Epic Pornographic Fail

porno

porno

When the movie suddenly stopped and reeled on the credits, I felt blunt.  The people in front of me were already standing up and leading their way out of – CCP’s Tangahalang Huseng Batute – theatre, but I was still seating there trying to absorb and figure out what I just saw.

That is what I exactly felt when I saw the Cinemalaya 2013 Directors Showcase category entry entitled Porno.  I don’t know who or what was blunt.  I don’t know if I was the one who was so stupid I did not get what the movie wish to impart or if it was the movie that was simply dull and dreary it should be considered an epic fail.

I guess the director’s failure to string together the engaging tales of the three main characters was deliberate.  The failure to interconnect the key characters with each other in the film is typical of a real porn movie.  And I hate porn movies because of this usual and seemingly incoherent plot.  I can therefore say that I similarly hate this movie because of this.

With the excellent actors in Porno, the movie had its greatest potential to be one excellent film.  Rosanna Roces, Yul Servo, Angel Aquino and even the short stint of Bembol Rocco were effectively compelling.  Carlo Aquino only confirms that he is one great actor of his generation.  When his tale being a porn dubber by profession ended in the movie, I was still yearning that his character would pop out in the end.  If the writer and director effectively interlocked and inter-related the stories of the 3 characters, I would definitely have raves about the film.

But the movie as it is was like watching three slurring short films that were not connected with each other at all.  For me I’d rather watch the corny and clichéd yet entertaining Shake, Rattle & Roll franchise trilogies of Regal Films than watching an incoherent movie like Porno.

Epic peyl…

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