Because of such costume-y and cartoon-y look, Lapuz’ characterization of Joshua created a notion that it was too-over-taught to the point that he desperately wants the viewers to laugh.  It was so unlike Sebastian’s characterization – effortless yet grand and hilarious!

The other actors and actresses who starred in the new version seemed too novice for the demands of their respective roles.  In my own personal view the cast and re-creators of this year’s version tried too hard which resulted to categorizing the film according to Susan Sontag (a literary theorist) as “deliberate camp”.  This is so unlike the original movie which was crisp, candid and unpretentiously presented in which as per Sontag is categorized as “naive camp”.  Nevertheless, I still enjoyed the movie simply because Temptation Island is such a rich, colorful, hilarious and ostentatious film material.

But, the film’s saving glory is actually in the quintessential personification of the ham, the hunk, the beefcake, Aljur Abrenica!  (to be continued…)

Bakit si Aljur?  Pwes, abangan ang susunod na powst. Ang haba na kasi.

Tom Babauta: The Stranger in Paradise

I just finished watching a Filipino movie entitled Strangers in Paradise which was directed by the late film genius Lino Brocka.  The story was initially set in an unidentified secluded island where a girl grew up alone (but was later befriended by a hunky local island boy) and was ostracized by her Tagalog-speaking tribe-mates for she was a child conceived and born out of wed lock.  The island girl met a young Hawaii-based Filipino-speaking tourist who decided to bring her to Hawaii (which wonders me how did this young Filipino tourist was able to secure a US-Hawaii Visa for the island girl).  In Hawaii, the island girl was still detested yet encountered an unexpected truth about her past.

For me, the movie Strangers in Paradise is divided into three equal parts.  The first part had very minimal dialogues and seems to look like a mini-soft-porn.  It featured nothing but the incredibly sexy body of the female lead character Mauana (played by Snooky Serna), the boy-next-door charm and flawless skin of Antonio (played by Lloyd Samartino) and the to-die-for hunky flesh of the island boy (played by Tom Babauta).

The second part seems to have looked like a mini-travel show ala The Lonely Planet featuring the cultural dances and sights of Hawaii. Then the flick for its final part suddenly became a mini-soap opera that features the predictable twists and turns of a typical Pinoy afternoon TV drama.

Nevertheless, what is good about the movie is it’s not being a love story where the characters at the end would live happily ever after or had a sad ending where they ended up in tragic turns of event.  Amazingly, the ending was neither happy nor sad.  The ending was just true to what a typical life is.

tom babauta

But the main reason why I have always wanted to watch the film is because I was longing to recall and review how Tom Babauta looks like.  Thanks to Kuki Catindig, the effervescent aficionada of Snooky Serna, for giving me a DVD copy of the movie.

Young adults today may not know this, but it was the name of this B-list actor that gave birth to the coinage of a local slang that proliferated in the late ‘80s until mid ‘90s.  Out of Pinoy’s crazy yet cunning uniqueness, the name Tom Babauta during those times was conceived to mean gutom (hungry).  Often times, Pinoys a decade ago would say “Tom Babauta na ko” when they meant “Gutom na ako” (I’m already hungry).

Tom Babauta may have not contributed in the enrichment of Philippine cinema or may have not even acted very well in his role in Strangers in Paradise but his name has definitely been immortalized in the Pinoy pop-culture neologism.

Mabuhay ka Tom Babauta!