The word for the day is… Gemba

I recently read in an article that google is officially now a verb.  This new verb has been included in the 11th edition of Meriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary.  It is defined as: ‘to use the Google search engine to obtain information on the World Wide Web’. 

I wonder when the word ‘gemba’ will make it in any collegiate dictionary.  ‘Gemba’ like google is a verb (or can be a noun) that is starting to make its mark in the Pinoy psyche.  This colloquial-coined word when conjugated would sound as: gumemba, gumegemba and gegemba.

It is defined as a secret activity (usually leisurely in nature) that you need or wants to do but don’t want other mortals to know.  It’s like when a friend ask what are you going to do in the coming weekend and still want to be cool about it, you can respond by saying ‘”May gemba” or “Gegemba”.   It will be up to the listener to form his notion or conclusion may it be something dorky, sleazy or anything regular. 

The exquisiteness of the word ‘gemba’ is that it will automatically quit the listener to ask further for he may create the despicable impression that he is so persistent to know what the undisclosed pursuit actually is.  It actually measures the level of brain contamination, maliciousness or how slutty the mind of the listener is. 

This is also the term that you can smartly use if you have been asked by a soul about a friend’s present goings-on.  You can retort by saying, “Ayon sya, gumegemba!”  Meaning you don’t know.  Moreover, with its side-splitting snarky sound when used, you can be downright funny!

It has its limitations though.  You cannot use the word gemba when responding to your elders or to your significant other (like a spouse or a partner).  This will only spell out trouble since it signifies that you are actually keeping a goofy secret.  Neither can this word be used to your children for they may loose the respect that you have been building up since the day they were born.

Such a short word for a long yet powerful definition!  Halika na! Gumemba na tayo!

Doñas of my time

There has been a shortage of doñas now in the society.  Doñas in the Philippines are very different from the doñas out of it.  Doñas abroad can be just another married woman.  Here in the Philippines they are characterized with colorful traits, persona and qualities.  I have written two notable doñas already in this blog (they are Doñas Aguida and Doña Menang).  However, they are not the only doñas that I grew up knowing.  Except from possessing loads and loads of money, there are no hard rules on the distinct criteria in terms of personal qualities before you could be considered and called a doña.  Maybe from the diva doñas I grew up knowing, you could create these criteria, they are…

  • DOÑA VICTORINA – The Española wannabe with tons of money!  Doña Victorina, one of the most famous and comical characters created by Rizal.  She is well known for her extravagance and whims plus her ambition to Europeanize herself.  An Indio who rejects and denies her true identity in every form, may it be in her looks (from Asian straight brunette to blonde curls matched with European dresses in hot and humid Pinoy weather) or in her language ( a true-blue trying hard Spanish talker with deep Pinoy accent).  She marries a Spanish wimp to have a Spanish sounding name and to put a "de" in her name, thus calling her Doña Victorina de Espadana
  • DOÑA BUDING – Before stand-up comedy became a big hit, there was already Doña Buding.  She is the personification of decadence and arrogance on Pinoy TV.  She is ‘mata-pobre’, snooty and vain but utterly lovable.  Doña Buding is a nouveau riche that me and my sisters patiently wait for to speak-up on Penthouse Live hosted by Pops Fernandez and Martin Nievera.  When it’s her turn to do her monologue, it seems that the world would stop for a while since everybody is listening to the social-climber talking about her out-of-this-world riches, expensive diversions plus the illustrious beings that she has been with while wearing those big shiny rocks of jewelry.  She is a big blast of a laugh!
  • DOÑA DELILAH – The heavy-weighted, overbearing and disapproving mom-in-law of the poor and prudish man, John Puruntong.  Who can forget the famous punch line of this Pinoy archetype mother-in-law, "Kaya ikaw John, magsumikap ka!"  With the exemption to John, Doña Delilah is somebody who’s loving, affectionate and financially caring for her family.  She is the boss of the high-pitched sounding maid named Matutina whose main job is to sweep money in the house of her master.
  • DOÑA AGUIDA and DOÑA MENANG (you can read my previous blog about them)
  • DOÑA PAZ – Not a rich post menopausal baroness from Barangay Pinyahan but an atrocious passenger ship.  She was on her way to Manila when she collided into a cargo vessel carrying barrels of oil.  The news featured a blazing annihilation of the two ships in the middle of the sea from which it was virtually impossible to escape.  It was coined the worst maritime disaster ever.  The mournful yet far-famed Titanic’s casualities are only more that 1,500 but Doña Paz’s inferno claimed more than 4,000 mortals.  Many of the innocent victims were families on their way home for Christmas holiday.

Efff…

F is a letter that is not formerly incorforated in the Filifino alfabet.  F is a deceftive letter for it fuzzled and ferflexed a lot of Finoys on enunciating it froferly.  With the unimfresive decline of Finoys sfeaking the English language and still fancying and asfiring to resonate like a ferson who can sfeak it, a lot of exfressive Finoys would refeatedly utter the F way reflacing the unfortunate letter P.

Sfeaking in this fashion requires the listener to fossess a nafkin to mof-uf his face due to the sfits sfayring and sfewing from the stufid sfeakers mouth.

One frofound frofosition for those feofle with this froblem… flease fronounce your P froferly esfecially whem sfeaking in fublic.  You can fractice by reading a frose or a foem at the airfort!

Aaargh!

Superman has a son… I don’t believe it!

Dad  I watched ‘Superman Returns’ three times in three different movie houses just to review all over again if Superman actually has an offspring.  All silly movie viewers who saw it concluded that the cute kiddo is Superman’s child.  Sorry folks, but the movie did not in any way mention that he has a son.  There’s technically no information to confirm 100% 

Yeah, Lois has a son (Jason).  She also has a husband, okay?! 

Yeah, Lois whispered something to Superman at the hospital while recuperating.  But no one knows what it was. She might be saying “Spiderman is also good looking” or something! 

Jason2 Yeah, Lois’ son pushed a grand piano to save his mom.  He is also asthmatic or maybe it’s caused by the boat rocking through the ocean or maybe his father Richard White (Lois’ husband) is also an alien with superpowers whom his spawn inherits! 

Yeah, Superman seems to be so emotionally attached to the kid!  So what?  With a cute face like that of the kid, who wouldn’t? 

Yeah, Superman mentioned “You may sometimes be an outcast, but you will never be alone… Father becomes a son and son becomes a father”.  Will somebody explain what the beep does that mean? 

Superman1_1 Yeah, Lois’ son mentioned that he liked Superman. So what? Everybody love Superman!

If ever it’s true, then I don’t like the idea.  I demand a DNA test!  Now na!

Five People That I Pray For…

Prayer is one of the best free gifts we receive.  Praying may be a profound ritual, a grand ceremony or a simple wish.  It is totally without a cost but has lots of rewards. It is a communication that brings us closer to the Higher Being.  It can be an effective escape and a way to solving pressing problems. It is also a mode to thank, praise and show gratitude to God on issues we thought would never be disentangled.

Sign I admit that I am not a prayerful person.  But when I pray, I do it with sincerest heart and intention.  The five people that I never miss praying for are:

First, I pray for my parents and relatives.  These are the sets of people that can never be chosen.  These precious people are sent from heaven via fate.  These are the folks that molded me and built my life’s foundation.  They are the rays of sunshine for what could have been a dark and dreary life.

Second, I pray for my friends.  This is the set of individuals that I have chosen.  God, with his grace empowered me this time to choose them.  They enabled me to create further my social nature.  I consider them the breezes in my life.

Third, I pray for my co-workers, officemates and employers.  They may be or not be friends or relatives but a big chunk of my life’s time is spent with them.  They keep me sane, worthy and economically sound.

Fourth, I pray for my loved one.  This person may have already passed through my lifetime or may have yet to arrive.  I always pray that this person’s heart and intentions be pure at all times.  This individual makes life more colorful and exciting.

Pray_1 Lastly, I pray for myself.  It’s either asking or thanking for a little peace of mind.  I could never pray for the sets of people I have mentioned if my being will never be guided and rewarded.

Pray! It’s free.

World Cup 2006 Philippine Team!

President Gloria Arroyo prior to going to the Philippines from Spain decided to cross Germany to watch the world’s greatest sports game – soccer.  While watching the quarter finals between Germany and Argentina she luckily seated beside the president of FIFA.  With her persuading words and charm she was able to convince the FIFA president to include the Philippines to participate in the world cup even if it has been running half-way through.

Players_4 After the game and on her way back to the Philippines, Gloria made an immediate shortlist of players who would play at the World Cup.  Beside the list of players’ names she also wrote her justifications so that in case her god-son Cheez Escudero and the opposition would question her about the selection, she would have enough reasons why these people were chosen.  The lucky players are:

  1. Frankie (the scary yet gentle giant of Pinoy Big Brother) – he will be the goalkeeper.  With his long limbs, surely all soccer balls can be easily blockaded.  Moreover, with his scary looks, opponents will surely not go near him.
  2. Manny Pacquiao and Robin Padilla – soccer is known to have very poignant spectators and players.  Due to these running wild emotions, it has been a usual scenario that brawls happen.  To protect Pinoy players from this circumstance, Manny and Robin will be the best Philippine represetatives in case this brute situation arise.
  3. Zanjoe Marudo and Sam Milby – a handful of soccer players are gorgeous and good-looking.  To create the illusion that Filipinos also possess this striking physical qualities, Zanjoe and Sam are the finest pick.
  4. Madam Auring – aside from creating a mark for the Philippines to line-up the first female soccer player in the World Cup, Madam Auring can predict who among the opponent players will score.  This will truly help Frankie who to traumatize with his looks during the game.
  5. Willie Revillame – the Philippine team would not just want it as as sports game but also a money making venture.  Due to the inability to finalize the national budget to finance the team, Willie can actually solicit money from the hoards of spectators while singing the Wowowee theme song.  Wow, the collection is in Euro!
  6. The Tulfo Brothers (Mon, Ben and Erwin) – soccer entails the players to do a lot of kicking.  These three brothers have been doing a lot of that.  Kicking the assess of suspected criminals and bad elements in the society.
  7. Rustom Padilla and Richard Gutierrez – aside from the Tulfo brothers, these two guys can actually help in scoring.  Richard will just need to spread his wings ‘Mulawin’ style.  There has been fresh news that Rustom accepted the role for Zsa Zsa Zaturnnah, the Pinoy gay superhero.  In this case these two guys can just fly within the arena while keeping the ball on air and never let the opponents touch it!

Worldcuplogo_1 Gloria finished her list, reviewed it and felt satisfied.  Back to the Philippines and on her way down the airport tarmac, you can here her mumble a song, ‘Here we go! Ole Ole Ole…"

Sharpness of James Blunt

Jamesblunt A couple of nights ago I was able to watch James Blunt sang live in two US TV shows.  He sang ‘Beautiful’ at Late Night With Conan O’Brien show and ‘Goodbye My Lover’ in Oprah.  James Blunt is one of the hottest singers now in UK.  He is popular not because of his looks (he looks like a geeky Hobbit actually) but because of his moving songs and extraordinary voice.

One thing I noticed in both numbers.  James Blunt was truly the opposite of his surname.  He was truly sharp.  Sharp in the sense of conveying the words that he wants to say in his song.  Also, in both live performances he delivered it with bursting emotion.  He doesn’t seem to sing for the mere singing or for merely promoting his fantastic album.  He seem to be so engulfed with the emotion and meaning of the song.  Especially the Oprah episode, I noticed that he had gone teary eyed upon the end of his song.  He was blurting out the phrase "I’m so hollow".  Gosh that was simply enchanting!  He really feels and internalize that he was able to get across the full emotion to the listeners.

Jamesblut5 In his first debut album ‘Back to Bedlam’ my personal favorite is ‘Goodbye My Lover’.  In a number of interviews, James Blunt always says that this song is the cut that he is most proud of.  Did you know that this song was recorded inside the bathroom of Mr. Blunt’s landlady in Los Angeles?  It is a bit rare to know that a piano exists inside a bathroom.  Or maybe this is one of those foolish make-up stories to hype up the album.  Well, it doesn’t need one actually because the words and melody of the song is so brilliant.

People say James Blunt nowadays is a pain in the ass to deal with, he is bratty and doesn’t fix him self up.  All I can say about that is, "the hell I care!"  I am not a fan but he moved me with his songs.  Very few singers can do that.