Alumnus of the Month

I am so glad and honored that I could no longer contain my dignified silence.  Manila Tytana Colleges (formerly known as Manila Doctors College), my alma mater, has chosen me to be this month’s alumnus.  I am clueless about the college’s External Affairs’ criteria for choosing me but let me extend my deepest gratitude.

According to the e-mail notifying me about this recognition, a short narrative and a short-bond-paper sized photo of my delicious and drop dead body will be posted in one of the college’s bulletin board.

I don’t have the time to check out what the college has written, but I presume it would be something positive.  I just hope that they gave me the opportunity to write the short narrative about myself because this is what I want them to post on that bulletin board…

Our alumnus for the month of July is suffering from grandeur delusion.  He is living a life believing that he is delicious.  He supposes that he is so sumptuous that people wants to eat him.  Though his secret ambition in life is to become a sensational porn star, he climbed the ladder of success through power-mongering and was labeled the vice president from hell.

During his BS Psychology student days in the college, he was tagged as the scholar-zilla who constantly exhibits tantrums and emotional meltdowns.  He was the most annoying student during his time.  Irritating enough that he won’t answer any question during class but instead snivels, fells ill, bleats for mercy and acts like the victim.

His sense of humor sucks and has a dreadful taste in fashion.  His favorite movie actress is Bella Flores.

But seriously, let me extend my overwhelming gratitude to MTC or MDC or whatever future name you would be…

Sigurado ko,  kapag nabasa nila ‘to, tanggal sa bulletin bord ang pangalan ko…

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