The funny thing about life is that things don’t always turn out the way you want them to be. In the first 25 years of my existence I never thought that I would be later on independent and live all by myself. Living alone can actually be quite empowering.
More than 5 years ago, it just dawned on me that I needed some space to spread my wings as an independent, responsible person. And the only way that I could do that is if I live on my own. Don’t get me wrong, I care for my family dearly and they love me as well.
Some mortals thought I was foolish leaving the solace and comforts of home. Others thought that it was a wise decision for it may reinforce my independent beliefs and would build me character.
Living independently entails a lot of things and making certain sacrifices…
- Budget is always a primary concern. I need to be more responsible with my finances because I don’t want to be crawling back to Nengkoy for some help
- It controls what I eat. I now serve the food that comes to my system. I have the power to make healthier food choices
- I manage my own time. I need to have the discipline to wake up and sleep on time. It entails me to properly schedule my activities on weekdays and weekends.
- In the grocery, I now bother the potency of laundry detergents, the effects of bleaching agents, the strength of scrubbing pads, the color of rags, scent of bathroom deodorizer, the thickness of toilet papers, the size of trash bags and the list go on.
- I need to meet up and coordinate with people whom I didn’t bother dealing with before. An electrician, a plumber, a computer technician, cable and telephone linemen, internet customer server and even the trash collector.
- Laundry is another thing. Plus, ironing it! Which, I hate and have mastered.
- Being on your own also means being responsible for everything in my place including maintaining it. I literally get down to my knees and start scrubbing. I believe that cleaning your own space and place reinforces the feeling of independence.
There would be days when feelings of loneliness get to me. I must admit, this adjustment period took a while and getting used to during the early months. But once I got over this initial hurdle, nothing compares to coming home to the place that is all mine. On those days when loneliness hits me my personal solutions would go out and do shopping (when there is disposable income), go to a spa and get a relaxing massage, visit my mom or call some friends for small talks. If all else fails I just read a good book, listen to music or watch a new DVD movie.
Living independently is more than just a choice – it has been my necessary rite of passage. The time of solitude is one of the keys in helping me reflect about myself. It aided me to value those who are genuinely important as well was what is truly important.
Now, I rarely feel restless living alone in my apartment. I go home knowing that I have made a home for myself. I wake up in the morning and take pride in what I have accomplished. This is empowerment.
Happy Independence Day to all!