Artistas Quest For The Elusive Olympic Gold

a videograb from youtube featuring the judo powers of baretto and greco-roman wrestling ability of santiago

Philippine telecommunications magnate Manny V. Pangilinan (MVP) has been a longtime supporter of the Philippine Olympic Committee (POC), the duly recognized organization by the International Olympic Committee for the Philippines’ representation in the Olympic Games.

Hours ago, the country’s dream to win an Olympic medal faltered when Pinoy boxer Mark Barriga lost his fight to a Kazahstani fighter.  Thus, another 4 long years again the Philippines will have to wait for a chance to finally pull it off and achieve that elusive Olympic gold.

It has always been a well known fact that the POC lacks the modern equipment, cutting-edge facilities and expert trainers to hone Filipino athletes who would slug it out during the Olympics.  Many people say that the answer to this long running Olympic medal draught is money.

If a lot of people are saying that money is the solution, I just wondered, what if the 4-billion-peso losses of TV5 the TV network owned by MVP was instead spent to buy modern sports equipment, construct cutting-edge sports facilities and train, feed, clothe and shelter the Filipino athletes, would the Filipinos today be united and are already rejoicing for the triumph of the country’s first Olympic gold?

Yeah, if I were MVP I would have spent the 4 billion pesos to these sports related venture.  This would clearly be one great patriotic endeavor.  Too bad I am not MVP.

But if I have the wealth and power of MVP mixed with lunatic neurons and neurotransmitters of Nengkoy’s son (that’s me,) I would spend the 4 billion to Philippine sports but will have to have specific conditions to further ensure the success of obtaining the Olympic gold.  I would dole out 4 billion pesos to Philippine sports only if the following artistas (Filipino entertainment celebrities) will compete for the following Olympics event:

  1.  With the expertise she has shown during her NAIA Terminal 3 airport showdown with Mon Tulfo, actress Claudine Barreto will have to compete in women’s Judo and Taekwondo
  2.  Corollary to item number 1, actor Raymart Santiago will compete in men’s Greco-Roman Wrestling event
  3. Since the Aldeguer Sisters would be too old already by this time, I will demand that the Wea Twins who now for sure are adults must compete in the duet competition of Synchronized Swimming
  4. Corollary to item number 3, the Sex Bomb Dancers will compete also in Synchronized Swimming but in the team competition event
  5.  Since he has done two Panday movies and is planning to film a third one, senator/actor Ramon Bong Revilla must vie for men’s Fencing event
  6. Corollary to item number 5, Anabelle Rama who showed great potential in Fencing during the wake of the late Dolphy by using a cane in trying to whisk her nemesis must compete in that event
  7. Yet corollary to item number 6, Chito Arceo who ran like a scared rat when threatened by Anabelle with a cane must compete in the 100-meter dash
  8. For the country to have more chances of winning the Olympic gold in athletics, Vice Ganda who is a self-confessed horse must also compete in the 100-meter dash
  9. Marian Rivera, Charlene Gonzales, Alice Dixon and Alma Moreno must compete in the various Swimming events since all of them played the role of Dyesebel in the movies and on TV in their respective eras.  They can even vie for the 4×100 meter medley relay.  They will of course will be coached by Vilma Santos who ones played the same role during the ‘70s
  10. Too bad FPJ and Rudy Fernandez are no longer around, they could be our best bet in Shooting events.  These legends never miss a shot in their movies.   Nevertheless, I will give the opportunity to action stars Robin Padilla and Cesar Montano to compete in Air Rifle and Rapid Fire Pistol events
  11. Lastly, Kris Aquino.  She will not compete in any game – she’s to lame – but will instead be the Philippine flag bearer during the big opening ceremony to be escorted of course by Baby “Bimby” James

Talo nanaman kasi tayo kaya kung ano-ano nanaman ang naiisip ko. Go por gold!

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