I was walking on green fields and leaping through the flowery groves while the raise of the sun is mellowing…  It was an enormously divine green field of dreams…  I smelled the grassy breeze of air and felt the undisturbed delight of the snow capped mountain ranges above…  I was sweetly smiling for experiencing the charming breath of heaven… But I was aware that I was just lucidly dreaming.

I was awakened by the rumbling of my stomach.  With drooping eyes and remnants of dissipating sweet dream on my mind, I went straight to my toilet.  After some intense abdominal and intestinal twisting, wringing and extraction, like a typical Filipino that I am, I reached for my “tabo” (dipper) to soap and wash my posterior end.

With heavy and still half-opened eyes, I reached for the toilet paper dispenser but there was none in it only the cardboard roll was left.  This is when I realized like the controversial Filipino bathroom tissue TV commercial that in lovely and dreamy green fields there is no tissue paper.  That’s when I fully woke up!

Sa bukid walang papel. Uyyy! Ikiskis mo sa pilapil! Uyyy!